12-29-2004, 08:01 PM
http://www.ecnnews.com/cgi-bin/04/s/ssto...n-blinddad
Man with Asperger's syndrome defies odds and experts
By Melissa Beecher
Staff writer
PEABODY — When Neil Papamechail was born with a cyst on the base of his brain, doctors told his parents he would never see, hear or walk — and he would not live to adulthood.
Now a 34-year-old father of two, Papamechail takes great joy in the fact that he's proven them all wrong.
"Doctors told my parents to take me home, keep me warm, and enjoy the six months they'd have with me," said Papamechail, who lives in Peabody. "So from then on, I don't believe the limits someone else puts on me."
Legally blind and diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism, Papamechail is a stay-at-home dad who cares for his 2-year-old daughter, Alexis, and his 10-year-old stepdaughter, Caitlyn. Papamechail, who can both hear and walk, calls his a charmed life.
"I have done more than I ever thought possible. My dreams weren't this good," he said. "I have a beautiful wife, two great kids ... people who need me. I've never been needed before, and knowing that I am, that's what makes life worth living."
But day-to-day tasks are far from easy.
Papamechail can't drive a car and, as anyone with a toddler knows, even complete sight sometimes isn't enough to keep kids out of trouble. The Asperger's syndrome causes him to hyper-focus on certain activities, namely, spending countless hours poring over newspapers, magazines and the Internet, mentally cataloging world, national and local events.
Doctors characterize Papamechail as "high-functioning" autistic. Traditionally, people with Asperger's have problems with social interactions, develop repetitive patterns of behavior and have trouble understanding empathy or nonverbal cues.
"Basically, I have no short-term memory," Papamechail said. "I scored a 1580 on my SATs, but failed out of college in two semesters because I couldn't put that knowledge to practical use. I can answer any trivia question there is, but can't tell you where I put my house keys or what I had for breakfast."
Alexis often reminds her father when it's lunchtime or when it's time to change her diaper. The youngster has an extensive vocabulary, can already spell her name and has started to learn how to read — all by the age of 2.
"We help each other," her dad said with a smile. "We've worked out a good system."
Long way home
Papamechail hasn't always been so comfortable with his disabilities. Growing up in Danvers before special education students were mainstreamed, he was constantly teased and excluded by his peers.
He was written off as "odd" until just a few years ago, when he was diagnosed with Asperger's.
"Teachers, people in general, couldn't figure me out. I couldn't figure me out," he said. "I was reading this book and it explained Asperger's, and I had tears running down my face. I kept saying, 'That's me, there's a name for it.'"
Gail Kastorf, director of the Autism Support Center in Danvers, said Papamechail's story isn't uncommon.
"People with Asperger's are usually bright individuals who have difficulties with social interactions," Kastorf said. "It's something that usually isn't diagnosed until later in life, so they are grouped with odd or quirky people. Asperger's patients are high-functioning, so people think that it's willful behavior."
As a teenager and young adult, Papamechail battled depression and attempted suicide half a dozen times. He says his life changed when he met his wife, Colleen, while the two worked at Verizon. Now, he takes medication and has found meaning in life, he said.
"My wife means everything to me," said Papamechail. "There were times I would just sleep for days and no one would come looking for me. That will never happen again. Colleen is a tough woman who makes me stronger."
After Alexis was born, Papamechail became a stay-at-home dad and started battling another stigma.
"Many people think of a stay-at-home mom as accomplishing something profound, but a stay-at-home dad as a defective male," he said. "Of everything I have gone through, raising kids is definitely the hardest, hands down. It took me a long time, but now I'm comfortable with what I am. I'm a dad at home with my kids, and I wouldn't want to be doing anything else."
Papamechail said he hopes to continue helping his family and erasing stereotypes about the disabled.
"A long time ago there was an ad campaign put on by the Association of Retarded Citizens that said, 'Label jars, not people,'" he said. "If it's one thing I want people to walk away with, it is not to take one look and write people off. We all have something to give."
Man with Asperger's syndrome defies odds and experts
By Melissa Beecher
Staff writer
PEABODY — When Neil Papamechail was born with a cyst on the base of his brain, doctors told his parents he would never see, hear or walk — and he would not live to adulthood.
Now a 34-year-old father of two, Papamechail takes great joy in the fact that he's proven them all wrong.
"Doctors told my parents to take me home, keep me warm, and enjoy the six months they'd have with me," said Papamechail, who lives in Peabody. "So from then on, I don't believe the limits someone else puts on me."
Legally blind and diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism, Papamechail is a stay-at-home dad who cares for his 2-year-old daughter, Alexis, and his 10-year-old stepdaughter, Caitlyn. Papamechail, who can both hear and walk, calls his a charmed life.
"I have done more than I ever thought possible. My dreams weren't this good," he said. "I have a beautiful wife, two great kids ... people who need me. I've never been needed before, and knowing that I am, that's what makes life worth living."
But day-to-day tasks are far from easy.
Papamechail can't drive a car and, as anyone with a toddler knows, even complete sight sometimes isn't enough to keep kids out of trouble. The Asperger's syndrome causes him to hyper-focus on certain activities, namely, spending countless hours poring over newspapers, magazines and the Internet, mentally cataloging world, national and local events.
Doctors characterize Papamechail as "high-functioning" autistic. Traditionally, people with Asperger's have problems with social interactions, develop repetitive patterns of behavior and have trouble understanding empathy or nonverbal cues.
"Basically, I have no short-term memory," Papamechail said. "I scored a 1580 on my SATs, but failed out of college in two semesters because I couldn't put that knowledge to practical use. I can answer any trivia question there is, but can't tell you where I put my house keys or what I had for breakfast."
Alexis often reminds her father when it's lunchtime or when it's time to change her diaper. The youngster has an extensive vocabulary, can already spell her name and has started to learn how to read — all by the age of 2.
"We help each other," her dad said with a smile. "We've worked out a good system."
Long way home
Papamechail hasn't always been so comfortable with his disabilities. Growing up in Danvers before special education students were mainstreamed, he was constantly teased and excluded by his peers.
He was written off as "odd" until just a few years ago, when he was diagnosed with Asperger's.
"Teachers, people in general, couldn't figure me out. I couldn't figure me out," he said. "I was reading this book and it explained Asperger's, and I had tears running down my face. I kept saying, 'That's me, there's a name for it.'"
Gail Kastorf, director of the Autism Support Center in Danvers, said Papamechail's story isn't uncommon.
"People with Asperger's are usually bright individuals who have difficulties with social interactions," Kastorf said. "It's something that usually isn't diagnosed until later in life, so they are grouped with odd or quirky people. Asperger's patients are high-functioning, so people think that it's willful behavior."
As a teenager and young adult, Papamechail battled depression and attempted suicide half a dozen times. He says his life changed when he met his wife, Colleen, while the two worked at Verizon. Now, he takes medication and has found meaning in life, he said.
"My wife means everything to me," said Papamechail. "There were times I would just sleep for days and no one would come looking for me. That will never happen again. Colleen is a tough woman who makes me stronger."
After Alexis was born, Papamechail became a stay-at-home dad and started battling another stigma.
"Many people think of a stay-at-home mom as accomplishing something profound, but a stay-at-home dad as a defective male," he said. "Of everything I have gone through, raising kids is definitely the hardest, hands down. It took me a long time, but now I'm comfortable with what I am. I'm a dad at home with my kids, and I wouldn't want to be doing anything else."
Papamechail said he hopes to continue helping his family and erasing stereotypes about the disabled.
"A long time ago there was an ad campaign put on by the Association of Retarded Citizens that said, 'Label jars, not people,'" he said. "If it's one thing I want people to walk away with, it is not to take one look and write people off. We all have something to give."
:o