Aspies For Freedom

Very familiar. I don't know how to quantify that.

School isn't made for people with AS. They expect you to intuit a lot. Teachers didn't know what to do with me in school. I'm good with words, and sometimes they wanted to put me in the honours classes, but I suck with math, and sometimes they wanted to put me in the 'slow' classes. They didn't understand me, and I didn't understand them.

Besides, people with AS have a lot of trouble paying attention to things that don't interest them.

I think the way you express yourself proves that you're not an unintelligent person. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Our strengths usually coincide with our interests, and we're not as good at things that we find boring. That's perfectly normal, and it may be even more typical for an Aspie because of the way we focus on things.

Well, likedcalico has said that PDD-NOS fits her more accurately than the Asperger's criteria.  And she also said that part of the reason she feels PDD fits better is because of certain learning difficulties.

My argument is that many with Asperger's have learning disabilities and cognitive difficulties, even cognitive delay.  I don't see why these problems would make it less likely that one has Asperger's, and more likely that PDD-NOS is the proper label.

Calico also said she had a problem with "self-help" skills and that's something that led her to think Asperger's may be the wrong diagnosis.  But I don't know what means... what do you mean by probelms with "self-help" skills?

I did have some minor delays with these things, but it wasn't because I couldn't do them.  I think it's because I was adjusted to the routine of other people, like my mother, doing them for me!

Not brushing teeth till age 8 is not something I can relate to.  I did "comb my own hair" a bit late, but that was probably due to dyspraxia and also just avoiding it.  I did also wash my own hair late, actually probably the same age as you--age 9.  That's something that matches up quite well with your story, but that's just one thing.

Another thing that was delayed was sleeping by myself at night, I was just afraid of the dark and I needed a night light or someone else to be near.  I don't remember what age it was when I "shed" all that, though.  But I was hypersensitive to my own imagination, and that made being in the dark alone scary for me.

In grade school I didn't have any cognitive "delays."  I was right on target with everything esp. Verbal, however I wasn't that good in Math.  But I learned Math by repetition and that was good enough for grade school.

I did also have reading comprehension difficulties in grade school but these were very minor--in every other way, my verbal ability was quite accelerated for a kid my age.

When I got to high school, though, my deficit with abstract thinking and also mathematics started becoming problematic, and the social complexity of late adolescence really became overwhelming.  That's when I had my first complete breakdown--I became a paranoid, nervous wreck in 11th grade, and had to go to therapy.

From what I hear, that "breakdown" period is right on target.. I have heard that Aspies can get through grade school with "relative ease" (my brother got through a lot easier because of math skills), and then they start to develop serious difficulties in high school, socially and in some cases (because of abstract thinking problems) with school work.

In conclusion, I had some minor delays with self-help skills, but this is probably mostly from Dyspraxia.  And I enjoyed the routine of people doing things for me.

Thoughts?

Do you mean you hear something and it only 'clicks' (you suddenly understand it) a few hours/days/weeks etc. later? In that case yes I get that a lot too. I often just nod in conversations, or shake my head or otherwise gesture that I don't know when people ask me things and I don't understand what they are saying.

Sometimes that happens when I get asked for directions and then a few hours later or the next day I'll suddenly realise what they'd actually asked for, and more often than not I actually knew the directions to the place they were looking for.
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I get this all the time.  A lot of the time I don't get what someone is saying, then later on at night I think about what happened during the day.  That's when I'm free to analyze what was said... and then I "get it."

Also days and weeks later, in some cases.  It should have been obvious, but for some reason, it wasn't obvious for me.  I have to analyze a lot of things manually, to understand them.

I lack this "social intuition."  I do it by association (using longterm memory of social situations) and also intensive analysis.

Yeah, none of this is really that familiar.  I was at grade level with everything--I wasn't in the "accelerated" or "gifted" group (there were two groups in grade school, one "regular" one "gifted") I was just in the regular group.

I was also very inconsistent with certain subjects/activities, at times I amazed my classmates, other times I was just horrible.  Probably due to ADD.  And also the social intuition problem of AS.

Yeah, but I still think it's worth my while to get tested for Asperger's.

It's not going to solve anything but it's good to know that I am "not the only one like me," you know what I mean?

By the way I should point out I did have more difficulty dressing myself than others, when I was a kid.  I used to have other people do it for me sometimes, as I was just frustrated with those things.  I don't know why this would make one less likely to have Asperger's, though.  Even people without development disorders have "quirks" in early childhood.

In conclusion, yes, I had problems with self-help skills and adaptive behavior, both.

But I wonder if it was because of dyspraxia.  I have always had this problem of not being able to tell left from right well ...  anyone familiar with this problem?

It was quite the opposite with me.  I liked people to do things for me, because I was often confused as to how to do them, by myself.

I still couldn't figure out how to cover a textbook, even by the time I got to high school.  So I would have a classmate help me with it, because on my own, I would have no idea where to start.

It was with lots of sequential directions that I had difficulty.

I have also always had trouble with left vs right. I don't seem to have a natural sense of which way is which, so I usually have to actually think about it to get it right. I've always had the same problem with reading a non-digital clock...I can do it, but it always takes effort because it just doesn't come naturally.

LOL, that happened to me all the time when I was young.  I was like the absent-minded professor with stupid things like that, people would tell me if you're smart (I was ahead of grade level verbally, in some ways, well ahead) why do you have such trouble following directions, why do you forget "the obvious" so much?

I realize my initial response was not on-target, but let me tell you, I am exactly the same way as you put here.  I ask people to repeat themselves a lot, especially a long set of directions, I have to "get certain facts" just right otherwise I forget them.

I have a delay with auditory input, be it with people in a social environment, or dialogue in a movie.  That's why when I rent a movie/DVD, etc, I often put the subtitles on because I understand the dialogue at a faster rate.

I am a lot better if I can see the words, rather than having to use my short-term memory to process auditory information.  I learn associatively, as well, I have noticed.

We appear to have a similar kind of neural set-up, Noetic.

You mentioned your ex had Borderline Personality.  Kind of interesting that I am also likely to have it.

Yes, I have serious problems understanding someone with a strong accent, much worse (I have noticed) than most people.

I also have a very hard time making out lyrics to songs, I just can't figure out what the singer's words are, half the time.  I have gotten better over time, but when I was younger, I always used to mistake the actual lyrics for what I thought it sounded like.

I also have difficulty remembering the words to a song, even if I know them!  It comes out of sequence.  Unless I have heard a song a few hundred times or so, I can't play the lyrics in the correct order.  The lyrics seem to jump around, out of order.

A propos mishearing things: At work the guy opposite me does a lot of Marketing calls, and I keep hearing him order "a small man" (van)

LOL I always hear people say funny things they really aren't saying, and I think it's quite humorous.

I tend to laugh at a lot of things other people don't find funny.  My sense of humor has always been strange/offbeat.

Some people have also said I had a gift for humor because I would notice strange/incorrect lyrics in songs.  When I told them what I heard they thought it was amusing.

Does Poetry etc. work better for you? (Doesn't for me, if anything it's worse with something that's not sung as the music can be used as a cue - I can't sing in tune anyway mind you)
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Yeah, exactly as you say here, because the music can't be used as a cue.

People also thought it was odd that I have amazing skills with prose/descriptive writing, but I couldn't understand or write poetry, at all.  Most poetry=reading comprehension in the extreme, and that is not a strong ability of mine.