Aspies For Freedom

First, a short into - I'm an 18-year-old female from Australia and as you can see, a total newbie. I apologise in advance if I say anything daft, I'm not being rude about AS, I'm just still fairly ignorant on the subject.

Anyway, psychiatrist (I've previously been treated for bipolar disorder and ADD) today told me that he thinks I might have Asperger's Syndrome... I was a tad shocked. O.o It's not that I think it's a bad thing, or anything, I just never thought that I might have it. I can see where there might be symptoms, for example I tend to be obsessive over my hobby or task du jour, being in an unfamiliar sort of environment or situation often stresses me and my social skills are, at times, a bit lacking. It's not that I avoid social contact, I just don't feel the need to seek it out as often as some people do (my school even sent me to a shrink when I was 6 because they thought I was alienating myself from the other kids, when I was really quite fine), and I can be a bit tactless sometimes. The number of times my mother has told me off in private for saying something to another person at some stage previously, when I had no idea it could be considered offensive or rude - or someone's started yelling me and I've been like "Whaaa? What'd I do?"... I'm a walking faux pas. Also, I'm pretty hypersensitive; I don't even keep the tags in my clothes.

That said, the Aspergers thing still seems a bit odd. I mean, I can function in social situations with little unease (unless I don't know most of the people there, then I'm pretty reserved), I have lots of friends (although few close friends) and I like going to a good party. Heck, I'm an actor too. Besides, I don't know. Wouldn't it be more... obvious? I mean, 18 years until diagnosis, in an age when such things are recognised? I always thought I was a bit eccentric, sometimes happily reclusive and other times comfortably outgoing - but not that I had AS. I was bullied a lot and lonely in elementary school, and I knew it was because I was kind of different, but upon reflection I just of shrugged it off as being due to my intelliegence.

Hrm. I'm not even sure what the point of this thread is. I just feel a bit bewildered, I guess, and it's probably a good idea to get some imput from people who actually know what I'm on about. Even I think I sound like a schmuck right now, hehe.

hey there.   It's a spectrum, so it might be very possible that you have AS - your list of traits there indicates to me that it's highly likely.  It would also make sense that if someone has enough other skills they might help to cope and manage to keep the Aspie traits from seeming like a 'problem'.

For instance, the very things that give you an inclination towards acting could help you to master some of the interpersonal behavioral aspects that other aspies don't even think about. Observation, mimicking, attempting to understand and relate to the situation that your characters are going through all may help you in figuring people out intellectually instead of in the sensing way that most NT's use innately.

The aspie side would be the part that needs information and processing time - most NT's don't need that, they just seem to sense things and know instinctively how to react without thinking about it. Your keen ability and sharp intellect may help you gather information faster and process it more efficiently so that you may FEEL awkward in some situations but you adapt your behavior quickly so that most people can't really tell.

I've done some acting too and find that I can easily get into a character that I've studied and perform my memorized lines (or a variation there of) in front of an audience without trouble (public speaking is the same way) - but if I have to improvise new material that I haven't planned, on the spot, I get tongue tied and nervous - if it's on stage with waiting eyes, forget it.  

I also don't act for the attention - I'm task oriented. I like to do a good job and make people feel something... and I want them to enjoy it, but it's not really about the curtain call for me it's about moving people.  I'd much prefer a note in the mail explaining how my performance impacted someone's life. *L*

Where as I've witnessed NT actors not much interested in rehersal put able to put on a show at the drop of a hat and eat up every last bit of attention they get, interacting with their audience in ad lib ways that just amazes me and you just TRY to get them off that stage!!

Also, it's often said that aspies lack empathy, which is one of the major necessities to act well - however, I disagree with that assessment in that I know for a fact that many aspies DO empathize extremely well, if they have enough information and processing time to understand what is being felt by the other person!  In fact, I know a few aspies who are much better with empathizing with people who are suffering than NT's who know what's being felt and just don't care - or use their knowledge to manipulate the person.

Welcome to the board!

I agree with much of what 7oclock said. I've been acting since I was in college. I've seen Aspies do excellent performances, often because they are very good at analyzing a character and constructing the character's behaviors. I have wondered sometimes about some famous actors who might be Aspie. The only one I know of that seems to be "out" as an Aspie is Dan Ackroyd. There are no doubt many others. I wonder about Jodie Foster, for one...

And bohemian_storm,  when you ask "Wouldn't it be more... obvious?"... well, it likely is obvious to some people -- or at least somewhat noticable -- but they don't know enough about Aspegers to have a name for what they see in you -- so they may just think of you as... whatever their word might be. "different" "eccentric" whatever...

7oclock said "NT actors not much interested in rehersal"

This is often true. for most actors, it seems to be about "Let me just put My Wonderful Self in front of an audience so they can LOVE ME! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!"

I was always more fascinated with the process of creating the character and putting the show together, and especially loved scene work. I used to say i would be perfectly happy rehersing a show for 8 weeks and never opening it for an audience.

Hmmm. It's all very interesting, and still rather surprising. I mean... I guess I could see it. The symptoms relating to things other than sociability are quite like me. Especially when I was a kid... personality traits such as my obsession with certain subjects and dislike of change were much, much worse when I was young. My life was a series of obsessive interests, which were arguably fairly obscure for a kid - from the paranormal to meteorology to modern European history, etc. I was a ridiculously fussy eater (even today I get oddly annoyed if I can't have a specific beverage with a specific meal, etc) and I remember having hysterics when mum moved the position of my bed in my room when I was about 9. I'm still less than pleased and get grumpy if someone changes some aspect of my environment (no matter how trivial) without my prior permission... even if I can see that it's a good idea!

As for the social stuff... that is my biggest reason for doubt. I mean, people fascinate me - I have a keen interest in Psychology and studying human behaviour and body language. However, 7oclock's post just made me realise that it's a fairly intellectual, analytical interest of mine, rather than just something which is intuitive. My observation, mimicry and calculated efforts to relate to and empathise with other people are exactly like the techniques I use in my acting. Even my expressions and body language are often the result of a conscious decision. I don't just instinctively do it, unless it's fairly blatant (ie, "Oops, she's crying, that can't be good!").

Perhaps the reason I'm so good in a social setting such as a party or at school is because I'm so always so aware of what I should do and pay attention to. When I'm not making a conscious effort, in mundane day-to-day situations such as speaking to a salesperson, I have to admit I tend to feel... socially clumsy.

Also, one of my second cousins has high-functioning autism. Not the closest of relatives, but I guess that's some genetic link.

I guess the question now is... do I want an official diagnosis? That probably sounds ruder than I mean - as in, maybe ignorance is bliss? I worry that I or other people might accidentally place too much emphasis on the AS... start to see it as my defining feature of my personality, or the key reason for why I do things.

I hate clothing tags too!

Aspies can be fascinated with people. In fact, with our low social skills, we've been known to study things like psychology, drama, or sociology just to try to understand them. Also we can become obsessed with individuals, and get very embarrassed when accused of "stalking" them... All in all, being introverted or extraverted, having an interest in people or not, are variable among those on the Spectrum.

You may or may not be autistic yourself, but from your description, you are either an Aspie or NT with a lot of Aspie traits.

Regarding a diagnosis, it all depends. You don't need to disclose having Asperger's to anyone--not your family, not your boss or coworkers, not your educational institution of whatever level. So if you want a diagnosis, just to find out whether your suspicions are correct, it won't hurt you. But there's always the money issue; so if you're ambivalent about it for self-knowledge purposes, and you don't need any accomocations for which having Asperger's may make you eligible, then it doesn't make sense to seek a diagnosis.

It's your decision to make; all in all, neither choice will have a truly bad effect, so it's a matter of preference.

I'm fairly sure it wouldn't cost me anything to get a diagnosis - I'll ask my psychiatrist about it. Yay, free Australian healthcare!

But... hrm. Maybe it'd be a good thing, or maybe it wouldn't be... I don't know. Do you think there would be any benefits from an official diagnosis? I'm generally just feeling a little confused about the whole thing, hehe.