I guess you're not used to city life!
... either am I.
One pound - what is it exactly that you do not like about shows of affection?
Perhaps you could just take the person to one side and explain this to them - no need for shouting or violence.
This happens to me a lot too.
A few months ago a girl was 'stroking' me on my back in PE, and it was evident that I did not like it. I many times asked her to stop doing this and she still continued. In the end I swung round and hit her in the face (note: this was not purposeful, I am not generally a violent person).
People now know because of this incident that I hate being touched.. and so people tend to do this a lot, and it stresses me out and causes me to be a lot more violent to the often undeserving people around me.
I have no idea what to do about this really except to react violently when they do this; asking them to stop certainly does not help.
I detest people except close family or husband hugging or touching me. Probably why I avoid going to the doctor unless I am dying. I refuse to cut my hair now.
One pound! You could try to step on their feet a little. Ask them if they like that.
I usually just freeze up when someone does that to me. There's this bloke in my house that often leans into my face when he speaks to me which make me back until I can't escape and when I say he's to close to my face/body (1 foot) he just jokes and says I'm homophobic. I get itchy just from thinking about it. Don't know what to respond to such an idjotic accusation. Maybe I should take hold of his two lower brains and squeeze'em a little...
Gay men are too touchy and feely and can come accross as intimidating or too flaunting of their sexuality. I do not mean that to sound nasty and I don't apply that to every gay man but their are quite a lot that are like that and there is no need.
Can't even stand the thought of someone thinking they had the right to touch me even just someone tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention pisses me off.
Honestly if someone tried to hug me I might beat the hell out of them.
Not really a suggestion on how to handle the situation.
G'day all,
One Pound I know exactly where you are coming from totally.
I find the best way is to be absoutely open, look people in the face and firstly say "Please do not touch or hug me". Then when it continues you get louder so that more hear you. "I said do not touch me, do you hear me". It helps that I am 6ft 7in tall and 115kgs.
There was an incident the other day where an work associate of mine thought that I "needed" a hug (in fact I was just going through a harmless and quite normal "feeling-less day") when I just gave her the blank and open stare so well known to Aspie's families.
She got taken aback and luckily for her another associate who's son has AS said to her "Do not enter his space without his permission, especially hug him and that is that, am I understood". What a legend.
There was also a Team building activity where this group hug crap had to occur and I just said that I refused and no one was to touch me let alone hug me. The facilitator got all stroppy so I pulled myself up and decided that the best defence was offence as they say and then found myself lecturing to a group of 20 about AS and why I don't like being touched.
After pouring out my heartfelt feelings and life with AS I got a standing ovation and reckon that more than 1 person checked AS in Wikipedia and or hired "Mozart & the Whale" after that.
Let's be open about OUR requirements. It's the only way the message will get across.
This was one of my notorious "ADHD (low impulse control) Moments":
At school once, as I was walking from my classroom to the parking lot, the principal just walked up and made a "sad face" at me, then gave me a big creepy hug.
"You looked like you needed a hug" the principal said.
"I don't think I did," I said, "and I'm sure I didn't look I needed one from you."
I don't mind been touched firmly if it is done in a friendly way. I don't like being touched lightly or being 'prodded'. I hate emotional hugging.
I can't stand people I don't know touching me. The worst is when Old people sit net to you on the bus. I squash myself againt the window to try to avoid their contact.
When other people touch me it makes me feel dirty. I rarely use buses or trains and I hate the way people always seem to sit next to me. The therapist I saw said, just like at the cinema, 'normal' people find comfort in sitting near other people. I just want them to go away. Luckily nearly 100% of my travel is alone in my car.
I hate anyone touching me at all....I put up with it from family members because they're family, and in the past I've tolerated it from kids I worked with because they were kids and I didn't want to upset them.
Anyone else IS going to get an extremely exaggerated startle response if they try it. Everyone at work now knows they shouldn't try it, because one time someone did and, in a completely involuntary response, I nearly clobbered him....apologized profusely, explained I hate it, and word's gotten around
I also found out the hard way that I HAVE to tell doctors to explain exactly what they're doing and when they're about to touch me - saves the same sort of thing happening. (I once accidentally kicked a doc who touched me without warning....did I ever feel stupid.)
As for public transit: often sitting against the wall and plonking a big bag or backpack in the seat next to you keeps anyone from sitting there, unless it's really crowded.
I hate when people want to hug me in that friendly way. I don't mind my husband or family.
I also have a total adversion to having sex with people I don't know -- rather being asked to have to sex with people I don't know but I WOULD NOT DO THAT.