Aspies For Freedom

Hello AFF forum users,

I just got back from watching the Larry King Live episode on Autism, and the episode certainly made me feel like garbage.

I took notes during the program and the following represents a brief rundown of what occurred based upon my observations:

1. A few Specific points:

--> Bill Cosby implicitly compared autism to polio and Tuberculosis
--> Suzanne Wright indicated that it is horrible for kids to plunge into the darkness that is autism
--> Braxton complained that not making eye contact is a devastating thing.
--> A clip of J-Mac was featured briefly (the only real good part of the entire episode where autistic-positives were featured)
-->One parent indicted that finding out his child was autistic was like experiencing a death in the family

2. General observations :

--> Autism Speaks was the main organization in the hour long episode.
--> They constantly ran clips of the movie so-titled "Autism Every Day"
--> Not once did they feature an autistic at the table to give their thoughts on the matter.
--> Curebie attitudes went pervasive throughout the episode.
--> The episode was basically a bunch of parents complaining that their lives were completely ruined by their autistic son/daughter.

Your thoughts, If you watched the episode?

-----Thanks!-----
~CGK

I don't know, but I refuse to make eye contact because I don't want to, I am told refusing to do things that you're able to do... as we know some autistics can talk, but don't want to.. is an autie-thing.

In fact I refuse to do a lot of things that I don't feel like doing, in fact I do this about 50 times a day when somebody says I should do something, or suggests I get help.. well guess what, I don't want to, therefore I won't.

I am certainly feeling the "darkness" of autistic-tendencies now, as I have let my AS control my entire life (I do the same things at the same time every day, and can't tolerate changes), but if I could find a way to use my incredible intellect beneficially, as I do have tons of marketable skills, then I would be celebrating the strengths of AS.  Right now, I choose darkness.

Consider whether "don't feel like doing it" may actually be better explained by "don't have the mental energy to do it" or "am overwhelmed by the concept of doing it"? If this is so, you may be able to "budget" mental energy in order to do the essential things.

Anyway, I CAN make eye contact, but I usually don't. Basically, "I can look at you or listen to you, but not both." I look at people's mouths instead; that way what I'm seeing reinforces what they're saying instead of distracting from it. And anyway, many cultures (and most animals) consider eye contact to be aggressive.

I heard if you don't make eye contact in Holland, they think there's something wrong with you.

i like bill cosby alot and usually agree with him, especally on issues such as black equality and all that, but he is so wrong on this.  polio and tb are diseases that hurt people and can kill them.  i think he's equating autism to a crippled brain or a disease that kills children (or at least their souls).  brain working fine, i'm not working on a crippled brain, just a diffrent one, and i like it and it's normal to me.  an nt brain i think is sorta crippled.

and eye contact, please.  sorry, i can't focus on someone's eyes for hours at a time like that, i get scared and i like to focus on a few things nearby to keep me upbeat and to loosen up.  not a devestation, my family is fine with no eye contact all the time.  it just gets me creeped out.

and autism is not a darkness, they make it seem like it's some horrible monster that eats people and that their children need to be rescued from it.  that's who they are, they aren't trapped in darkness, most likely, it's lost in translation.  and autism is not like a death in the family.

i guess these people equate autistics as dead, souless people alive in body only, that have bad brains and need to be resecued.  digusting.  this is the sort of thing that will get our rights taken away, at least here in the us if they are succesful.  they need to listen to us...oh wait, we don't exist.

Here's a transcript: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0...kl.01.html

KING: Have you had it affect you personally in your family at all?

COSBY: No.

So what does Bill Cosby have to do with Autism? Why does he always have to stick his face (and his bogus "doctorate") in front of every camera on earth? He doesn't know a damn thing about Autism. He's just a comedian who hasn't been funny in 20 years.

When Larry King's topic is "Blowhard Billionaires" -- THEN they can have "Dr." Cosby on...

Meanwhile, as usual, the show is littered with know-nothing celebrities at the exclusion of any authentic AS voice. Very disappointing.

How 'bout we have Darryl Hannah set things straight for us?

That's someone who has a spot on the autistic spectrum, for certain.

It's kind of depressing - people like Cosby go on to these shows and talk rubbish, huge charities and well meaning people collect vast sums of money and pour them into funds to eradicate the spectrum, and upstanding groups echo the message.

All the while they don't realise what they are doing is trying bring about genocide =(

I didn't see the show but I did hear about it and I read the transcript and as a NT mother of a 5yo boy who is HFA I understand "One parent indicated that finding out his child was autistic was like experiencing a death in the family".  I know that I grieved for the typical child that I didn't have or would never have....The reason why I think parents do this is that you expect your child to be like everyone else and all of a sudden specialist and therapists are throwing all of this information at you that overwhelms you.  When my son was diagnosed the psychologist told me to go and buy a specific book  (Children with Autism A Parents Guide edited by Michael D. Powers, Psy.D. which I did.  One of the first things it said was "you will have grief for the child you thought you had".  I was told that my son was never going to be pottied trained or live a normal life(which I now know is a bunch of crap).  Once I read about autism and did my own research I realized how lucky I was to have my son....and how much he has taught me in the past few years.  I know now that its a part of him but does not define him.  I feel so blessed to have him in my life!!!  I now understand why he doesn't make eye contact, likes chewing on face cloths and ling up his matchbox cars by there color.  And I now embrace all of his "quirks" and I realize those little things make him who he is and I love everyone of them!

I just wanted to try to explain it from a parents perspective...

Thanks

twokids3dogs, you make an excellent point -- so much of your grief wasn't for who your son IS, it was for who the 'experts" told you he was going to be.

This is just like mothers freaking out when they find out their son or daughter is gay -- they run screaming into the night because they think their kid will be showing his ass in a Leather bar and die of AIDS. "OH, MY GOD! My child is a fag, and he'll die lonely and miserable in an AIDS ward."

They don't think, "My son will do well in college, meet a nice guy and they'll be happy together." Because that's not what the hate-mongering media and "cure homosexuality" organizations tell you.

the stupid pyhcolosist set the bar really low for me when i was younger.  they said i wouldn't even finish high school, among other things.  now i have a bachloer's in biology, and even though i can't drive or have trouble tying shoes sometimes, i'm one of the main go to's around school for anti-virus protection and tutoring.

i think they just say this stuff so they make us look stupid and sell more of their physcology treatments to make us feel bad.  i went to a few pyscs on and off growing up (nothing really long term), and it was mostly good, but i know some others were terrible.

with all of this pro cure stuff now getting worse (autism was 'rare' when i was growing up), it's going to be harder to keep my kids away from them.  don't compare me to aids, cancer or any other deadly disease.  don't call me a lost person in the darkness or abyss or a dead person.  that's rather rude and insulting and i don't like it.  tells how little respect they give us.  that's why i don't want my diagoisis going public.

Thank you for your thoughtful response!

Moreover, I thank you for cherishing the differences and quirks that your son has, and understanding that autism has many positives. I wish more parents could share your philosophy.

~CGK

I am a newly registered participant, an NT mom with an HFA/Aspie son (12) and an NT son (10) who greatly benefits from his older brother's tolerance. I tried not to watch the Larry King episode; I have been visiting AFF for over a year now, and have learned a lot about Autism Speaks from your forums (as well as other sources). Thank you all for the insight you give me as a mom; in case I forget, you're there to remind me (well, often to spell it out, too!) to look at things from someone else (i.e., my son's) point of view.
The comments from the "doctor" and other so-called experts on Larry King made my skin crawl. I hate to hear his autism spectrum disorder defined as a curse or burden; the way I see it, there are a lot of things people wrestle with that present greater obstacles to connecting with the rest of humanity. We've had some amazing teachers working with us over the years who continually raise the bar and expectations; we all have high hopes, and I do think that negative publicity from Autism Speaks hurts our kids by casting it as an ailment.
Frankly, I never mourned for the "loss" of my son, never gnashed my teeth; he wasn't diagnosed until after he started elementary school, and since that time I've seen our struggle or challenge as helping other people understand him, and helping him learn the rules to get by in society, to achieve the things he wants to achieve (he has some pretty big goals). He is simply the best thing that ever happened to me. One of his teachers told me, "I've learned more from him than he's learned from me" -- and I feel the same way; I think that having him in my life has made me a better person, more compassionate, more willing to focus on the "real" person. I do know that it's made my routinely annoying NT son somehow a "model" student in our school, as someone who is able to work with a variety of kids with various personalities and help others show their gifts.
I also called or e-mailed all my friends an family and told them to run as fast as they can from Autism Speaks, CAN, etc. !

That episode was the finger that knocked over the row of dominoes for me & thats what made me join this site. I mean, some of the claims DO have some truth to them such as children being bullied & parents having to adjust to their kids needs, but that doesn't mean they're not healthy & happy.

btw, was that singer toni braxton?  i wonder if she'be been to japan, where eye contact is a no no.  usually when they make eye conact, it's not a good thing.  i think eye contact 100% of the time is overrated.  i tend to look at the overall face and body instead of just their eyes, becuase i get scared when looking at someone's eyes, more like the japaneese do.

and autism speaks and affiations are like the plague, speareding myths about autism and lobbying for our rights to go down the tubes, as well as us.  must avoid.