Aspies For Freedom

Hi,

I am Mom to almost 6yr old getting ready for 1st grade in the fall. He will be finishing at his Montessori school where he has been for past 2+ yrs. You can read about him in the other thread titled Mom Needs Help Raising 6yr old.

I would like to hear from Aspies as to what advice you would give on the best school setting for a young Aspie. Here is what I'm deciding on:

(1) Montessori (free, charter) that goes up to 8th grade. He would be with 32  6-9 year olds in a very large classroom (it's like the size of three classrooms) with one lead teacher, and one co-teacher. In Montessori, the kids go at their own pace, and do individual work.  They are allowed to explore the classroom and work uninterrupted. They can work sitting on the floor on a rug or at a small desk. They have required daily stuff in math, reading, journal and something else I can't remember. They also do some small group lessons as well as "circle time" stuff.  This is a mixed age classroom, the philosophy being that it is more "normal" to have a mixture of older and younger kids because that's how society/family/community is.  Because it's a charter school, he would be able to get an IEP with services such as speech, etc. He would get gifted work as well.  Multi-sensory learning materials. Understand that children learn differently and respect it.

(2) Public school. 32 1st graders with one teacher. Good special needs program and gifted program.  He would get "pulled out" for these special things. He would get social skills training; speech; and advanced work. Safest route in some ways because they are experienced in special needs.

(3) Twice Exceptional Gifted with Disability self contained classroom with children who tested as Gifted but also have something like Aspergers, ADHD, etc. Would interact with the Neurotyps for recess, lunch, art, music, etc but in a self contained classroom called Uniquely Gifted. Very small class size of 12-15 kids maximum and 2-4 teachers.

Please let me know what you think of these choices and if you could do school over again, where would you want your Mother to send you!!!?? Thanks!!!

Thank you Chameleon and DWAMom for your thoughtful replies. You both have very great points and I really appreciate it.

The kind of school that suspended less mature kids who gave others a hard time.  
Also, dedicated to the college track, voluntary to join, would weed out those who didn't like school period.

If schools don't teach kids about zero tolerance for abusing one's peers, the kids are in for a shock when they come work in places like where I work.  

"But he IS a nerd"
"Yes, if you mean poor motor coordination, academic ability and strong interests, or your popular culture, but he works hard and gets along.  Come see us again when you grow up.  Bye!"

"Back home again, son?  We talked about respecting your peers...."

I wish I could have gone to a school for gifted children or a Steiner school.

If I could go back and do the childhood-schooling thing over again, I would want to be homeschooled.  When I have children, I hope to either have them be either homeschooled or in some sort of small, private, non-traditional school where they can pursue their own interests at their own pace.  Of the options you listed, I would recommend either of the private schools, but not the public school.

Anything but Public School...  Below is what I posted over on WP a couple of weeks ago...  The link below to a newspaper article is still active...

Sudbury Schools...

....Not for everyone. My partner told me of a story that depicted an obsessed kid who was only interested in one subject: “Fly fishing" of all things, attending a Sudbury school.

By learning all the aspects of this subject required him to methodically investigate. By reading, math, writing. (the three “R’s”) sort of learned as he went. Educators at a Sudbury allowed him to pursue his subject in anyway the student wanted.

Postscript was: The student is now independently wealthy. Eventually got into writing computer software and sold it off to a conglomerate.  So my bride says... I need to investigate further. (Can I go back to School?....wishful thinking) got kids to get through it first....

I think AS/Aut types should design thier own Sudbury School

Here’s the article if you are interested. Perhaps the topic of another Thread...

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/lo...ed01m.html

Send me back to school...

Im reading this with interest.
My son is 7 and since he first started schooling in the UK he has been having problems- the first school was a state school and within the first term his teacher was so harsh with him to the extent that he started wetting himself again she even diagnosed him within the first term as being "totally special needs" this was said without thought, without compassion and right in front of my 4.5 yr old boy - who I would have classed at the time as VERY sensitive, very gifted with language and speech (although totally disiniterested in writing or reading himself) and anyway his grandparents said they would pay for his education and we sent him to a tiny little school aged 0-18 with only 140 in the whole school....
However recently his behaviour has gotten a little hard to cope with, he tells me that he is "thick" and "stupid" he appears to be very depressed... he still wont sleep in his own room and is in with me every night and often will not sleep until I lay down and sleep ... I asked his teacher for her opinions and she suggested getting him assessed.. this is because he is displaying some behaviours such as eating his clothes... or sucking on them, hand twiddling, slow learning, "stubborn" and "inconsolable" behaviours when they have tried to move his desk by 3 inches to the right... not settling....
Now I have agreed that perhaps he does need to be assessed, his teacher feels there are a few things going on for him, sort of bandying about Aspergers, Dyslexia, ADD, petit mal etc
and I would tend to agree that there does seem to be something but Im frightened that by having his assessed and effectively "labelled" that things might get even worse for him but on the other hand it would really help with the people in his life that think im too "soft" with him or even worse that he is a "naughty" child...
The schooling thing just lately I have wished I could set up my own school where children who dont find the social mold can come and learn in a way that is suitable to their needs and not to the UKs standard testing measures (I feel the majority are kidding themselves anyway because lets face it what does anyone learn from being able to give correct answers on matters that are totally useless in life anyway!!!) Sorry little rant about UK testing measures there...
Im not sure what sort of school is best for my little boy, Im going to come back and check this thread when he has been through the process of assessment- and you know what whatever is "decided" at assessment, He is still my Sam, he is still my highly sensitve and wonderful son who appears only to be "naughty" or "challenging" when he is being made to do something or to conform with something that he assesses to be totally useless to him... give him a trip to the zoo, or a biology lesson in the garden and his learning capacity is genius!!! Whoever said that sit down learning from a blackboard was the right way to learn?
Grr sorry for my rant, Im a little emotional right now.

Hi, I'm sorry your little guy is so stressed.

I would strongly urge you to get him assessed so he can get the special accomodations so his self-esteem doesn't suffer further. I'm not sure what legal rights you have in the UK. I wouldn't worry about the label because here in the U.S. the label gets you services, help and basically they have to make accomodations for your son so he gets an education and social skills training. For example, he might need an Aide in the classroom to "shadow" him. Over time, he may not need the Aide.

Or perhaps they have a self=contained classroom (special needs) that have teachers qualified to work with special needs students.

Is he doing speech therapy/language therapy now to work on pragmatics (social use of language)? How about Social skills? I would recommend some great DVDs from modelmekids.com
These are great because our kids learn visually and have great memories, so these DVDs show school-age kids interacting. How to do lots of things from greeting someone, eye contact, responding to questions so others don't think you're rude or ignoring them to be mean, how to stand in line, take turns, be told no and how to handle it. These DVDs are designed specificially for children on the spectrum. They are really great!!! They could benefit ANY child, Neurotypical or not, but our kids are fast learners ----- they just need the right format to present these concepts.

Check into that.....if he can get his social skills up a bit, he may not encounter so many problems. These videos might help. Modelmekids.com

Also, FYI to anyone reading this, modelmekids.com has social skills DVDs for adolescents and adults as well.

And no, I don't work for them!!!

I know it's hard when others just look at the difficult behaviors and not the whole child; but the fact is (in my opinion) is that he needs to master SOME social skills and coping skills, develop more flexible thinking, so that teachers don't focus on the negatives. You know what I mean?  

I hope this helps.