A lot of people on the spectrum "warn" NTs that they might seem to "disappear" (not be in contact) for periods of time, but that the NT should not take offense to that. I was just curious how long such periods typically last. Thanks!
Now that I'm in college (one that none of my friends go to), I usually only talk to my friends on the phone like every few weeks to a couple months, and only because they call me (I despise telephones). We all hang out during breaks though.
need more spacfic question. my 'peers'(NT's) in most of my clases seem to spend most to the hour and a half class period talking,'yak yak yak'.the teacher doesnt do much of any thing about it. i get talked to for for reading in class or listen to my CD player when most have i- pod,all after i have done my work.whats up with that?
Sometimes I disappear, and reappear, and disappear, and reappear. (i.e. Getting banned from SoapChat.Net 10 times)
A very close friend of mine (I think she's NT) has been emailing me less frequently because of computer problems. Being Aspie has made me handle the situation well. If I was NT I'd probably be rather annoyed at her for not keeping contact.
If you want to have a lasting friendship with a person with Asperger's, you kind of have to push yourself on them, even if they don't always like it. (I am very grateful to the people who have stuck with me despite my coldness.) We're not very good at the give-and-take thing.
Wow. I was really wondering about pushing myself on my friend. He acts like I'm bothering him a lot of the time and sometimes I feel like he feels he is doing me a favor by talking to me at all. I've somewhat neglected a lot of my other friendships in order to stay in touch with him while he claims to not really have any other friends, so it sometimes bothers me that he doesn't seem appreciative and it's definitely upset me when he acts like I'm a burden. I've kept up the friendship because I'm so afraid he'd slip back into depression if he finds himself with unwanted loneliness, but I've started to question whether I"m doing any good at all. How do I know when it's ok to "push myself on him" and doesn't disrespect his wishes. Occasionally I ask him if he wants to stay in touch and he says "fine" but I wonder if he some how thinks he's being charitable toward me. Don't get me wrong -- I do appreciate his friendship and care about him tremendously and would be sad if we terminated it because I'd be worried about him, but if he doesn't get anything out of our communication and/or would prefer not communicating with me, I definitely would want to give him that. How should I decide?
Again, I can see myself pictured in my As-peer-gers.
I can not recall a single time I have try to pay a visit to a friend out of my own will. It seems that if there is not any external influence that compels me to hang with friends, then I just never feel the need for. Now I realize that because of this, I may have lost a lot of acquaintances during the years. Nevertheless, thanks to all you guys, from now on I will try to stay in touch with the people I know and somewhat appreciate.
And I was just wondering why my friends just tended to forget about me!
(I really don't know if should even use the word friends. I have never felt a real connection with anyone, they are just people I hang around with.)
i dont,i suppose,drop out on purpose.its just i neglect to keep in contact.
i hate phones.with a vengance.can never hear what the other end is saying.
most contact with my old friends takes place over games like Runescape,Guild Wars etc,but to be honest,i usually play Runescape with private chat off.i just cant be arsed to talk
Sometimes I pull away when I feel that the people I'm interacting with are getting too close to me. I'm trying to work on that...
I also disappear for short periods (just back from one, actually) when I'm especially depressed or REALLY absorbed in a special interest.
<hugs>
Athie
Have you played Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion?
ah,the Irony is deciduous...
At my old haunts I had one friend who by his own accounts is PDD-NOS but very intelligent. Although I tend to seek not overtly emotional types as friends, I was unaware of his diagnosis until very recently when I read his autobiography...and was shocked. I also had one long distance normie friend, the long distance part having occurred when he moved away. This one recently stopped bothering with me after 10 years which lead to some personal upset. In addition, I had this other acquaintance that I would drop in on unannounced who regularly had friends over for talk and suds about 3 times a year.
I've only had two regular girl-friends ever due to feelings of being emotionally smothered, and/or phobias about my social skill set.
I currently have only one acquaintance, and live far out in the country where not much else happens.
But, I am studying to re-enter the profession and that's where I draw my inspiration, hope, and strength.
And what profession might that be?
The longest I have spent without seeing anybody else is 2 weeks I think.
when were you alone for 2 weeks?!
Perhaps I am a bit paranoid about this as I tend to say the wrong thing on a regular basis.
ditto
when i started college, i made friends with a group of people who would always hang together. let's call this group of people Group #1. then after some time went by, i thought "maybe these are the wrong kind of people for me to be around." so i stopped talking to them. then i made friends with other people, Group #2. for a while i was content with them, and then got bored with them somewhat. they had positive qualities that Group #1 didn't have, but they also had negative qualities that Group #1 didn't have.
then i started thinking "maybe i should stop evaluating everybody and trying to pick out friends like i'm picking out things at a grocery store. maybe i can be friends with a whole bunch of different kinds of people, and just take them for what they are." because, after a while, it started to seem like friendship isn't that big of a commitment. i mean, friendships don't always mean a lot. they can be quite casual. a friend can be nothing more than someone you while away the time with because you're both bored. you don't have to be soul mates with every friend you have. you are allowed to not like certain aspects of a person, and still be friends with them.
so i'm still in touch with Group #2, but not as closely as before. and, i started talking to Group #1 again. most of them didn't seem to mind that i had "dumped" them for a semester. i'm in contact with them again, but not as closely as before.
besides all that, i only have friends that i don't get to see much because they live far away. that shouldn't really count as disappearing, though, because it's involuntary.