Yes I know not every single woman on the earth reacts like this, and I did say "can be". But just think for a second...How attracted is a woman towards a man when she is acting as his "mommy" vs because he's a strong attractive MAN. Give me one good example where a couple stayed madly in love for 40+years in "mommy" type relationship.
No I beg to differ, it's not complicated at all, it's just difficult. I sense that you enjoy playing the victim and try to pass blame for what is happening to you. Take responsibility for your life and go down to the book store and the library and get all the books you can find on being assertive. Study them relentlessly. Learn how to respond in a way that will lead you to a positive outcome as often as possible.
You may not be able to change the fact that you have AS, but you can change your attitude and make some deliberate improvements to your interactions with other people and therefore also your life. The fact that you are on here posting about this situation shows that you have it in you already. You are already trying to take steps towards greater understanding and a better life. You can do it man.
you said, "women are not attracted to men they percieve as weak, and can be rather hurtful...".
i did not say a mommy relationship. by "maternal" (originally in quotations for this reason) i was referring to the tendency for many people, not just women, to be attracted to
and feel protective of another person's weaknesses or foibles.
many women, including me, find the idea of a MAN (uppercase emphasis yours) very unattractive. my mother has been happily married to a lowercase man for 21 years. why is being
different not masculine? it takes great courage to be different.
i would be interested to know what your definition of a "MAN" is.
Ok I apologise, "most" and I say most (because it's too dificult to determine the exact number of NT women) find a real MAN attractive. They may not be able to put it into words but it is absolute fact. To be honest I have no idea what AS women find attractive in men so I won't talk about it, you tell me please.
According to their value system a real man who is attractive has the following qualities to name a few:
Confidence
Is taller than her
Walks on the outside of the kerb when they are walking together (protective and self sacrificial)
Opens doors for her
Has high social status
Has the ability to say "no" once in a while
Now please understand these are only a few examples and I am not trying to say if a guy has only one or two of these that no woman will ever love him. There are DEGREES of love. I have put a lot of research into this so I'm not just talking out of my ring piece.
Now let's have a look at your points:
i did not say a mommy relationship. by "maternal" (originally in quotations for this reason) i was referring to the tendency for many people, not just women, to be attracted to
and feel protective of another person's weaknesses or foibles.
Yes, possible. Is this referring to the majority of women in the world? No.
many women, including me, find the idea of a MAN (uppercase emphasis yours) very unattractive. my mother has been happily married to a lowercase man for 21 years.
I can understand why that may be as a woman with AS, though like I said, you can elaborate here for my sake.
why is being different not masculine? it takes great courage to be different.
I like this one. It's not masculine because...well... it's not masculine. If you are different from masculine then what does that make you? Not masculine. It takes courage to be different, so like not being masculine right? Being masculine takes courage! If you are referring to a different kind of AS masculinity according to your value system then how does this take courage? You have AS and therefore you are different. Courage is irrelevant here.
Excuse the formatting I have no edit button.
I am interested to know your thoughts on this because today a woman I have know a long time said some quite nasty things to me. Our coverstation which began around work matters turned to my personal life. This is always an issue I try to avoid. She asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. Then she asked where I lived and with whom and I told her I lived at home with my parents she went on with the questioning and ultimately came to the conclusion that I was weird, very odd and she suggested that because of these things ( and because I wasn't gay ) that I couldn't be a real man. She also went on to suggest that I was a waste of a life and taking up space on the earth that could be better used by someone else. I would not be too concerned if this was a one-off but it isn't. Over the years many people have said similar things to me.
I have always lacked the personality traits that creates interest in relationships with other people and motivation in general. I find everyday living causes me high anxiety and stress. I am often happy just to get through a basic day of work. It means I am happy just to make simple achievements.
Am I really such a waste of time? Is she and the others correct? I don't think she is because everyone is different and I am very different compared to most. What do you think about this?
She is a real ***. If anyone said that to me, I'd just say "Well you're one to talk and don't question my personal life if all you are going to do is be really insensitive".
How are you a waste of space just because you live with your parents? My aunt Eliane lived with my gran and grampa until she got married and she isn't a waste of space.
people have been telling im stupid, ugly, worthless, immature, 'evil" etc all of my life, tons of people.
my cousins think i am an embracing failure because i was pretty much pushed out of highschool and may not graduate.
they fail to realize that i have an almost scary-high IQ, i am only 17 but already a professional artist, and i just.. dont understand the immature thing. im also a model so how ugly can i be?
basically, NTs don't think like us, they base their opinions selfishly while we base ours in a very broad aspect to see form every possible angle we can find. to them everything is black white, to us everything is grey.
people who judge us for not being normal, theyre just stupid, im sorry its that simple, she is narrow minded.
I am interested to know your thoughts on this because today a woman I have know a long time said some quite nasty things to me. Our coverstation which began around work matters turned to my personal life. This is always an issue I try to avoid. She asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. Then she asked where I lived and with whom and I told her I lived at home with my parents she went on with the questioning and ultimately came to the conclusion that I was weird, very odd and she suggested that because of these things ( and because I wasn't gay ) that I couldn't be a real man. She also went on to suggest that I was a waste of a life and taking up space on the earth that could be better used by someone else. I would not be too concerned if this was a one-off but it isn't. Over the years many people have said similar things to me.
I have always lacked the personality traits that creates interest in relationships with other people and motivation in general. I find everyday living causes me high anxiety and stress. I am often happy just to get through a basic day of work. It means I am happy just to make simple achievements.
Am I really such a waste of time? Is she and the others correct? I don't think she is because everyone is different and I am very different compared to most. What do you think about this?
My view is that people who say such things are insecure, or have overly conditional security.
And it's often learned from society: all their life they've heard people say things like this, and they've come to believe it. If they had a situation like yours, they'd feel the same way about themselves. Heck, maybe they do already. I've known people who are extremely critical of both themselves and others, because they've absorbed and accepted the viewpoint that Y is bad so anyone who has trait Y, be it self or other, is a waste of space.
It's a waste of time, IMO, for people to have to think like that when they could be so much happier not having to look down on people.
She's just a ***. Some people are just mean, nasty, rude little ******* for no good reason; they're the ones with (
serious) problems, not you. The number of times I've been working whatever menial job du jour, and customers have gone off at me - seemingly just for the sake of it - accusing me of being a stupid, lazy high school dropout...
Psssht! I go to university!
15 years from now I'll be happy and successful - and they'll still be the spiteful, miserable morons they always were. Try to keep something similar in mind in such situations... she's the lonely, unhappy old cow, not you.