You may be Aspie or it could be PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified) or it could *simply* (sarcastic comment from me) be a behavioural problem.
The issue that I see is more along the lines of why you want or are considering a diagnosis/label that incorporates Autism Spectrum Disorder. Would the diagnosis be a 'nappy' to you or would it be (as it was for me), a "thank God for that"? For me, it was not an excuse for my behaviour, but a reason ... an understanding.
I thank you for the words: "opaque to me". I would like to use them because that describes the NT world.
The swamp is still there, NT life is still difficult to comprehend, but *I know that I know* ... I am not bad. I am not mad.
There are people *like me* out there. I am not alone. *We* are NOT alone.
ASD = a different perspective on life.
Just thought, have you tried this test?
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
Take The AQ Test
Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge's Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger's report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives.
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I came up with this today: "AS is AS I am."
I think the reason that you are insisting you have Asperger's (you may or may not; I have no opinion on this point) is that you want to know what the problem is, what the hindrances are that are keeping you back; because if you know this, then you know your problems are definable and therefore solvable. This was my own motivation for seeking a diagnosis (I was eventually diagnosed with AS, along with a whole host of other problems).
My opinion is that your problems are solvable. That goes whether they stem from Asperger's, from something like ADHD or OCD or something not yet defined, or from some other problem and complicated by Asperger's.
Rather than insisting on a particular diagnosis, insist on help for your problems, whatever label can be given to them. And stop believing the people who are disparaging your character, despite your attempts to better it. All they can expect of you is that you do your best--and "your best" includes effort you have to exert against any problems with organization or motivation--and if they expect more of you than that, then they're just being unrealistic.
Re. "I was eventually diagnosed with AS, along with a whole host of other problems"--I don't actually think most of those "other problems" are correct diagnoses. At the moment I fit criteria for Asperger's, ADHD, depression (in remission), and mild PTSD. The docs are trying to stick "Borderline Personality" and "OCD" on my chart, too, but they're wrong about those. If I keep going the way I am, they'll be wrong about depression and PTSD too.
Batman55, even if the other dx's you've had seem inadequate to explain your problems, they might be useful if they qualify you for help at a vocational rehab agency...I don't know whether you have one near you, but it is worth looking into. At least you might be guided into a job and work environment that you can cope with.
*roots for you* 
Batman 55, just about all your symptoms sound the same as mine and I have an official diagnosis of Aspergers. It was very rude of your therapist to say a diagnosis would be like a "nappy" for you. We all want to assign meaning to things that baffle us, and that includes the reason for feeling that we are different to others.
Oops, I just realised I put a space in your name when I shouldn't have. I was always getting told I was immature and/or selfish as well as lazy. It was baffling to my parents that I could be very intelligent but yet not be able to cope with social situations or taking on adult responsibilities.
Batman55, take a deep breath and count to 10 otherwise you're going to explode!
You gave some basic information and asked for people's opinions.
You didn't like some of those opinions but instead of calmly responding to those opinions and explaining why you still feel you're Aspie and why you're a bit atypical -- although what exactly is 'normal' and atypical? -- you came back not just defensive, but quite aggressive and hostile.
Calm down!
Perhaps other people could also have phrased their responses better: instead of saying no you've not got AS they could have asked: do you have any stims, do you have any obsessions instead of assuming you don't have them.
There's just been some simple misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Because we're Aspie. That's what we do.
Join the club!
You may or may not be Aspie, but you seem to have a lot of insight and to have read widely about not just AS but other possible diagnoses, and you seem to be quite certain that AS is what fits. It's possible that you also have some of the other diagnoses as co-morbids, so there's no need to get too tetchy if people point out similarities between some of your traits and other conditions. There's often an overlap.
I think the main thing is to try and find an expert who you can get a referral to, someone who specialises in diagnosing AS in adults. I've just had a four year battle with medical professionals who thought I didn't have AS in order to get a referral and diagnosis to an expert, but eventually I succeeded and I was proven right.
After reading all that I have come to the conclusion that you show alot of aspie traits and so I think you are aspie. I have many stims but bouncing my leg is a common one. My obssesions seem to loop also, but over a large time period.
Reacting in an extreme manner to sensory overloads, taking this apart, being good at maths, or being interested in scientific things are all aspie stereotypes, but they are not nessaceraly true. There are plenty of aspies who are not good at maths, some even qualify for dyscalculia. I myself don't like to take things apart. If I did and I couldn't put it back together again, the thing would be ruined. And there are plenty of aspies that are of the 'arty' type, who's interests are not scientific, there was somewhere on this site once that described 'aspie types', I didn't seem to fit any of them though, but they were made for people that may have read the stereotypical aspie descriptions and found that they didn't fit them. I don't react in an extreme manner to a sensory overload, like screaming or something. I do react but in a much more internalised way.
Also ADD and OCD are common co-morbids of AS.
Hi Batman, I can really sense your frustration. I can relate to it. As, I'm sure, so many others here can too.
When 'experts' with no specialist expertise or knowledge of AS offer a (mis-)diagnosis, there are two particularly common conditions they seek to label Aspies with: females are often given the label 'Borderline Personality Disorder' (the catch all for they don't know what else it is!) for males, they are often given schizotypal diagnoses.
And as the old joke goes: just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
You've been in a Catch 22 situation for so long -- the more you're insistent that they're wrong, the more you confirm their (possibly incorrect) diagnosis.
I know how that feels. I went through that for years and have only just broken out of the cycle.
Again, I'm not saying either way whether or not you have AS or any other diagnosis for that matter.
But I think the starting point is for people here to accept that you believe you're Aspie. It's only by accepting that hypothesis and then testing it that you can eventually reach a conclusion.
Yes, some of us might be sceptical or disbelieving, because you don't seem to tick all the boxes, but again, be patient and understanding, we're generally logical types: it's black or white, 1 or 0, and if you don't tick all the boxes, some will conclude that you're not.
In my experience though, because I'm a bit atypical, we all present differently. One of the things I find annoying about the Temple Grandin effect is that we're all supposed to be the same -- this is what AS is like. It's not. We're not all the same.
Again, calm down.
Like you, I had some 'expert' telling me I couldn't be Aspie because I was self-aware: In my case, realised I didn't make friends like my peers, and I wanted to.
But that's one of the major differences between classical autism and AS: Aspies are often all too acutely aware of their deficits or developmental delays and differences, which can often compound the problems we face.
There are many co-morbidities that present with AS although not everyone has them, or even the same ones. These *can* include:
dyspraxia, dyslexia, echolalia, synaesthesia, clinical depression, ADD, ADHA, dyscalculia, sensory overload, OCD and so on.
Some of these will overlap with AS, some seem to evolve as distractions/coping mechanisms.
We're all the same in that we're all different.
Just feel free to ask questions but don't take it too personally and don't be too offended if you encounter some equally strong opposing opinions. We're all here trying to explore who and what we are.
Enjoy!
"There's just been some simple misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Because we're Aspie. That's what we do."
Lulu, you are so smart and funny -- i love your posts.
Why, thank you kind sir!
I am exactly the same way. It's internal. A really loud, strange noise tends to bother me, but I don't scream.
Yep me too. I do stim sometimes to tune out noises etc. but when something is sudden etc. basically my vision cuts out (white flash) or my hearing and it's like my brain reboots, and then I'm just even more shut away than I normally am, so I *can't* externalise the reaction.
I think I've been getting worse with sudden loud noises as now I tend to say "oh shit!" and cover my ears or just cover my ears and start rocking.
I'm not sure externalising your reaction always means "getting worse". Communicating your shock/fear/pain is better than being frozen by it, I should imagine (can't be good having all that undealt-with crap pile up in your head).
Noetic, there was an undealt with crap pile in my head for many years and it has only been since I was an adult that I started externalising it. I can still remember occasions years later when I was bothered by severe noises or people yelling at me.
Since receiving an official diagnosis of Asperger's, I don't hold in all the irritation as well as I used to. I thought that meant I was getting worse but maybe it doesn't??
Why are you wearing diapers? Is it medical or just for fun or comfort?
How immature are you? I like kid shows below the teen range and I like toys and all and I am far beyond aspie. To my boyfriend I act too immature below how aspies act and to him I'm more of a 2-8 year old range because odd the things I like and the shows I like. PDD fit me perfectly when we looked it up last night and the AS criteria,
the last three didnt meet me. One of the reasons is because of my hearing loss so it caused the speech delay and the other two, I have cognitive delays and other problems aspies dont have and I meet the PDD so I shouldn't hace been given a DX on AS.
So you if you had problems in cognitive, self help skills, adaptive behavior for your age, then you might be PDD because apsies don't have those delays except for social interaction.