not to sound like a jerk, but if i were his big sister i'd tell him "dont do that you look like a baby, people want to be friends with big kids" or "stop doing that you look like a loser and no one will want to be your friend". Also to be faire, i would introduce the concept of autism in his life so he wont have a big surprise when he gets diagnosed. Well i would've liked to have known early on so i could like..improve socially I guess.
I also cant speak well, espcially in like a soccer game, I have all thses amazing plans but I dont have the language skills to complete them. I end up making a bunch of wierd noises and flail my arms wildly to get their attention, my most used one is "suis"(like the french word) I use it to yell out commands and answer yes or no questions.
well i say stuff like this to my little sister when absolutly nessesary. Like on time she wore capris with her socks all the way pulled up and these shoes with really dorky laces. I was like "OMG!!! MICHELLE! STUPID WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE IN THAT?!" i mostly yelled at mom for letting her wear that. I proceeded to buy her some slammin new kicks, which i wear too cause she is so big we can share shoes and stuff.
I know that in the US you can get tested and diagnosis through the public schools... the quality of which would depend on your school system. You could also talk to your doctor who might be able to send you to a specialist.
My 4YO has a similar "over-reaction" to situations like that and bursts into tears over any small confrontation. I'm not sure if that's necessarily and aspie trait myself. (I'm newly self-diagnosed and trying to avoid my microscoping my children for right now...) But as soon as the actual pressure is off and she can think through what happens she bounces back fine. I usually try to talk to her about what had happened (it usually seems to be when another kid "tells" on her for meaningless faults, as kids do...) and that kids tell on each other all the time so its really not such a big thing. Can't say it actually helps anything though... when she's past it she's past it until it comes up again...
trust me, it may hurt his feelings now but he WILL thank you in the future. Well I would've if my parents told me stuff like that.
does he like rules if so crate a rule about it like" if the person wont give it back find some thing else to do.period."then if he takes to it make sure you tell him your proud of him eather when you get home or after a bit.That alone should be enough to try it again.
not to sound like a jerk, but if i were his big sister i'd tell him "dont do that you look like a baby, people want to be friends with big kids" or "stop doing that you look like a loser and no one will want to be your friend".
Uh, gee that's a bit intolerant coming from someone who is supposed to be on the Spectrum themselves... "Threats" like those often have little effect on people on the Spectrum anyway.
When I was younger if something happened, which was something that I didn't expect and I didn't know how to handle, I sort of got a bit overwhelmed. My primary coping responce was to get overly angry, but since that rarely solved anything and mostly just made things worse, it made the situation totally confusing and it made me feel like everything was getting totally out of hand because things weren't happening in a way I could deal with. In the end I would just start crying because everything seemed too much.
Anyway I think if you taught him how to deal with unexpected situations or situations where he feels like he is losing control of what is happenening it might make him feel more in control when such a situation does arise so everything won't seem so overwhelming.
Sorry if this is totally irrelevant or poor advice.
I used to panic wildly over small things too. I didn't speak much, and when I did speak I spoke so quietly as to be nearly or completely inaudible. I also didn't speak very clearly. People rarely heard me or understood the things I said.
As a result, when I met someone new and they asked me my name or some other basic question, I panicked. I froze. I stood or sat there completely mute. In my mind I was screaming and crying.
Then they would ask me to speak up, or they'd shout, or look at me with their eyes wide, and I didn't know what to do. I know now that I was just standing there, but I remember wondering why they couldn't understand that I was in panic mode. I used to think things at people a lot, and they often saw me as unresponsive or noncommunicative.
I don't know if that offers any insight.
I think it's less about teaching him how to deal with the actual individual changes (because you can't prepare for everything) but getting him used to small changes, and showing him strategies on how to cope/relax/review etc.
PECS and similar systems have been used in more verbal kids as well, otherwise if he is more someone who responds to verbal instructions look up "social stories" (I don't think they'd work for me personally but they are meant to work well with AS kids).
not to sound like a jerk, but if i were his big sister i'd tell him "dont do that you look like a baby, people want to be friends with big kids" or "stop doing that you look like a loser and no one will want to be your friend".
You don't sound like a jerk, you sound like a total s---head. Why heap abuse onto him ON TOP OF the abuse that others give him?
Teach him the ten deep breaths and think method.
Basically before giving any reactions to take ten deep breaths and think that his first reaction is not neccessarily the right perception of what happened. Of course he might not need ten, but the counting and breathing helps to calm anger
God dammit, I knew someone would eat my face off! and i even said "not to sound like a jerk" because I dont know how to say it in english well. Seriously though every god damn time I post someone has to eat my face off, someone else can post the exact same thing and no one will care, but oh no, if i write it I have to get my face eaten off. And btw im not on the spectrum (well i guess i would be if you consider ADHD part of the spectrum) and btw it's not a threat, it's merely a very very true statement. If i didnt have my two older sisters to tell me stuff like this i'd be alot worse off the than I am now.
And when you say things like I suggested i mean, thats not the only things you say to your little sibling. You are also nice to them and do cool stuff with them, and older siblings are NEVER just purely nice, it's nessesary that they say things like this to ensure a happy life for their little sibling. Sure I hated it then, but now Im so freaken glad they did. It's called tough love, and you dont have to say loser or baby, it was just an example OMFG!!! but they are the most fitting in this case.
And thats really dumb calling someone a shithead before you get to know them. I happen to be one of the nicest(in a tough love way) and most loyal friend I know, even when my friends arnt the same for me. But I always stick by their side until it's nessesary that I find new friends. And I always try my hardest in school and I play my heart out in every single god damn game, And you know what?! I NEVER get a sub, I play the whole game everygame and I never complain. Does that sound like a shithead person to you?! no it shouldnt. Im not perfect but Im above a shithead.
And i may be mistaken (tell me if I am, and im sorry) but Dogbrain, you happen to eat my face off the most, layoff.
sorry...my day was frusterating and im venting. Everyday I go without killing myself (which happens to be a big accomplishment for me) and I give it my all, and then have someone call me a shithead. I mean god.... Im saying sorry for saying loser and baby, I expect an apology too.
I had a coworker who had a year old baby one time. While it may sound deemening or the like, she compared raising her daughter and teaching her to be like training a dog.
Maybe try 'training' your son to become better suited to social enviroments, with positive reinforcement. During this time you can teach him about what others have said.
As he grows I would think talking with him more and more will help him communicate better. Make him more comfortable with talking with other people. Personally I wish my parents had done this with me as I even have a hard time talking to them, even if it's just with something that i'm really into.
Also, like others said, I wish I was told about my AS sooner then later. I only found out when I was 14, even then I was in denail about it. So talking with your son about having a form of autism will help him cope with himself later in life. Despite being in denail it did help me better understand who I was then, it expained a lot about myself. And I would refrain from making his autism sound like it's negative, if he gets that impression I think he'll have a cloud hanging over his head until he comes to terms with himself. For me, like i've said in another post, it's that it's my autistic nature that makes me special, makes me who I am.
Take this as it is, I don't have any kids, just stuff I think I would have benefited from when I was younger.
Welcome, MomMagnus!
In some part, the issue may be developmental. Not to say you don't try to teach your son ideas on how to diffuse it, but sometimes it's trial and error or a phase that simply needs to be waded through.
As for ruling Aspergers out because your child seems social, I have to say that if your child is relatively light Aspergers, like mine is, it is almost impossible to tell at certain young ages, where being self-centered and having difficulty responding to social cues is rather common. My son was and always will be attracted to social situations; in many ways you could say he is a sensory seeker in that area. But he is one of those people who overwhelms others. He invades their space, he talks too much, etc. He doesn't "get" that someone else may not like it, and he is completely oblivious to the clues they send him. Aspergers was a difficult diagnosis for the experts to make, but what it comes down to, in the end, is that my son thinks like an Aspie. The longer we sit with this diagnosis the more we know it is true.
So, as your child's differences become more apparent, you might want to work on a new evaluation. Particularly if there is something to be gained at school by doing so. My son gets all sorts of accomodations he would never have gotten without the Aspergers label, and those accomodations are extremely important to his happiness and success at school.
I need to run. I'm a bit fuzzy today, but I wanted to wish you luck.