Someone at my workplace is retiring and they are having lunch today out of the building and her official leaving do is in the evening after work.
I'm not going to either (I have an excuse for the evening but not for lunch today) and I feel bad about not showing but I find them really uncomfortable and I feel like I am just showing up for office politics rather than wishing the person well.
It's usually all small talk which I can't do so I end up just eating and saying nothing and not being any part of any conversation.
What do you do in these situations?
I sometimes jump into a conversation when my parents and some other adults are talking, but usually that just make me feel dumb as all the others will go quite afterwards and say "yes..." and then come with a speculative comment about what I said.
Someone at my workplace is retiring and they are having lunch today out of the building and her official leaving do is in the evening after work.
I'm not going to either (I have an excuse for the evening but not for lunch today) and I feel bad about not showing but I find them really uncomfortable and I feel like I am just showing up for office politics rather than wishing the person well.
It's usually all small talk which I can't do so I end up just eating and saying nothing and not being any part of any conversation.
What do you do in these situations?
I would probably choose to go to the lunchtime event as this you can make a quick exit from with the excuse you have a lot of work to do. I tend not to go to the evening events unless I've worked closely with the person and that's only if I got on with them. My thoughts are that they probably have plenty of people who will keep them occupied so saying your good buys in the office is much better and more memorable.
I'd go to the lunch one - You need to have lunch anyway, that way if nobody talks to you, you get a quiet lunch and at least you've shown your face. Personally I never go to any work dos, I used to go to some of the small dos of our old department but now it's just one big bash and it's far too many people for me to deal with. I could probably handle a lunch as you can just tag along though.
Someone at my workplace is retiring and they are having lunch today out of the building and her official leaving do is in the evening after work.
I'm not going to either (I have an excuse for the evening but not for lunch today) and I feel bad about not showing but I find them really uncomfortable and I feel like I am just showing up for office politics rather than wishing the person well.
It's usually all small talk which I can't do so I end up just eating and saying nothing and not being any part of any conversation.
What do you do in these situations?
If the person who is leaving asks me to attend I do make an effort and if I can't make it I let them know the true reason. If it is a general invitation posted on the notice board then I probably wouldn't attend. Even though I have met alot of nice people through work I don't think of them as my 'friends' so my main considerations would be, does this person 'really' want me there and will I enjoy being there.
I think that regardless of how independant you feel you should be sometimes it is easier in the long term to show up for reasons of office politics. In my current job we all work irregular shifts so non attendance at social events tends to go unnoticed.
I generally attend leaving dos as a matter of being polite unless I genuinely cannot make it (which hasn't happened yet), the last leaving do was for someone I despised anyway so was a little reluctant to go but still did go to it
Leaving dos can be fun sometimes I think
Well I didn't go to either, the lunch one was a general one posted on the white board, so I don't feel to bad about that.
I had a genuine excuse (feeble but genuine, I have a dog I needed to get home for) for not going to the evening one tonight, although I have felt pretty uncomfortable all day about it at least I had work to do. The lady in question did come round to everyone before she went home to change, so I got to wish her well on a one to one basis, and she didn't look like she was too worried that I wouldn't be there (but I never too sure).
There will probably be lots of people there tonight as she has worked there for 30 years, so I am glad I'm not going. Doesn't stop me feeling guilty even though I think i've made the right decisions.
It was really weird though leaving the office with lots of people still there at 5.45pm when they normally go between 4 and 4.30pm, I'm used to an empty building at that time, was feeling quite stressed when I left as I felt they were intruding in my time.
I don't feel at all bad for skipping such events. If I was close to the person, I invite him or her out to lunch one on one. I don't even make up excuses..just say something like "thanks for inviting me, but no."
It depends on whether I know the person well or not, if I have any prior engagements and if I can afford the place that is chosen. I'd usually go to the lunch if possible unless it was somebody I really couldn't stand (but if that were the case, they probably wouldn't have invited me anyway) but miss the later send-off unless personally invited and able to make it.
I'd go to the lunch event at least, as it's a polite thing to do. I usually try to socialize with my co-workers whenever I can, whether it's eating in the breakroom or going to a work party.