It could be at anytime from 1 min to days. But work, parents, and family friends get in the way.
I will just say I stay gone tell one or the other interrupts me. I wounder sometimes was i really ever there.
Sometimes I am really gone just siting there in my head where few can get to me. and I do not know how long those times last.
When I disappear from people's lives, it isn't a period-of-time thing. I just don't usually want to be around people much. If my mother didn't call me once a week, I would probably just about never talk to her. Occasionally I want to talk to my friends, but when I haven't spoken to them or called them to go out for a cup of coffee in two years, they don't usually still consider me a friend.
If you want to have a lasting friendship with a person with Asperger's, you kind of have to push yourself on them, even if they don't always like it. (I am very grateful to the people who have stuck with me despite my coldness.) We're not very good at the give-and-take thing.
Don't get me wrong- communicating with people does feel like a burden most of the time. While having friends is wonderful, it is draining to be in social situations. It's a constant effort to talk to people and hear what they are saying. It's also a pain in the ass when friends expect you to tell them things and go out to noisy clubs with them and such.
A life without friends, though, can be very painful. Maybe he would be less adverse to hanging out with you if you met him halfway and only did things with him that didn't involve crowds, loud noises, and lots of communication.
In the end, your friendship with him may end up being something of a one-way street. I'm sure he would understand if you chose to stop pursuing it.
Grr... I've been having too much contact lately. Careful what you wish for, I guess...
Mommy friends are great and all, don't get me wrong. My kids need social interaction (even if I personally DONT) and I'll be darned if I don't work my darndest to get them out and involved with the world around them. I have learned to avoid certain mothers like the plague...
I think they might be on to me :snicker:
My mom usually calls every morning around 10. I spend the next hour or so trying to entangle myself from her grasp.
I'm really only truly connected to my lil' sis, a fellow ASD (she doesn't know for sure, but its her as much as its me) we help each other cope with those darned normal people that keep trying to get us to "let them in"
usually a day to two weeks.
on average 2 or 3 days.
is everyoen who posted here but me never disapeared?
i mean origional poster is not talking aout ignoreing select people, but rather having a period of "alone time"
If it wasn't for my job, my family, and the inescapable necessity of buying groceries, I would probably just about never go out. I disappear as often as I can and for as long as I can.
I disappear from people's lives for months, years, sometimes forever. This upsets them and they don't deserve it. I don't know why I do it. I'll interact with a friend or group intensely for months or years, like I can't get enough. I give them 150%. Then I start avoiding them. I still want to be friends but for some reason I can't bring myself to answer their calls or letters or to answer the door. Their attempts to contact me feel like a heavy weight and I feel guilty. My sister tried calling and writing for 2 years after our parents died, begging for contact. Her letters described her love and pain with an undertone of accusation. Her strong emotions made it harder to respond. I finally contacted her and confessed my alternative wiring and that it wasn't personal. We've met a few times this year, after she agreed to turn down the intensity. I don't intend to hurt people. I don't know why I withdraw because I don't like being lonely. Why do you other folks think you disappear?
I had one of my female friends calling me up crying thinking I had abandoned her for better friends where I live now. It's impossible for me to keep in touch and I hate that it hurts people.
Moved outta state and didn't tell family - not even parents.
(had had a big fight with father - talking to him was too akward - wasn't running away per se...)
Still had the same job (I moved partly to cut out a 1 hr commute to that job, partly beacuse of some bridges I burned during the argument), so I figured if they really needed me, they could call.
Didn't speak to any friends(um, wait... what freinds?)/family for 2 years.
Got a LITTLE bit lonely, but talikng to co-workers pretty much filled what social life I needed.
Days, Weeks, Months, Years. I guess it all depends on who it is...
Depends on what period in my life that I would speak to. In the past I've checked-out, disappeared for a year....
Nowadays, it's not easy for me to get "disappear" time while raising kids and working. I would say that I have honed "disappearing" to a fine art. The people in my household, known as the family, accept and understand the fact that I need "Disappear" time.
Since I don't get much, I need to get efficient. I find quiet meditation the most beneficial hyper-time away. I can say to my family: "I need to go lay down for a while". There's a "please do not disturb" sign on my bedroom door. I'll put headphones on and listen to my favorite CD, usually piano music. I'll disappear for 30-90 minutes. I come back refreshed.
I do this at least once a day, sometimes 2 or 3 for shorter periods. It works.
i dont know if this is what you mean,
but quite often i seem to have the ability to detach my mind sometimes at will but most of the time i do this without noticing, even if i am interested in the current convasation!!
sometimes it can be really annoying because i miss alot of what had been said but other times its good especially if their is alot of noise and people around me.
depends on how you mean by disappear, if you mean litteraly, like away from ppl.
well that happends quite often, and for periods between a few weeks, to years.
depends on whom.
my mom forexample just does not let me, and call me everyday for a week or something like that, in the end i always pickup.
if you mean like zoning out, it depends aswell, at times i can do it for a few minutes, and at times for a few hours.
sometimes i can zone out for a whole evening/night and not sleep.
Everyday I need to "disappear" for a few hours in very strict moments of the day (after 6pm until at least 11pm). Sometimes, I "disappear" usually for a week periodically. No one can hear of my existence during that period. Friends make fun of me because of that, like "what the hell were you doing?!".