Aspies For Freedom

I just love it when unmarried people tell others how to have a marriage and raise children ! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!

Just because we all share aspergers does not mean we have all our other interests and values in common...  Its like saying everyone with red hair should only marry red headed people!  Its just a gene for Crisps sake! )  And really a good one to have.. Do you know how many NT people I know who have more challenges than I do? Hehehehe... Aspies is the least of my worries!   Some NT people are just out right obnoxious without the gene... Hehe...  Some Aspies hide behind their aspie genes and make excuses for bad behavior...  There is learned behavior as well... we are all so different.

That is what makes the world go round! I am also finding on many boards people who do not have aspergers but other disorders and just come on the aspie ones to interact wtih people.. They burn out everyone on all the other boards...

Aspie doesn't mean we are angels... nor does it mean we are all the same...


Same with NTs!   Isn't this just an amazing and glorious world!????

Addendum.. My husband and daughter state my other qualities far out way any negativity that aspergers may have had and they hate to see me suffer.  You know our home is wonderful.... far better than most NT/NT marriages.  My question is What's the beef? I see people who beat their spouses,, use them, etc.. and they are NTs....  My life overall is so wonderful beyond belief.. even with my aspie melt downs..3 in my life... I over came them and back on the road to living.... I do think my Hypo manic has a lot to do with my outlook on life.... I love being in a high all the time Glad I don't have the bi polar lows.... woah.. My mom had those.... but even with bi polar my mom and dad loved each other to the end.  The twinkle in their eyes were always there... and my husbands friends say we glow when we are together.  How better can that be?

I think there's probably plenty of AS/NT relationships that are fairly happy - it's just that the happy stories don't generate enough material for a book.

It still seems very strange to me that someone can have enough "dreadful problems" to fill a book, and still end up going to a publisher rather than a divorce lawyer...

Sarahjoke - I know exactly what you mean.  Even though my husband and I are generally happy we've had some sticky moments.  If we had known about AS before it might have been easier, but I too would like some guidance on how to resolve things without hurting each other.  My husband's AS makes him take everything as a criticism, which makes meaningful discussion difficult.  I try hard now to 'depersonalise' conversations, but that is not natural for me.  I also find it difficult that I always have to tell him how I feel.  You can tell me all you want that he is 'wired differently' but I still find it difficult to understand even though I am trying.  Like your husband I find physical withdrawal difficult -he'll walk out in the middle of a discussion (at least now he manages to tell me he is going to do so, so it is easier) and I feel frustrated but also frightened as it seems like a personal rejection.  The fact that he doesn't 'forget' things when they relate to his obsessions but manages to 'forget' things belonging to our everyday life is also difficult - hard for me to imagine that he is not doing it on purpose.  We're getting there, but if any of you married AS people wants to write a guide on how to deal with that kind of thing I, for one, will read avidly.

Go for it Max - you could do a good job I'm sure.  I knew nothing at all about Aspergers until recently and most of what I read doesn't seem that helpful.  I do NOT consider my husband to be some sort of burden.  He is a great bloke, kind, funny, loving, talented and just a bit irritating - but aren't we all!  I do however wish I understood him better and he often finds it very hard to explain.  This site has given me some useful insights and I'm trying hard to understand.  If I'm honest some of the things he does can come over as pretty uncaring and self centred - but I do know that he would not deliberately hurt me and there must be an explanation (hard to remember that though sometimes when you are hurt).  I'm lucky in that since he found out about AS he has made a really conscious effort to try to explain things a bit better.  He did at the beginning act strangely but I understand because he told me he felt that maybe I wouldn't be with him if I had known about AS from the start.  Rubbish, but I might have found our relationship easier if we hadn't been coming at things from different directions all the time.  Now at least we are making an effort to understand each other - and I agree Max it is both sides - he has to make the effort to understand me and provide things I need even if he can't always see the point.  In return I promise to climb over the ever increasing pile of car part catalogues without further comment!!

Being an aspie is only a part of me.. My spouse loves everything about me...even the aspieness.  My daughter does too.  It really helps to get diagnosed so as to put everything in perspective for everyone.  I just noted my husband has become a tad more protective if others made snide comments about anything negative aobut my aspergers.. not much.. but I noted the difference before and after diangosis. I am trying to get him to go out and do things on his own... so he does not fall into the caregiver's syndrome.