K guys, looks like I posted this message to the wrong forum but I dont know how to delete the original post in the "support" forum but this forum seems like a more appropriate place:
Well, I wonder if any of you are romantically involved, or have been[as I have-I just broke up w/ a bipolar woman]so with a bipolar person. Maybe some of you are bipolar yourselves I personally have known and run into quite a lot of these people. In fact, bipolar disorder seems to be not that uncommon; well @ least its far more common than Asperger Syndrome. Not to mention the fact that it seems to show no noticeable gender skew.It seems to me, that most women arent Nearly as intimidated or put off by bipolar behaviours in men as they are by the behaviours of Asperger Syndrome. I personally am an emotionally volatile[or highly sensitivie]individual and often react negatively to other peoples emotional outbursts. Part of that may have to do with the fact that Im horribly impatient. Another thing that really upsets me about bipolar people is their emotional unpredictability....my ex-gf would have spates of emotional upset-often in response to stress and would want to cut off contact with me for long periods of time. I enjoy lots of attention-and giving it too so that was just too frustrating for me to put up with
My ex was bi-polar and was murder at the best of times, when things were good they were great but it was rare. The one question she used to throw at me was why are you with me and she could not get that it was cos I loved her and threw it back that when I am like this how could you love me etc
It is not easy but when a person who is bi-p can listen, tell them why you are there and why. It will help.
My step-mother was bipolar, and I had a short (and explosive) relationship with a bipolar men a few years ago. I agree with what krispyg76 said. It was the unpredictability and never knowing what might motivate their rage or dispair. There are many great books and websites on B-PD.
My stepfather (abusive) was bipolar... so is one of the best friends I've had. Draw your own conclusions.
Interesting, callista -- as I said, I grew up with a B-PD parent (also not always a very pretty story) and I used to be quite drawn to friendships and romances with B-P's. Not in quite some time, though... I think I sort of worked out my issues with the B-PD parent and no longer felt the need to involve B-P's in my life...
One psychologist says "We are drawn to people who remind us of whichever parent we had the most pain from."
This is a horrible thing to say, but I'll say it anyway. I don't like being around bi-polar people because their mood swings really confuse and disturbe me. There are two women at my work who are bi-polar depressives and I just hate working with them. Sorry, but its true. I just don't understand how someone can appear happy one minute then suddenly change and be angry and/ or upset. I can't understand it. That lack of understanding makes me half frightened of the person and half hateful of them. Not nice feelings I know. For them and me.
Michael, the feelings you're expressing are very common responses to B-P disordered people. Some people are fascinated and attracted to the B-P's roller-coaster emotions. But -- well, a lot of people throw up if they ride a roller coaster.
Statistically, B-P's have a great number of short, stormy relationships because a lot of people can't handle being around it.
I agree with Michael, I find the Bipolar emotional rollercoster to be Frustrating beyond words. Bipolar people tend to get on my nerves when they are manic and their emotional unpredictability makes me not trust them. Whilst Bipolarity is an extreme Ive noticed that many NT women Ive met-and even a few aspie women-tend to be very moody and fickle and feel free to subject others to their emotional episodes. I guess Ive concluded that women are more emotional than men-but I cant tell if this is cultural or biological because men in my culture are expected to be stoic.
I would not say that I could not be around them but it was not easy. It is hard when you are trying to get them to understand that you love them and they can not see past the fact that they think they are unlovable.
One of the key arguements we had was over medication and counselling, like she would not take her pills as she did not want to be controlled by medication all her life and she saw counselling as patronising her. I saw her taking her pills as something that meant i did not hav eto worry about her and counselling as someone else to speak to other than me.
Unfortunately, counselling can often be patronising and the pills for bipolar can be very hard to get at the correct dosage so that is why some bipolar people don't want to go down those routes. It doesn't make life any easier for those around them but don't forget they find life very hard too.
Well it took 2 different courses of medication, one that did not help and one that made her ill before we hit upon ones that worked.
The counselling was liek a relief for me and when she went it worked.
her parents did not help as they lived about 50 miles away and her dads answer when she was upset was to take her out shopping or give her money and to be fair they did not know how to deal with it and they did not know what was going on as she never told them anything, as she did not want to burden people.
I do feel for anyone that is dealing with that day in, day out
It isn't a picnic for the bipolar sufferer OR the people they are with. The medications used to treat it are okay in the right dose but dangerous when not. However, the trial and error required to work out the right dose is too much for some of the people afflicted with this illness.
I so agree with you on that but it is worth persevering to see what works although it is a long trek, you need to try a course of medication and give it amonth and see if it works. Then there are medications where you can not consume alchohol and when the person involved was only 18 you can not ask that of them.