Aspies For Freedom

In my job I am expected to talk a lot in meetings. I don't understand why everyone talks so much. Our meetings are supposed to be composed of:

1. Presentation of issues
2. Questions pertaining to issues
3. Decisions regarding issues

But they all talk. They talk and talk and talk, and most of the time, they make stupid pointless long-winded statements that don't mean anything at all.

When I have a question to ask or a statement to make, I just say it. Half the time, as soon as I get my turn to speak, my mind goes blank and I can't get the words out... but when I don't go blank, I say my piece and then I'm done.

I think they could learn a lesson from me, but instead I am constantly criticized. Out of the ~15 people who sit at the table, four worked for years and years as classroom teachers. They seem to understand me. The rest of them think I am either shy or stupid or completely unaware of what's going on, and they constantly push me to speak up more.

It's nice that they want to know what I think, but if I have something to say then I'll damn well say it. I won't hold back. I never do.

I just needed to get that out.

Amen to that Solana.  Before I ever heard of AS, I was telling a friend of mine that work meetings annoy, frustrate and.. really weird me out.  Like I landed from some other planet.  I  listen to them take turns spouting the latest trendy jargon, just stringing buzz words together, but not SAYING anything.  There is no CONTENT in all that talking. And nobody seems to notice but me. They adore meetings. I theorize it is because that is time away from actual work. They seem to adore their buzz words and have a wonderful time getting a chance to say them. I wondered why they were all playing some sort of game, then I suddenly wondered if they didn't know they were in a game.  And, as you say, they talk talk talk. They have PRE-meetings to talk about future meetings. What the...? I was greatly relieved when the Dilbert cartoon came out. Whew. Dilbert prooves it is not just ME.

After the 5th meeting talking endlessly about something they wanted done, after the meeting i said to the boss "Look, just let me take care of building that computer system for you" A week later I had it done.  It was the only way to get out of endless meetings for everyone to discuss how to do it.  Sheesh!

My moments of problem solving brilliance at work are really just to get people to go away

I just found this article that supports your way as the right way Solana, and I agree. I keep a pad of paper to make notes to remind myself what I want to say. I think is they are filling the air with empty BS because they don't have a clue. They probably want you to talk more because they value your input and hope you'll rescue them from ignorance

http://www. 37signals .com/svn/archives2/buzzwords_say_all_the_wrong_things.php

You're dealing with a pack of monkeys, never forget that.  Monkeys jabber.

very succinct

(chuckle) I am imagining the 5 hour meeting they had scheduled for  today... sans chairs

The social aspect is generally considered as important as actually getting any work done. This takes many forms...

The birthday parties and the like that I could care less about but am made to feel that I have to participate in order to be a part of the (eek) team

And the most dreaded...

The around the room 'tell me about yourself' sessions when there are company visitors.

dear lord... I hate that more than anything. Especially because in an attempt to hear and understand what's going on in a group I try to sit near the leader, usually making me the first one to speak... I either say too much or not enough. Painful.

My last job I worked with a office full of ladies. The meeting were the worst. Especially since they mainly talked about nonsense politics in the little town. I lived in the next town over so it was completely irrevelant to me. Not that I'm really too hot about politics anyway.

Hmmm. So... its a verbal version of butt sniffing and other ritualistic pack behavior?

^_^ thats made my day,that one...

Hah. In meetings I get the giggles like some drunk schoolgirl. Then I tune out.

I find that there are a number of things I need to consider.

1. Keep my contribution's concise and avoid engaging in the Asperger tendency to "talk until I have finished my story";

2. To make some sort of contribution to ensure that I am seen to be actively participating. This could be by asking questions or asking for clarification.

3. Listening. I find it so easy to switch off when I have said my piece and not engage in the rest of the debate.

This can be very damaging. It sends the signal that I am indifferent to others. It also means that I sometimes miss important information; I then make a contribution which seems illogical and suggests that I have not been listening!

The key thing I have found is to try and relax and slow down. That means my participation and any contribution comes across as more measured.

Difficult I know but...............

I find that so hard, I do not suceed often. When I need to share something, I annoy people because they want me to "get to the point" but I have to tell the entire story in correct sequence. Sometimes it is because I think the story will be either ruined or that important details will be left out if I jump to the end. But also, I have a VERY hard time trying to summarize. I tell my friend that what I want to say is in sequential storage, not random access.

Solana

I think that this ia actually a big issue - its what you don't say that is pertinent and relates to the Asperger tendency to remain in "one's own world" and keep attendant thoughts likewise in it!

I have become conscious over time how detrimental this can be. It sends various messages to other parties: I am indifferent to you/and your conversation; I don't have anything worthwhile to say; I am unable to contribute anything from my (technical) job perspective (in what case why are you here?) and; perhaps most damaging, I am aloof and above this and - therefore - arrogant!

This then leads to misconceptions and other problems emanate from it.

I know that small talk is pointless to us but not to others.

Participation in meetings is eseential. One of the ways or tactics I have found useful is to ask questions about the subject in question. This exudes interest and others like it as it gives them the feeling that what they are saying/their expertise is important.

Solana hasn't been here in 2 months.

Why does everyone keep addressing her?