Aspies For Freedom

Howdy, I'm Meyou, 22 year old British guy, and as far as I know, My brain is typical of 22 year old guys.

Unfortunately, during a shift at my job, one of my colleages told me he thought I had Aspergers, and now I cant get that thought out of my head! I looked it up on Wikipedia (Not sure if thats the most reliable of places to look) and reading through it just made me even more convinced he was right, so I tried out the first two tests in this topic and scored a 26 and a 40.

So now I'm confused. Should I go to a Doc/Shrink and get examined, or do I even want to? I'm not even sure if knowing would make any difference, because I feel like my brain has been broken now!

Also, should I hurt my colleague for putting such an idea in my head? I'm sure he deserves it!

I'm sure you don't realize this, but your negative reaction to the possibility of being an aspie is a little bit insulting to some of us here...

I understand the confusion, having recently been in a similar place myself--only without the luxury of a co-worker to blame it on.  You should continue to look into it, I think.  Maybe you could tell us a little more about your aspie traits?

Agh. Didn't mean to insult anybody, sorry. I'm just worried that people at my jobs will label me different and plot against me.

Traits, ah...

I'm totally obsessed with one thing. Paintball, whether it be playing, marshalling, or sitting on the gun rack tinkering with peoples guns to fix them. I daydream about it, Whenever I talk, it usually involves Paintball, my house is full of Paintball equipment, and when I'm online, I hang around Paintball forums.

I take things people say as fact, even if they're joking, and have a unique (And annoying) way of insulting people by accident (The most recent of which being that I said my dayjob manager looked good for 50, when she was in fact only 33) And then I dig myself in further because I never seem to realize I've insulted them.

I can't stand customer service jobs, or dealing with members of the public and having to be nice to them, which is one of the perks to my weekend job of Paintball Marshalling - Everyones got goggles on, so I think of them as just players instead of people. Makes it much easier to talk to a goggle than to a person.

My abilities to recognize somebody suck hugely. I totally bypassed my bud Antony a while back because I didn't recognize him, although I do have a good memory for what clothing/equipment/gun people have. And beards make it easier.

Handwriting is horrible. I cant stand writing things by hand, and if I need to give a letter or something similar to somebody, I'll type it up to avoid the embarracement over my "5 year old scribble"

Rampantly click my fingers. Ankles too.

When stripping my guns, the screws all get nicely lined up and the gun comes apart in a specific order. When stripping rental guns, they come apart also in a specific order contrary to the way the Manager has shown me because my way is...uhm...easier.

I was awesome at Maths as a kid, but repeatedly avoided going to school because I hated it there and the other kids were mean.

I hate talking to people, and try to get it over with as fast as possible. People oftenlaugh at me when I'm talking, which doesn't make it easier.

Waaaay too easily distracted, bored, daydreamy, or irritated by the smallest of things.

I think thats it for now. Oh, and I took the Aspie Quiz between posts and scored 170. Does that count as a Trait?

I had a similar reaction when I realised I might have it but it would be good to have some closure over why I feel so abnormal.

Hi Meyou!

I personally think Asperger's is more of a distinct and unusual personality type than a syndrome. Whether or not you have Asperger's, I don't think your brain is broken. "Aspies" choose to deal with the world in an unusual way, and sometimes other people- like your colleague- think it's weird. (That's too bad for them!)

Asperger's Syndrome is kind of the Flavour of the Month- anyone who is a bit odd is being labelled with it these days. I doubt there is any reason for you to run out and get a diagnosis even if you're sure you have it. However, if you are interested in getting to know other people like yourself, who have or think they might have it, then you might find some value in hanging out at these forums for a while. Like Stubbsk said, some of us feel confused and "broken" when we realize we might have it, but it's good to have some closure over why we've always felt so abnormal.

P.S. I was really good at languages in school, but I missed a lot of school days because kids were mean to me too.

Plus about school, I had very poor attendance, I hated the place, I was picked on slightly but nothing really bad.

I don't know if I should follow up and try getting a diagnosis or not. Sure there's the help from government benefits but to be diagnosed with a type of personality feels odd, I would have thought personality traits could not be generalised enough. Being able to explain to NT's and give them a box to put me in would save me a tonne of hassle.

I got bullied pretty bad in school because I was weird. Hated every second of it.

Had a nice little drive with my mother just now in which I told her about my suspicions, which she laughed off and told me I was blowing everything way out of proportion. Doesn't make me feel any better, just wanting to curl up with my laptop and listen to some Metal at excessively loud volumes so I can tune out the world.

I'll definitely hang around here, probably lurking around and reading topics and stuff, trying to figure out if I do have Aspergers or if I'm simply making stuff up in my head to explain my life.

Not too concerned with the gov benefits. I have two comfortable jobs which pay me quite a bit.

Thanks for the responses, I feel even more confused, but I also feel like I have people to turn to now.

It's a feeling of being invaded and I think this is a very common feeling among aspies and not just about when people come up and say you have something you didn't knew you had. Information hits us like random gun fire and if it's something entirely different from what we thought before, or has something to do with ourselves, it hits us on all levels and it's just horrible...

I have no idea how to respond to that. I mean, I feel you're right...I just, ah, dont know. I think you're right.

The random gunfire thing...Its like, all my life I've been running towards a certain goal, like the flag in a game of paintball, knowing for certain that there's no way that it can be any different, I will get there, and SPLAT! A random hit on my noggin spins me 180 and throws me completely off! Leaving me on the floor dazed and confuzzled with no clue what to do next. I just hope I can pick myself up in time to play the next game. If that makes any sense.

CLASSIC. Yup, sounds just like me.

Ahhh. The goggles. Do you find eye contact troubling?

Yup. Sometimes I wish they'd pass a law requiring people not to change hairstyle/makeup style/etc.

Hate havoing someone pass me on the street, great me by name, and I have NO IDEA who they are becasue they changed their hairstyle, have their glasses off, sahved their mustache, or soemthing.

Or worse yet - starting a converstaion with someone only to realize halfway in you are not speaking to whom you thought you were?
Ever had that happen?

yup. Me too. But oddly enough, I DO have what most folks call "good manual dexterity" can manipulate very small things with my fingers no problem.

Yup. Check. Got that one too.

Sounds familiar...

I SUCKED at math. But I can program computers fine...
Math dept at my high school was baffled by that fact... (computer sci dept was part of the math dept)

Uh huh.

Sounds as if you may have asperger's. <G>

I was always great at maths in primary school but then it went downhill, I still got a B i my GCSE but that was because my coursework was an A*.

I made my Maths teacher freak by taking a 5 month break from school just before my GCSE's. She decided to lower me to the secondary paper, meaning the most I could get was a C, which is what I got. Soon after she admitted that if she had put me in for the regular paper, I'd have gotten an A-star, and was overly apologetic.

Eye to eye contact varies. People I know well, I can manage....but random people, I generally just look past, keeping my head in their general direction so they dont get pissed off and think I aint listening. But I still get a bit....itchy. Or in rare occasions, I stare at their chest. If its bouncey enough.

I once started a convo with a random punter thinking they were somebody else. They got baffled the moment I mentioned bore sizes, and then I felt really embarraced when I saw the dude I was looking for.

I do have pretty good dexterity, possibly because I've grown acustomed to having to use a double trigger, left handed and right, without dropping the gun and reloading at the same time. Gets annoying sometimes as I've barely tossed a pot before my IR3 has chewed through them and I need to grab another.

One thing contrary to all the info I can find on Aspergers is that I can lie rather easily. I'll tell somebody I'm off to work at the field, then I'll go there and rip a couple thousand rounds at my mates instead. All three of them...and I'm not sure if one of them likes me.

I only bothered with a diagnosis for the sake of domestic harmony.  Funny thing is that, once the professionals said that I had Asperger's, and I sent the Mrs. to sites like "Getting the Truth Out", she really did change how she treated me.  No, she doesn't treat me like I'm damaged goods.  If anything, she's treating me as far more human than she had before.  I actually get a little consideration.

Domestic Harmony sounds good...wish I had that. Folks have now decided that I'm just making stuff up to have a "Bee in my Bonnet" or some gibberish like that, and that its all just a selfish cry for attention. Makes me want to visit a Doc in the hopes of getting a nice peice of paper to slap in their faces and shut them up

*Grumpy Meyou*