Hi,
I am Mom to almost 6yr old getting ready for 1st grade in the fall. He will be finishing at his Montessori school where he has been for past 2+ yrs. You can read about him in the other thread titled Mom Needs Help Raising 6yr old.
I would like to hear from Aspies as to what advice you would give on the best school setting for a young Aspie. Here is what I'm deciding on:
(1) Montessori (free, charter) that goes up to 8th grade. He would be with 32 6-9 year olds in a very large classroom (it's like the size of three classrooms) with one lead teacher, and one co-teacher. In Montessori, the kids go at their own pace, and do individual work. They are allowed to explore the classroom and work uninterrupted. They can work sitting on the floor on a rug or at a small desk. They have required daily stuff in math, reading, journal and something else I can't remember. They also do some small group lessons as well as "circle time" stuff. This is a mixed age classroom, the philosophy being that it is more "normal" to have a mixture of older and younger kids because that's how society/family/community is. Because it's a charter school, he would be able to get an IEP with services such as speech, etc. He would get gifted work as well. Multi-sensory learning materials. Understand that children learn differently and respect it.
(2) Public school. 32 1st graders with one teacher. Good special needs program and gifted program. He would get "pulled out" for these special things. He would get social skills training; speech; and advanced work. Safest route in some ways because they are experienced in special needs.
(3) Twice Exceptional Gifted with Disability self contained classroom with children who tested as Gifted but also have something like Aspergers, ADHD, etc. Would interact with the Neurotyps for recess, lunch, art, music, etc but in a self contained classroom called Uniquely Gifted. Very small class size of 12-15 kids maximum and 2-4 teachers.
Please let me know what you think of these choices and if you could do school over again, where would you want your Mother to send you!!!??
Thanks!!!
Most people I know who went to public elementary & middle school, whether neurotypical, aspie, autistic, ADHD, whatever, do not have fond memories of it. I remember being overwhelmed by the large number of other kids, being expected to do assignments in the same way and at exactly the same pace as everybody else. Conformity was definitely a value. Even the children who got pulled out of class for the "Gifted/Talented" program were embarassed to tell their friends where they were going for fear of being singled out. I was in a classroom for autistic kids for about 1/4 to 1/2 of the school day, so I was occasionally picked on outright and usually ignored and excluded from everybody else's games at recess.
Of course, the public school you're considering for your son may be very different from the one I attended. This has just been my experience.
I don't know much about Montessori schools, but I have a friend who went to one when she was younger. She really liked the small size, the personal attention, the flexibility of the programs that allowed her to learn things she wanted to learn about at her own pace.
I can't say anything about the third option.
Have you asked your son what he wants?
I would just want a school that had a quiet place where I could eat or read alone.
I went to regular school and no special classes or help.
I would find Montessori distracting. I can not tolerate too much noise around me with people all doing different things and talking at once. It might be enriching but environmental factors such as lighting, noise levels, personal space are important to me.
I wish I had been allowed to stay in the special education school (for kids with visual and motor difficulties) I went to kindergarten in. But I was there as a "neighbourhood kid" and alas I wasn't able to stay
Montessori sounds fantastic, but it would depend on how disruptive other kids there are. I would have probably loved this type of school, as long as there weren't any kids in the class who are too loud or intrusive.
Actually having read up on Montessori, I guess a lot of the sensory stuff is exactly what we had in the special ed kindergarten
For myself I would have picked option 3. But my sister is a teacher, and when she was learning about Montessori schools she told me they sound wonderful...
<hugs>
I liked my infant/junior schools. I did not liek my high school much. It was not the best one in Blackpool and some of the courses I wanted to do at GCSE ie media studies, religious education and integrated humaities were not run because there was only 6 or 7 people interested in taking them. Instead I had to do history and graphic communication ie courses that I did not want to do.
I think school should teach kids english, maths, science and IT and then let them pick what they want after that. As it stood our school options were limited by what resources amnd teaching staff they had.
I can't answer the question as an Aspie, since I am not really one myself. I found it interesting to read the variety of responses, however, and to consider how those answers fit in with my son's educational experience.
My son is in a "normal" school, and it was actually the school that had him evaluated for Aspergers. It is a rather small school and classroom size in the lower grades is limited to 20. He had an excellent year with a highly structured teacher who was also able to understand his quirks, and freely adapted his homework when she knew it would be stressful for him. But, to my surprise, he also had an excellent year with a highly unstructured teacher who is most likely Aspie himself, and who shared many, many interests with my son. So, even though the classroom environment was overly distracting, my son was often inspired simply by what was being taught and especially the way it was taught.
In the end, this is going to come down to "know your child." What his sensory sensitivities are, what inpsires him, how he responds to structure, etc.
It will also be important to see what types of kids are at each, and what types of values they hold. That may sound wierd, but school communities can have different values, and some create a better environment for unique children than others. Our school, for example, is very big on "accept everyone as they are," which is a really sweet environment for a child like mine. Sure, there are kids who are kids and aren't nice to him, but the whole community from other kids, the teachers, and up to the parents will all side against the child isn't being so nice and with the child who is unique. Our school is also very big on "doing your best" as v. acheiving any specific acedemic goal which, again, has been nice for a child like mine who is way ahead in math but struggling in language arts. The kids really understand that there are different forms of intelligence, and that all have merit.
So ....
I recommend visiting the schools with your son. Obseve carefully how he reacts to each. Talk with him about his feelings.
You'll be surprised how insightful young children can be into their own needs. Really surprised.
Hi,
I am Mom to almost 6yr old getting ready for 1st grade in the fall. He will be finishing at his Montessori school where he has been for past 2+ yrs. You can read about him in the other thread titled Mom Needs Help Raising 6yr old.
I would like to hear from Aspies as to what advice you would give on the best school setting for a young Aspie. Here is what I'm deciding on:
(1) Montessori (free, charter) that goes up to 8th grade. He would be with 32 6-9 year olds in a very large classroom (it's like the size of three classrooms) with one lead teacher, and one co-teacher. In Montessori, the kids go at their own pace, and do individual work. They are allowed to explore the classroom and work uninterrupted. They can work sitting on the floor on a rug or at a small desk. They have required daily stuff in math, reading, journal and something else I can't remember. They also do some small group lessons as well as "circle time" stuff. This is a mixed age classroom, the philosophy being that it is more "normal" to have a mixture of older and younger kids because that's how society/family/community is. Because it's a charter school, he would be able to get an IEP with services such as speech, etc. He would get gifted work as well. Multi-sensory learning materials. Understand that children learn differently and respect it.
(2) Public school. 32 1st graders with one teacher. Good special needs program and gifted program. He would get "pulled out" for these special things. He would get social skills training; speech; and advanced work. Safest route in some ways because they are experienced in special needs.
(3) Twice Exceptional Gifted with Disability self contained classroom with children who tested as Gifted but also have something like Aspergers, ADHD, etc. Would interact with the Neurotyps for recess, lunch, art, music, etc but in a self contained classroom called Uniquely Gifted. Very small class size of 12-15 kids maximum and 2-4 teachers.
Please let me know what you think of these choices and if you could do school over again, where would you want your Mother to send you!!!??
Thanks!!!
Most people I know who went to public elementary & middle school, whether neurotypical, aspie, autistic, ADHD, whatever, do not have fond memories of it. I remember being overwhelmed by the large number of other kids, being expected to do assignments in the same way and at exactly the same pace as everybody else. Conformity was definitely a value. Even the children who got pulled out of class for the "Gifted/Talented" program were embarassed to tell their friends where they were going for fear of being singled out. I was in a classroom for autistic kids for about 1/4 to 1/2 of the school day, so I was occasionally picked on outright and usually ignored and excluded from everybody else's games at recess.
Of course, the public school you're considering for your son may be very different from the one I attended. This has just been my experience.
I don't know much about Montessori schools, but I have a friend who went to one when she was younger. She really liked the small size, the personal attention, the flexibility of the programs that allowed her to learn things she wanted to learn about at her own pace.
I can't say anything about the third option.
Have you asked your son what he wants?
I also went to public school for most of my education, and even though I didn't say why I was being pulled out of class, which was speech therapy, I was bullied anyway because I was the only student leaving class for a while every week. The bullying only stopped when my family moved at the end of the 7th grade, things got better after that. This is only my experience, before people realized that bullying is not just a "fact of life."
I'd have liked to attend a private, religious school. I would have been bullied whereever I was; home was worse than school in that respect. So I would choose the place which provided the best education possible, without isolating me at home with no resources should my physical safety ever be endangered.
I wish I'd gone to a private one at a huge Georgian building with posh old tories in charge.
No, really.
As it turned out, I've had 12 years of half-arsed state education, but that's a rant for another thread. :|
I don't know much about the American school system, but the first option sounds like something I would have liked to have experienced.
What about home schooling? Public education and daycare are unnatural.
I believe it is normal for kids to go to school and be around other children so they can play out, do sports and also so that they don't go into a group scenario later in life such as college, university or even work, and fel overwhelmed by it.
What about home schooling? Public education and daycare are unnatural.
Life is unnatural.
I personally don't think homeschooling is a good idea, even if we don't want to scoialise we have to learn to tolerate.
I attended a small Jewish school for my early years. It was tough, private and strict and it was good for me. Bullying was dealt with swiftly with physical punishment (ironic!) and it worked.
In retrospect, I wonder if a Steiner school would have been better. Have you explored that option?
What about home schooling? Public education and daycare are unnatural.
Life is unnatural.
I personally don't think homeschooling is a good idea, even if we don't want to socialise we have to learn to tolerate.
I can't see why we can't learn these things at home.