Well I work at the cafeteria at the university I attend. Yesterday I was on my 15-minute break, AKA my chance to eat, and I didn't feel like eating in front of other people (the caf was so crowded) so I grabbed a plate of food and took it in the back, where only employees go. More specifically, I went to the locker room. I was in the middle of eating (and pacing back and forth) when this woman came in and said "Hello?! Is there anyone in here?!" I said "Yeah" and came out from behind the locker-thingy. This woman was one of the higher-ups in the company that runs the cafeteria, I think. There was someone else with her, some guy wearing a business suit. It looked like she was giving him a tour or something. She looked at me and said "Are you on your break? You have to clock out." You don't have to clock out for 15-minute breaks, but I just said "ok." She must have thought I was on a half-hour break. But anyway, I don't know why she assumed I hadn't clocked out. She said "What are you doing back here?" I said "I didn't feel like eating in front of people." She said "Are you supposed to be working?" I said "No cuz Art (my supervisor) told me to go on my 15-minute break." She said "Well then eat out front. You don't want to be eating back here."
Sheesh. I just wanted to be alone. Is that such a crime? More specifically, I don't like eating in front of other people but I don't think that's an Aspie thing. And I also don't understand why she automatically became suspicious that I was doing something wrong and breaking the rules or something. Because I want to be alone, I'm doing something wrong? Anyway I wish people would mind their own business and butt out. No matter how hard I try to get away from people, there's always people everywhere! They follow me everywhere! This is getting a little out of hand. I should call an exterminator.
I find this very funny as it happens to me alot. I look for a quiet place to sit and moments later everyone is there too. I take my nephews to the cinema early so we can sit alone, the cimena is almost empty and someonelse will sit with us. I also don't like public eating as stress gives me excess acid and I often 'choke' on food or I get 'jaw-lock'. I agree people should mind their own business. You are on your break and they should leave you alone. If it was me I would add the time all this conversation took to my break and take a longer one.
People leave me alone most of the time so they must think I like being alone. There are a couple of exceptions now and that isn't a bad thing as we have been starting to work on finishing a jigsaw puzzle during our breaks.
Some people are just natural directors and tend to be control freaks assuming other people need their help. If they are given a position of authority it's really hard for them to resist the urge to tell people what to do and micromanage. Rather than think of her as rude and insensitive, think of her as having a need to control in order for her to feel comfortable that she has a hard time fighting and that makes it hard to see other's needs, just like you have a need to eat alone that you have a hard time resisting.
Also, she might have thought she was doing her job as a 'higher up' to give you instruction and guidance or keep things in the store from being chaotic by making sure people don't just do whatever they want, like eating in a place not designated for eating.
There might be other reasons not to eat in the back - a lot of places worry about rodents and if you drop food back there when you eat there all the time she could have been meaning 'you don't want to eat back here' as a nice way to say 'I don't want you to eat back here'.
I know what you mean about eating... I'd often rather go without eating than eat alone and/or eat alone while in the company of others eating. If that makes sense.
Oh: Don't eat anywhere that's considered a "restroom"--bathroom, locker room, changing room. That makes NTs squeamish.
I guess I have to play the NT here; I consider eating in the bathroom, locker room, or changing room icky.
I think, though, that when an NT says that he wants to be alone, he doesn't really mean ALONE, just away from the main crowd. Not lone alone. Most NT's don't get that and think they are doing you a favor by "keeping you company."
I get it. I like to be lone alone.
I get annoyed when people want to small talk in public. I am not good at it and get really uncomfortable, but I do not have the nerve to say "I want to be left alone."
Maybe she thought you were smuggling food out of the cafeteria by putting it in your mouth and sneaking out the back door and selling it to terrorists.
Or maybe she has a stick up her ***.
I guess the latter seems more likely.
There is no reason to think that, mrt6812. Nothing the person said was characteristic of the way one talks to a "shy" person.
She was on her break and should just be left alone. If her break is interupted by a work matter, like where she should eat, she should add that converstion time to her break. In the UK employers have to make space available for staff to take breaks away from the work place. So I don't think any of the options Liz had or the employer gave were right.
rossco, if they were in jr. high school and equals, maybe...
I suppose another comeback could have been "well, there were no seats left in the cafeteria, and besides, I like the quietness in here".
Leinda @ #19 -- Exactly. It was quite the little Inquisition, demanding that Liz 'justify" herself and her choice of where to eat, as if the woman's whole sense of World Order were somehow under attack because Liz was in "The Wrong Room" doing "The Wrong Thing." It was the sort of intrusive questioning you direct at someone suspected of a crime.
In my fantasy version, Liz just says "It's a sandwich, cow. What's your problem?" And the guy in the suit says, "She's right, cow. What is your problem?"
"I can't imagine eating in the student center.... "
Next to the gym, the lunch room is the most socially brutal place at school.
Yes, and what about the shite you're likely to get when you go to sit at a table and some idiot says "sorry, you can't sit here, all these places are saved". Now I know this could be true if it happens once, but if it happens at several successive tables, then I don't think so.
I had this kind of rubbish happen to me in a residential hall and wish I'd had the courage to just plonk myself down at the table anyway. Even if the bossy woman had moved elsewhere, at least she would have known I couldn't be so easily intimidated.
Whoa, I wasn't expecting nearly this many replies. I haven't been on AFF for a couple weeks. I guess this is kind of a delayed response, but how touching
Yeah maybe I really was selling food to terrorists or something like that so it's a good thing she made me leave the room *snort* And Rossco, I adore the fart idea, too bad I didn't think of that. And the thing about "hearing voices in my head" well that was clever too. I think I would be in big trouble though if I actually said that, hehe
Wow, your personality seems like a pretty rare one. Either that or it's not but not that many people talk about it. Sometimes I get worried about making too many friends cuz I'm afraid they won't understand if I want to be alone and they might get offended. Some people can be really understanding about that, though, and won't get offended if you explain things to them--like why you don't want to talk at the moment.