it is usually unconcious,and i dont notice until someone points it out or something draws my attention to it.some ARE concious,such as this thing i do with my fingers,or chewing my hair.
I would say my stimming is conscious (I can stop doing it if I want, and I can usually control it in public places), but it is a habit so a lot of the time I don't realise I'm doing it until I've already started. I get very uncomfortable if I can't stim for long periods of time, plus I can't get to sleep without stimming.
I suppose it's like people who bite their nails, they don't think consciously 'I'm going to bite my nails really short now', but it isn't an uncontrollable tic like people with Tourettes have.
when you stim, is it something you consciously decide to do to make you feel better? Or is it more of a natural response, something you don't really think about, maybe something you don't even always realise you're doing?
I'd say it's a bit of both. Like some others said, I do it without knowing but if my attention is drawn to it I can stop. Most of the time.
Sometimes (ex. like with bouncing my leg) i actually can't stop or i need to make an effort to do it. And when i do stop it, if i don't concentrate on it I'll just go back to doing it again.
Sometimes i do it just to do it.
Do auties/aspies just stim when they're stressed, or can it be an expression of excitement as well?
I do different things for many different reasons. When stressed, relaxed, in pain, bored, etc.
Ex. tapping my foot, rubbing my feet/heels together (which i'm doing as i speak due to a stomach ache), wringing my hands, rocking, and (the one that freaks people out) scratching my arms/thighs.
Also like what ceri chaos said: i get uncomfortable/jumpy when i can't do certain things. like in public when rocking really isn't a good idea, so when i'm sitting in a very crowded room but can't rock to calm down i get nervous/jumpy/edgy and have to take a break
well i stim ALOT. alot of times i start doing it without thinking about it but than after i start i will realize im doing it but alot of times it just takes to much effort to stop so i just stop when i stop. its really really hard for me to stop hand flapping when i do that...its somewhat easier to stop rocking and hitting/shaking my head.
all of it.
sometimes its osmething i cocnisouly do, its NOT a reaction to stress all the time peopel assume it is and say it is and that annoys me. usually i dont notice myself doing it, and then i eitehr stop myself or coninue conciously. sometimes its a reaction to stress, often its a reaction to sensory overload.
most often it is a thing i do that helps me concentrate. it helps me learn in too.
oh i do almost every possible stim you can name, every generic one and many many many weird ones. i stim almost 24/7 often more than one stim at once. ive never met someone who stims as many ways or as often as me.
i hitmyself on the head when i am anxious, not to hurt myself,
but the constant hitting on the head make the anxiety go away a little, not go away, i get numb. cant explain it.
same thing with stimms i usually first recognize that i am breathing very fast and then i realize i am stimming with my legs under the table o rubbing my hand.
rubbing helps alot.
before i never showed anyone my stims, i used to do it under the table etc.
so i guess it is conscious to a point.
after that it becomes a OCD.
and that is when its gone too long, and by that time i hit myself hard, punch rather i guess.
and or bang my head against a wall.
I have a hard time suppressing them in public. Mom doesn't care too much, but sis does. Do you know how I can't stop myself from stimming in public
I'm afraid I don't know how to stop stimming in public. I'm 25 now and I stim a great deal. I reason that if I've got this far through life stimming all the time, it's pointless to concentrate on stopping now!
From your post it sounds like it is your sister who is bothered by your stimming in public, not you. I'd say ignore your sister, if YOU don't feel self-conscious about stimming in public then why should you try to stop?
Luckily my mum and dad don't even notice anymore (unless it's my finger clicking, which annoys them because of the noise), and my boyfriend actually finds my stimming useful because it helps him work out what mood I am in, depending on the type of stim.
Stims are good! Embrace the stim!
(sorry, I got a little carried away there)
staring.heh...
well,people stare at me,regardless of if im stimming or not.if you saw a profile pic of me,you would know why.
biig shiny toecapped boots.chains left right 'n centre.
so i stare right back.and i dont quit when they do.
Well, I understand that. But it's also something that you can start doing without realizing it - so without control.
But a compulsion is something you tend to be aware of more than a stim. A stim can be unconscious but a compulsion by definition implies that you feel the urge to do something and that you are aware of the "need" to do these compulsive actions.
... but then again, maybe that's the difference. I feel like I HAVE to do those things. I am COMPELLED to do them, overwhelmed by the anxiety I feel sometimes if I'm not doing them. It helps me shut down my mind. ??
That sounds like classic obsessive-compulsive behaviour to me.
I wonder if it is possible that something can be a stim at one time but a compulsion at another? It sounds like that is what you are experiencing, the same movement or action can be a stim sometimes, but other times it is an OCD thing (when you feel you HAVE to do it and develop strong anxiety when you don't).
(A tic on the other hand I would describe as an "impulsive compulsion" - it is similarly compulsive but the "decision" to do this action sneaks past your "inner censor". They are possible to curb for a while but much harder to control consciously than OCD compulsions are - even though you may find the OCD compulsions far more distressing)
I am diagnosed as having obsessive compulsive disorder - I've learned to control a lot of my obsessions, or atleast control to the point of not letting them interfere with my life too much. (sometimes they do, I'm obsessively checking this forum, instead of writing some papers that are looming with a deadline... heh 
)
I was just trying to use my experiences with that and compare them to stims, in hopes to better understand stimming.
But I guess my obsessive compulsive behaviors perhaps are more easily compared with obsessive interests...
I wonder if you could give me some insight into the following -
I work with a little girl that has an obsessive interest in suspenders/jumper outfits. She will go out of her way to look at someone wearing them and comment on them, and go so far as to layer the outfits of her dolls (i.e. putting shirts under dresses and such) so that they look like 'jumper' outfits, and then talks about them, sometimes incessantly.
However she hates wearing them herself, and gets upset when she has to wear them. She avoids looking at herself in the mirror when she has them on-- this gets better throughout the day as she has them on, but at first she doesn't even want to look at herself.
anyway, I've been trying hard to understand this - what it means, to have a seeming obsession with something, but an aversion at the same time. I've considered the idea that maybe she's so over excited about them she doesn't want to wear them herself, because of the fact that it's just too much emotionally - but even if you talk about her wearing them (like yesterday she ran to see someone wearing suspenders and started talking about them, I said, "Well maybe you would like to change into some suspenders when you get home?" and she got upset/kind of angry and told me "No..." etc.) Which really confused me. I mean, I'm fine with talking about jumper outfits/etc. with her, but if she refuses to wear them herself I feel I'm fueling a somewhat inappropriate obsession....
It's REALLY been bothering me. I love this kid to death and any insight would really be appreciated, just so I know I'm handling the situation right - or if I should approach it from a different angle.
hmmm I dunno, makeshftwngs. That is an interesting issue. When I was a kid I loved looking at cages in catalogs and collected everything from bamboo cricket cages to bird cages. I was overjoyed on vacation when mom let me get a collapsible dog cage at a 2nd hand shop. We drug it home on the plane. When she asked me to help pick living room drapes (since I shared dad's taste in colors) I picked the bird cage pattern. In school other little girls drew horses. I drew cages. When Captain Kangaroo redid his bunk, it was surrounded by bars of wood dowels and I thought that was like a dream. I can see how being obsessed with cages would not necessarily mean *I* wanted to be locked inside one. Okay, in my case, I sort of did. That crib security thing. But... I can see how someone obsessed with an object might not necessarily want to be inside of it, have it wrapped around them, etc.
nice to know im not the only one who did the 'eye thing'
NyanChan:
Or I used to wiggle my eyes around to burn wavy lines on the back of my retinas.
I also like to tap on things.
Pakrat:
I also used to press my fingers against my eyelids to see the strange colours.
OMG!  I did all that, too.  I still tap on stuff, but the making wavy lines on the retinas and the pressing on the eyelids, I used to do.  I just hope I didn't do any permanent damage.
I used to do both of those things, it never even occured to me they could be stims too.
I used to spend lunch break at primary school pressing my eyeballs with my fists (to see the colours and patterns) whilst spinning round. I used to press so hard that I would go completely blind for a few minutes. I stopped doing it when my mum told me that one day my vision wouldn't come back and I'd be blind forever (I'm not sure whether my mum was right, but it definitely stopped me doing it!).
I don't know if this counts as a stim (?) because it doesn't involve motion. I like to hold my hand against the left side of my face. Feeling a palm on my cheek is a comfort. Sometimes if stressed, i might have both hands on my cheeks. My mom used to do the same thing to herself. It is one of my favorite things for my Significant Other to do for me, to let me rest my cheek in his warm hand. It feels unbelievably soothing and connecting.
I never really thought the behavior was odd until recently when I saw a woman waiting on an elevator with one hand resting on the side of her face for no apparent reason. It weirded me out because it looked so odd. I asked my friend does it make me look weird like that when I do it. He said yes, but he hadn't wanted to be rude and tell me that. So... now I try not to do it much around him. I often stop myself when I realize it. For some reason, when I'm at his house is when I want to do it most, mainly if I am standing around or if I am uncertain.
I might also mention that when I am pacing around inside my apartment, I catch myself doing bits and pieces of katas that I used to do when I studied karate. That suggests to me that martial arts might satisfy many of the same needs as stimming. (I sometimes wonder if we've each got a warrior deep down inside struggling to be free.)
Rofl, I do the same, I am always doing Kata moves when I am alone or punching in the air, kicking, "age uki" then "gyaku tsuki" stuff like that...
Sometimes my neighbours watch me from through the windows and might think I am ***, since I am 26 and jump and play around like I was 9.