I'm sure I can't add much to the above, but echo the sentiments. Love your child as much as you do, forever, there may come a day when they don't want you for a short time, but where that love is provided, they will come looking for it when it's needed again. There are days when my daughter doesn't even want to see me or the rest of the family and locks herself away in her room. But when she wants us we are there.
Encourage his interests, even when they are so absorbing to him that nothing esle outside of it exists!
I can't honestly say I would change anything with my 13 yr old, because I'd probably still not get it right anyway - all we can do is the very best we can for our children.
I stuggle a LOT with the whole need for solitude thing, I worry so much that my daughter is isolating herself too much, but I can't force her to socialise and just hope I'm doing the right thing.
I struggle a LOT with the whole need for solitude thing, I worry so much that my daughter is isolating herself too much, but I can't force her to socialise and just hope I'm doing the right thing.
I think so - a lot of us like some socialising at times but we also like to spend plenty of time on our own.
Yes you are doing the right thing. Let your children be social on their timetables. My mom used to lock me out of the house on Saturday mornings to "go play". No books allowed. I know she did it because she loved me and thought I would be happier making friends but it was a real miserable period for me.
haha that was also my punishment too. She finally figured out I was quite content to be grounded so switched it around.
How absurd to hear "No you cant come in and get abook, you are being punished NOW GO PLAY"
Just respect your chilrens needs and cherish them. The rest will eventually fall into place.
I don't think right now you are doing anything wrong, andf
Sorry, for some reason that posted. (Where is the edit button for posts like that?)
Anyway, I don't think right now you are doing anything wrong, and it will help your son and yourself since you found out quite early. I didn't find out until a few months ago and so throughout my life my behavior was seen as "immature, selfish and bad." I was put on various medications and smacked a few times because I could be out of control.
So my only suggestion is be patient, understand or try to understand what your son may be going through, and just always care for him like you are doing now.
Baby? One reason to lose the booze.
Aspie baby? Twice as much.
Mom had a drinking problem, Dad made it worse by answering my question, why does mom drink, by answering, the disabilities of you and your brother.
Also, Dad was too much of a worker to be much of a dad, and I recall after college graduation how badly he wanted me to disappear, he even had me see an Army recruiter, who said I was too heavy (which I reminded him, but I hated to be hustled off to the Army just to be rid of), also tried to send me up to grandma after she had a heart attack. Did not make me feel very good about being persona non grata with a degree (or persona non grata in grad school).
One last thing: I never did get out of the house in his lifetime.
If I had, it would have been what he wanted and I wanted, but mom would have been dying of breast cancer for six years or more all by herself (as my brother left when he could).
Perhaps he figured that out before he died. I couldn't make out what he was saying in his last weeks.
So, I think God forced me to stick around, when I would rather not have.
Being single (but being a Web developer)... is there a good reason for that too?
I think it is not so much wanting to be married but the feeling that you could.
I think 90% of the pain being single is
if it makes you feel less of a person, that you feel persona non grata on account of something like AS.
"At that time seven women will grab one man and say, "We will eat our own bread and make our own clothes, but please marry us! Please, take away our shame!""
Isaiah 4:1, New Century Version
The more I think about it, it applies to a lot of guys on the spectrum too.
It is all so confusing.
We are wonderful creations of God, and on top of that, some of us have one or more of the following: education, intelligence, personality, character, looks, et cetera (well maybe not my looks)
And a typical response from too many NTs is to ignore us (interviewing or dating) or abuse us (verbal, physical, even sexual abuse from our peers), all of which I can relate to
What's up with that?
It's the Looking Glass Self (Charles Horton Cooley, an early U.S. sociologist). Means we see ourselves not as we are made but as we are treated.
Yes, it is so confusing. One message says we're good and the other message says we're not, but we live in the latter.
We need to dedicate one part of this site to self esteem in a hostile world.
Dad made it worse by answering my question, why does mom drink, by answering, the disabilities of you and your brother.
Ouch, that must have really hurt. I hope you realize now that it was NOT your fault that she drank. She had her own reasons, and it was her choice. Never take the blame for things that are not your fault.
Your parents were lucky to have you in their lives.