You son is a lucky kid to have someone willing to help him. I never did. I think my problem has always been getting hints that people do no like me or do not want to be my friend. My wife says I am imagining it. I get my feelings hurt often and I am oftne told I was rude to someone and hurt their feelings, but I am not sure why. This makes having friends very difficult.
I remember having to explian to my son David why people laughed..and what a joke was, but to never laugh when people were making fun of other people. He had to learn that the cue was others lauhging...when some one told a joke or a funy story, you look for laughing and laugh along. He said "oh"....and looked at me like he was digesting a huge peice of pie. He's 23 now..and it seemed to have worked.
well then i am very happy that your son has a mother like you.
i like reading what you write cos you write in a way that makes me understand...
Yes... keep writing... But dang!
I also thought 7oclock a "dad". Thought I found another dad in the midst of all this. So, Mum... Thanks for your contributions!!!
Beammeup
I really like this thread.
So... when someone is teasing you it ISN'T necessary to correct their false assumptions?
Thank you very much for your advice 7oclock. Have you ever considered writing a book with articles like these? Seriously, they would help a lot of people understand what to do in certain situations.
Another example is she talked about having kids for an hour and a half with me. I just called her out and asked her what her feelings were etc. The only thing is, is that I dream of having relationships but when it actually happens I'm so anxious I want to break it off. I don't like the girl calling or stuff like that. Usually relationship things. I don't understand why. Then I convince myself I was much happier alone. Its a battle against the brain.
Sarah Joke, I didn't really have feelings for her (this time) but what I'm upset over (and can't understand the reason why) is because she did that in the first place. I just don't like people who do that. People who are generally nice and then turn around and play you.
I'm sorry for turning this into Doctor Phil but still, how can I be such a "great friend" if I've only hung out with her twice. I've only talked to her on msn maybe 3 times in the last year. I don't get it. What is this game?
Explicitly teaching your son to look for hints can work.
I could not unconsciously learn social rules or interpret or send nonverbal communication.
But I can consciously.
With a Master's in sociology I have more than enough intellectual background to know how to navigate predictable situations and even to (very carefully and consciously) read subtle nonverbal facial and body language. It is still hard to tell my facial muscles to smile, though, especially when caught off guard.
It is not going to be a fine dance, though, more like a linear approximation of a scatterplot, although well enough to get the job done.