Aspies For Freedom

Personally councelling/ therapy has not worked for me. I think it may be good for resolving specific problems, like not being able to go into a supermarket or get on a bus, etc. I found no help in therapy because all the woman was doing was trying to get me to do things like join clubs or socialise and ignoring the fact I had no interest in these things. I think therapy is geared towards reintegrating people into society and so may not be suited generally to people with AS.

Also my Doctor has advised me to ignore typical anxiety and depression test results as they will be misleading for someone like me.

However I think it is good to talk to people as long as you come away from it feeling positive about yourself.

So if you weren't referring to "Computer Based Training", what does CBT mean in this context?

"Also my Doctor has advised me to ignore typical anxiety and depression test results as they will be misleading for someone like me."

I think there's a lot of truth in that -- some behaviors and feelings that could suggest depression/anxiety for an NT are perfectly normal behaviors for AS people. Therapists tend to approach everyone from an NT bias.

And Silky, if you thought CBT meant what I've heard it to (also) mean, you are a naughty little thing.

I agree with all of youse.

Therapy has been a complete waste of time and money for me, and I no longer see a point in getting it.  My last therapist gave me insults that really pissed me off; it is a shame that most therapists don't like to suggest the possibility of PDD to a patient.

And why should I waste more time and money?  Because of short term memory problems and executive dysfunction and also just plain oppositional defiance, about 5 minutes after the session, everything that was said is basically lost or denied.  It doesn't help much, except to relieve me of anxiety, in some cases.

I don't think it's any reason to smile and I hope there's no applicable subtext behind that, as these kinds of things make me shudder.

What about making notes for yourself during the sessions.  I find writing down what I am trying to work out is much more effective than just talking about it.  Then have sheets for reviewing and working on at home.
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I did also say oppositional defiance...

And then there's also the fact that advice geared for NTs, does not seem to work with me.

I've often got similar issues here and have tried to think how I would advise somebody if they came to me with similar issues. Not sure exactly what to advise but it is a helpful way to think.

I generally avoid giving advice to others. Sometimes I offer advice and it is usually rejected. I am not always sure why, but I suspect its because I either haven't fully understood or been given the full facts of the situation I am commenting on, or I am giving 'second hand' advice, by that I mean advice I have heard others give that sounded good to me. Rarely do people ever say 'thanks for the advice' and leave it at that, there is always a following rejection or put down. The exception is with travel plans, especially by road. I'm a qualified and skilled transport planner and so in this respect my advice is sourced and respected.

Often when I've been with a therapist I can feel them adjusting their technique to what I am saying. They never really understand though. Often I think that leaves someone like myself feeling worse rather than better because the feeling of being different is re-enforced.

Therapists can also be in a bit of a bind. If somebody comes to them with a problem, they probably don't wish to say they "don't know" an answer. That might make them look less than the experts they wish to be.

One neat way for them to get around this is to make suggestions or even give instructions for the patient to follow. If these are misunderstood or not carried out for some other reason, or the results are bad; the responsibility can then be placed back upon the patient.

They survive with their status intact but the client either blames themselves and feels even more in need of advice or becomes angry and stops going to see them. They can then say the patient is "in denial" or "didn't want to help themselves".

CBT has to be adjusted for Aspie individuals, that's for sure. Our "cognitions" (thoughts and reasoning) are different from an NT's in some ways, so an assumption a therapist can safely make with an NT might be just barely wrong for an Aspie--enough to cause complications in therapy. For example, a cognitive-behavioral therapist made the assumption that I hurt myself to deal with emotions I can't handle. This is true for most NTs with a self-injury problem. It's partly true for me, but there are other dimensions added with the AS: Self-injury also helps with overstimulation and frustration at unexpected or uncontrollable events. It's as though the AS picture is just a little bit "off" the NT norm, with different emphasis, extra problems, and strengths in some areas that many NTs don't have.

CBT is designed for people who have the ability to understand themselves, how they think, and how those thoughts affect their actions. The basic premise is that the therapist helps you to understand those things, and then you can use that understanding to change your thoughts, and then ultimately to change your actions. It's pretty good for anxiety, since a lot of anxiety problems have this "feedback loop" thing going on, where you automatically think something that makes you anxious, and the anxiety triggers the same thought, and then you get even more anxious... if you can understand how that's happening then you can learn to break the loop. Stuff like that. Control your thoughts, and you can control your actions.

CBT really does depend on the patient's involvement, though. A sufficiently determined patient can end up overcoming problems even with just a mediocre therapist; but even the best therapist in the world can't do a thing for you if you aren't willing to work pretty darn hard. (I highly recommend asking about antidepressant therapy if you are undergoing CBT for depression, since depression often undermines the very motivation you need to work on the thoughts which keep you stuck in the cycle of depression.)

Good for you. Just provided you can realise that we are not all at this stage of enlightenment just yet. We have to find our solutions in our own time and maybe people such as Batman55 and me are still struggling to understand how we think and not quite ready for any CBT.

But I found that most people I saw had the attitude "you're wrong and I'm right". What makes them the authority on what is right?

Yeah, that's a real problem I have, especially since I tend to get very Oppositional Defiant, quite often.

I also get very frightened and if told I am wrong, get too scared to go back to them. The main issue with my going to anybody right now though, is not being able to afford to see a good therapist. It is so expensive.

Probably not - they are very rare in Australia.