personal information about yourself or other people?
Sometimes people will tell me that I give out too much information about myself or other people. Sometimes people also tell me that I ask the wrong questions, too personal. It's rude. So then why do people ask me those personal questions?
What are rules about what is too personal?
I'm honest but I don't go around telling people what I think of them like going up to someone and telling them they are fat and ugly and other negative things without them asking for my opinion of what I think of 'em. I don't say negative thigns without being asked what I think like asking me what I think of their dress or what they have on or their new hair color or cut.
I'm a bit blunter than when I was a child but find it really hard to tell someone that their behaviour is annoying me.
The term "white lie" is always used by parents in defense of their own lying; ARGH! That's the worst of all lies. I try not to lie and sometimes I just withhold information saying that I don't know or can't say exactly.
It seems i am a bit different i have always been able to lie.
From a performance appraisal I received today:
"Energeia could also benefit from being more politic as
she is in a leadership role and what she says, where she says it and who
she says it to has a big impact."
I get these occasional emails from our HR director admonishing me about stuff that I've said. It would probably not be politic of me, though, to introduce her to the concept of aspie honesty
my mosted hated subject"honesty", the one thing in my life that has gained me the title of"rude","cruel" and "hateful" more than any other thing. i never have been able to figure out the "limits" on how honest im supposed to be or whats"to much information". i mean parents tell you stuff like"always be honest" and "honesty is the best policy" yet, when it comes down to it, its not true! they only want you be honest to a limit, then they want you lie. i swear NTs are so annoying to deal with.(course they probably see me the same way)
I don't really have a problem telling lies and while I obviously don't go out of my way to deceive people I have fairly often said something that's untrue if I feel it puts me in a better position eg. telling my mum that I've been revising for my exams when I haven't. I remember when I was 5 or 6 I used to tell my parents ridiculous stories about what other children at my school were supposed to have done although I can't think why I did that apart from maybe that I thought it was funny.
If someone asks me my opinion of something I usually think carefully about what to say and try to avoid anything that might upset them (I don't know whether that's a natural reaction or simply because I know/have learned what is and isn't socially appropriate). However I behave differently when it's a member of my family who I know really well and in that case I feel much more comfortable about being honest in what I say.
personal information about yourself or other people?
Sometimes people will tell me that I give out too much information about myself or other people. Sometimes people also tell me that I ask the wrong questions, too personal. It's rude. So then why do people ask me those personal questions?
What are rules about what is too personal?
Just remember that other people don't have to give away personal information to you, but neither do you have to give away personal info to other people. You have just as much right to say, "Excuse me, I don't want to answer that question" as anyone else. (Within context, of course.)
Did I make sense?
I only lie when the truth would make me have a meltdown.
I never lie about my opinion, which frustrates people a great deal. I've decided, "Too bad. I'm not doing anything wrong." But, I can lie easily to hide personal information.
I have learned from 70 years with this condition that most people don't really care about my personal life and those that do, I am very suspicious of. I guess that is just part of Aspergers. I have tried to make friends by sharing a little information, but it has never done any good. A few years ago one person became a quite close friend but they I said something wrong and he has not spoken to me since.
Yes, it seems to take so much effort to make friends and then it can all be destroyed so easily. They can't have been a true friend though.
I often am embarrassingly h onest. I can think of two reasons/circumstances when this occurs.: I enjoy seeign their reactions when someone actually gives them a blunt, honest answer or B. I just blurt it out without thinking because it doesn't occur to me to censor what I'm saying until it's too late.
There can also be a bit of a paradox where "honesty" is concerned. Some people go out of their way to be "honest" and simply criticise people gratuitously. In fact, this is dishonest because they are failing to concede that the other people have good qualities as well.
I don't think this is the same as Aspie "honesty" though. Aspie honesty generally means saying what we see without censoring it as much as others might do. I would not be surprised one little bit if the boy in the story of the Emperor's New Clothes was an Aspie. He might have stated the obvious but it was so evidently truthful that all the other people then admitted that the Emperor had been conned.