Aspies For Freedom

That reminds me, actually...the one sort of "lying" I used to do was I'd make up these weird, unbelievable stories. But lying to make people feel better was something I never did.

I have learned from 70 years with this condition that most people don't really care about my personal life and those that do, I am very suspicious of.  I guess that is just part of Aspergers.  I have tried to make friends by sharing a little information, but it has never done any good.  A few years ago one person became a quite close friend but they I said something wrong and he has not spoken to me since.

It's seems that bluntness is my natural state. I have to make a serious effort to "catch myself" before i say something that people think is rude. I'm often told that i "tell it like it is", "kill the moment", or "ruin the punchline". Most of the time i do it without realizing and a moment later think "oops, that was too much" or "maybe i should have reworded that".

Today for example in japanese class our teacher was playing a cd that started to skip. She assumed it was broke and was about to turn it off when I (in a loud, i suppose rude tone) told her to "just take it out, see if there's a smudge or something and put it back". Half the class laughed and told me I was rude/mean/shouldn't have said it like that. It was way embarassing.  I realized about two seconds later that yes it was probably bad but oh well. My teacher didn't care though (we're real close so shes used to it)

Then after school a few friends were talking about superstitions and got kinda heated, trying to decide what was right/wrong. They got loud and I said (again kinda rude) that we were wasting time talking about something that didn't even exist. They were stunned and said i totally killed the moment...

I've actually improved since I was younger but it's still very hard to judge what will offend someone or what is too blunt to say. If my friend asks if her hair is a mess or if her shirt is ugly, I'll most likely tell the truth before having time to think.

Oh yes, honesty...  sometimes brutal, and I have felt sorry/embarressed sometimes for accidentally SHOCKING someone.  But later, way later, sometimes years – I’d think back and realize, hey, maybe I did them a favor. Giving them a reminder to be honest with one’s self. Glad to see there are others like myself here, keeping folks honest.

There is lying and there is "story telling". I like to tell harmless stories but I also have a problem in sometimes telling the truth when it really hurts.  When I hear someone say something that I know is wrong (usually involving intolerance *), I blurt out the truth and it always offends the other person.  

* racial slurs, gays, immigrants, lies about the President of either party etc.

I can't lie. If I did something I know was bad and my parents asked if I did it I don't make up an excuse, I just say I did it, same at school.

I don't go up to people though and tell them what I don't like about them, however I do tell people about myself which annoys them.