Aspies For Freedom

I've been meaning to fill out an application for medical assistance for the longest time now but confusion has prevented me from completing it. But the time as come. I need to get my life in order. Get some medical help. So then I begin fixing other things in my life.

I'm just so lost on how to fill out this application. I live in Pennsylvania. I don't know if apps are different in other states but maybe I can get some advice on how to fill the thing out.

A little background that can help with the application:

- As some of you may know I've been living with my boyfriend in our apartment for a little over a year. I pay a little bit of rent that I am able to and I also pay the phone bill. My boyfriend pays the rest of the rent and the electric bill. All other utilities we don't have to pay.

- I work only 2-3 days a week at minimum wage. But the hours vary so in turn my income varies.

So here's a few questions:

1. A question asks "Do you have utility  costs other than heating, cooling, or phone" YES/NO. I would say yes because we have to pay electric. But I said my bf pays that bill. Would I say yes or no? And there is a section to list your household expenses. I list my bf as a roomate and that we basically share expenses. But under these boxes they want to know how much rent you pay. How much I pay into the rent varies. Should I put "varies" (I can't even give an estimate it varies so much) or should I put how much the rent is a month? Same with electric. I don't pay it. Should I list (YES/No boxes) it as a household expense? Then it asks "Does anyone outside your household pay any of your expenses?" My parents help me with my credit card bill (they have borrowed money off my credit card countless times so it's only fair) sometimes and pay for my music lessons. There's not even room enough to list all those and I can't even think about how much they have helped me with.

2. "Household Income". I don't want to include my bf. It's no fair if I have to. My mom once applied for medical assistance and got turned down because she had to include my dad's income and they said they made too much. If I had to list my bf (who, like I said, is listed as "roomate") I'd be screwed because he makes a decent amount of money. But it's not like a roomate should have to pay for her roomate's medical expenses. That's totally unfair.

This whole application makes me nervous. There's so many penalties for providing false information. I'd call someone for help with it but I'm too nervous to even do that.

Imajican--

1. "Do you have utility costs other than heating, cooling, and phone?"

You would put "no."  You're not paying it, so it's not relevant to your application.

2."Household Income."  You've already put down that your boyfriend is a roommate, which is true.  You're head of your own household in that case.  Put down what you make, on average, to the best of your ability.  

Also, you didn't say how much you put down for rent.  Estimate this to the best of your ability, and say this is your share.  You will be interviewed, and asked about this, so you just be as honest as you can.  

I have gone through the system with my parents, and for myself.  If you want, you can pm me and ask any other questions regarding your app if you'd like.

Good luck, Jaye

You state yourself that your room mate is in fact your boyfriend, in this case he may be treated as a live-in partner.

That can be somewhat of a grey area.

They aren't married, and unless they are recognized as domestic partners, I don't think this is an issue.  It is something to be considered as Imajica thinks about her future.  Is this a permanent relationship, or is she staying there because she doesn't see any other means of staying off of the street.

Heck, in Washington State, she would be considered homeless, in that she's only paying what she can because she can't  pay the rent herself, even if she has a relationship with the person she's living with.  That would be true here if it was a brother or sister or aunt or uncle.  She's an adult, and not married to him.  She's between a rock and a hard place, because if it is a serious relationship, and marriage is in the future, then why isn't she on his insurance?

If her boyfriend is not willing to take on her medical, then there are definite limits to that relationship, and Imajican needs to make plans independently.  She could consider ssi, and vocational rehab, or see if she can get more hours at work, but I think she's already said that work is hard for her.  She needs someone like a caseworker to help her through the system, and maybe she can get one through DSHS, but every state's system is different.  

I wish her, and everyone well.

Metta, Jaye

Thank you.

Yes. That's the confusing part, which makes everything so hard. Yes, my boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship, but no plans for marriage. We've been going out for 2 years, living together for 1. A year ago I was working more hours and was able to pay exactly one half of the rent, but I saw the decline of my mental and physical state, quit my job. Then I here I am again, I took my old job back but with less hours (I still feel the intense fatigue even with the shortened hours).

I would just hope that they don't bring my boyfriend into this. It would be no fair for him to pay into my medical bills. And I really want to be able to do this independently

So if my parents help me out with my credit card bills sometimes do I have to mention that?

Are you going to pay them back when you can for the payments on your cards?  If so, you could list that as part of your debts.

When I applied for SSI, I listed a loan from my father and it was accepted, as was a loan I got from a friend.

Yes, these forms are confusing and it can be intimidating.  Hang in there and do it as completely as you can, and write down any questions you have.   Also, make sure you have as much documentation as you can find, and keep it ready for your appointment with DSHS (or whatever the department is called in your state).

Have you applied for SSI, or SSDI?  Are you officially dx, or do you have any other co-morbids?  These might be options as well, depending on your level of disability.  (That last question was for you to ponder-you don't have to answer it here)

Hope that helps a little.

Metta, Jaye

Hi Jaye,

No I do not have an official diagnosis. So I haven't even thought of applying for SSI.

As for the credit card payments. A lot of that was actually loan/s on my family's part. A few years ago my brother borrowed quite a bit of cash off my credit card. Was not able to pay it fully back and so the interest has grown. My minimum payment sky-rocketed from around $20 to around $70 amonth. It's been paid back here and there but the interest is just too much. And now last month my dad had to borrow some cash off my card because he needed a new radiator for his car. My minimum is now in the $80s. So because of this and my own financial troubles my family has been paying my bills because I just can't keep up. Besides the minimum is high because of them. I rarely make any charges on my card. So this is why I'm wondering if I should mention they help me with my bills.

Imajican--

I wouldn't call your family paying your bills as "helping" you out.  I would call it paying you back "money" you loaned them.  

If you can, I would not help your family out any more with the credit card.  That is the worst way to help anyone out, especially with the nasty interest rates.  It is too easy to get into trouble with credit cards.  You are in too vulnerable a position.

Here's what I think, and take it with a grain of salt: apply for everything, whether you think you can get it or not.  Apply for welfare, medical, and food stamps.  The reason I say this is so you have a paper trail.  You need medical the most, but you could get help to deal with your job situation, like vocational rehabilitation, and maybe you can get into a full-time job with medical, or a part-time job with access to medical.  Go big, with the idea it's to get a hand up and into a better situation to support yourself.

I don't know your whole situation, so like I said, just think about it and evaluate whether or not this is feasible, or workable.

Just an idea.

Much metta, Jaye.

Oh, yes, and I wouldn't mention your parents paying some of your bills unless listing the money owed to you is on the form, which  it probably is.  And you'll have a face to face, and you can explain the situation.  It's up to you.

Good luck, Jaye.