Yes, I would feel let down if I ended up marrying someone to stay at home, whether or not she is doing all the chores under the roof. I would prefer someone who was interested in the kinds of things I wonder about and who can sympathize every bit as much with money coming in and going out, because she's my partner in breadwinning too. You can call that sexist if you like.
I understand that being able to keep house is a self esteem consolation if somebody wouldn't offer you a job with a ten foot pole. Mom had a very comfortable retirement but was dying of cancer, and in no shape to drive or lug groceries. I had commitment and an education but I was occupationally untouchable. We had a mutually-beneficial relationship out of sheer necessity. My brother had a computer programming career from the get go (1990 to now). He was out making his own way. That's what Dad said to do. And I would have if I could have. The only thing that makes sense is God forcing me to stick around, because my brother certainly did not.
Mom was a legal secretary before I was born, and a certified genius. I'm sure she did not appreciate the post-professional life, I think that's why she developed an affection for liquor. However I'm sure she was happy with us, I had Asperger for certain, brother maybe, but we were also gifted, and both employed by the time she died.
I actually have lived in the real world on my own for nearly five years (I was sharing expenses with Mom, but she is dead). I know something about money coming in and going out.
I know many women are content to stay home and dedicate themselves 24/7 to the kids. Sometimes these wife-mothers think, "Money? That's your problem, dear." As long as he has a job and suffers no incapacity, fine.
Sustainable living is everybody's problem. Whether she works or not. On a global scale, it is the problem of every man woman and child. If something happens to our fossil-fuel-powered agricultural sector (like climatic change or the end of cheap oil), a few billion people are going to die, if not from starvation or disease, from killing one another over food.
You may take issue with whether or not I think I'd be better off with a comparably-productive, comparably-intelligent single female professional. In my world all the women in it are professionals. But in my judgment it is better that a household have two competent, and yes, professional adults, in case one is down for a while.
Because things happen, that's life, and that's marriage. A partnership.
I was the bread winner for 5 years while both my husband and I went through law school. When we had children , I hired a housekeeper and had one ever since.and i was a stay at home mom and worked part time off and on. My income paid for the housekeeper, autos, and private after school lessons for our children.
I don't think your statement is sexist just uneducated about stay at home parents or women. I agree both parents need to have had a career and/or degree to support their children if something happens to the other spouse. We both come from widowed mothers. Our daughter is an economist on Wall Street and soon to be married.
