Aspies For Freedom

is he good with crowds no outbrusts in them?  how is the curicuim in the inculistion is it just as good as main stream?if he will lose acedemiclly i'd say main stream his for a year and see how it goes if not then  smaller classes would be fine.sped clases though smaller may not be the best place if you  suffer ie you can mainstream them the next year becuase they havent learned more then the basics.

can should be can't

I guess the biggest problem with mainstream school would be bullying, I am not sure if that would be a problem in inclusive. I've perceived it so that aspies who go to school with LFAs and other aspies have a more positive view of autism, but still not sure.

very much so.
i have a damaged spine from somebody jumping on me when i was about 6-7.
i have suffered concussions from having my head slammed into a concrete floor(and THAT was in a private school!)
i have a scar on my hand from someone using a pair of scissors on me.(they however,have a bigger one from their ear to their jaw.)
if you do put him into mainstream,for godsake teach him this
dont hit first.wait for them to make the first move.the second they do,knee them in the groin,smash their nose on your knee and run to the staff room or library.
it might also be a good idea to have him learn Karate or kickboxing.
tell him to fight dirty.go for the groin,eyes,pull their hair,twist their wrists.
most bullies will run if the person they attack hurts them sufficently.[/fromexperience]

when i was about his age,maybe a year older,i went to school with a hardbacked book under my shirt.there was this kid,maybe 8-9 who kept winding me.so,that day,he hit the book,looked shocked(i think) and i then proceeded to beat seven shades out of him with said book,

I wonder if I am lucky to mostly have been bullied psychologically.

as you said,those differences make him what he is.teach him that.tell him exactly what and whom he is.re-enforce that it is a good thing,and that anyone who says different is either jealous or a liar.

in short.
teach him to be proud to be AS.teach him that it sets him apart,makes him better,more intellegent and less petty.
it might not be sure,but hell.it will bolster his confidence.

it might not be true,sure.

i meant to say

That sounds like horrible advice - why would you want a child to grow up as a narcissist who is arrogant and looks down on everybody?

alright,that might have some out wrong.
what i mean is,teach him to be proud of it,not ashamed.

Slightly off topic, but others have mentioned bullying so I'll go with it.

Yes, physical bullying can and does happen.
Yes, physical bullies are looking for a physical response.
Yes, it's good for your child to how how to defend himself.

But...

Encouraging/advocating vital strikes - eyes, groin - can have it's downsides.
-There is the possibility of getting labelled a psycho.
-It can lead to escalation. (It might work fine the first time but if the bully is determined enough they will bring a buddy or two the next time.)
-The child who causes the most damage can often get in the most trouble. Going for the eyes or groin can cause lasting or permanent damage.

I favour teaching/encouraging a more defensive stance.

- If someone shoves you; Grab hold of them there's a possibility they'll fall over too because the act of shoving someone can put you off balance.
- If someone swings a punch at you; step way back - it's very hard to adjust a punch mid swing. Alternatively, step in towards the person - right in their face if you have to.
The alternative may seem counter intuitive to most people, and it is, but that's why it works. The theory is it's much harder to pull a punch short once you've swung long. Even if it's managed, the punch will have less force behind it.

Tactics aside, you mentioned your son has one friend he plays with a lot. My recommendation (not per see the best or most practical) is to find out where his friend will be going to school. My reasoning here is, "safety in numbers". Even bullies use this and are more likely to pick on the loners. Since it's hard for AS children to make friends, I'm in favour of making allowances for exisiting friends.

Hehehe okay I understood that, but perhaps Mom didn't. Aikido is an iffy art for a HFA. Being both a practitioner of aikido and a HFA, I can tell you he might have a problem with getting in close to his partners or even getting touched by them, especially at 5. If you were to try out martial arts for him, I suggest one that allows his own personal space such as karate or something like that. It personally took me a long time to get used to aikido but I love it now. The art is nowhere near as important though as where he takes it. If you are thinking of starting him in a martial art, talk with his potential teachers and see what their history and willingness to teach a HFA is. Also, let him take a class and just watch. If he makes a friend, it's a "keeper" place. This is how I found my place. I am not what you'd call friendly at all and I quickly made friends with a person in aiki, which is initially why I stayed in it. Self defense, sure. Friendship, even more valuable

I'll diverge from the group and focus on another issue. OT.  Your child is not done with the need for OT.  If he hates shoes and socks and is sucking of wet washcloths there are tactile issues still in play. At minimum he sounds as if he experiences tactile hypersensitivity.  
If sensory defensive, it could make him uncomfortable physically in large groups as well.  It usually displays as a child who sits on the outskirts of the group. ... anyhow I'd suggest two things.  First, find an OT who is certified or at least has a good understanding of SIE.  Second, put him on a sensory diet over the summer. Basically it involves brushing the body every so many hours (there is a very specific order and technique to it, including areas not to brush) with a soft surgeons brush as well as engaging certain sensory stimulatory activities (basically whatever the individual child is in need of proprioceptive, vestibular etc.) A good OT can instruct you on how to do it.  Usually it takes several weeks to achieve the desired results. In end it will make a huge difference in his comfort level and behavior.  

You might want to take alook at the "Out of Sync" child.  The book contains little behavioral vignettes.  I'm guessing you will recognize your son in some of them. It then goes on to explain what sensory system is affected.  May even include some sensory diet exercises to help.

I think self contained has draw backs but it is better than general ed where the different get pick on.  Pecking order and bottom of the food chain dynamics can not be stopped alll the time anywhere.  We are human, even victims will bully some one weaker than them.  I like self contained with some inclusion with a paraprofessional.  Self contained gives my child a quite classroom with like peers who he has friendships with.  It moves slower academically but my school district has let my son go into regular ed for writing and math. HOWEVER WHEN HE STARTED THIS YEAR THE SCHOOL WAS INCLUDING HIM IN GYM AND MUSIC ONLY.  It made me mad that a kid with sensory issues is put in a gym with 3 class rooms of kindergardeners and expected to not have a melt down.  Who's brillaint idea is it to include autistic kids in General Ed Gym?  The director of Special ed who is a Doctor.   I feel it is important for him to be ina place where he can develop friendships and learn social skills. As far as academically I believe he can catch up later.   I had a professor in college who told me, every thing you learned in elementy school you could have learned in one month at later age, school is improtant for social interaction at that age.  If he learns to read slower than a NT so what?  It's not a race to see who is smarter faster.  I know my son is intellegent and can learn.  I like to think of school as more as, who and what are we going to bring into my child's life to help him reach his full potiential.  What can I do for him to help him to be all that he can be.  That said I keep a look out for bullies everywhere.  I am not above going down to school with my bitch lipstick on and raising hell if my son is being abused. I give them plenty of help and options and never open the can of whip ass unless they deserve it.   I don't care if the distirct hates me, that is their problem. I've had some run ends with distric Pyscologist.  She doesn't know squat about autism and has the power over all these kid's placements.  I have threatened her with my cousin, who is a Emmy winning Investigative Journalist doing a story on her and what she does.  This really got her to shut up one time. Learn your rights under the IDEA law if you are in the US. Ask for it in writing and film every important meeting, you may need to put it on YOUTUBE later!  I do try and get along with everybody but I am my son's warrior MOM just like my Mom was for me.
I had/ have a lot of cognitive issue in school and life.  The teachers were pissy because they didn't know how to teach me.  The kids treated me like I was stupid and it looked like I was.  My Mother was the one that never gave up and gave me self worth and keep my hopes up.  She taught me to love learning.  You are your childs port in the storm.

What happens with adults who have quite severe sensory issues but otherwise are high functioning? Is there anything that can be done with this sensory diet idea. The brushing sounds like it would be a very nice thing to have done.

Our son is 3 now and he'll have to start school in fall 2008. At the moment, we'd prefer special ed because there are only 15 or less children in the classroom. And the teachers are accepting supporting devices as the so called edulink.

Have you ever thought of judo? I worked very well with our child.