I have got the impression from a few books that I have read that Aspie's tend to be confrontational and rude. I know that I come across as rude to people because I just do not interact or socialise properly, but this is not by design - I want to be friendly and 'normal'.
However, I am *extremely* unconfrontational - I will always dodge an argument just to keep the peace, and often find myself taken advantage of as a result.
In many social/work situations I constantly go out of my way to assure that nobody is offended by me, and usually end up looking a blubbering idiot as a result. I find confrontation extremely hard to stomach.
How about you lot? :o)
I've been described as standoffish by more than one person, but I've been described as really polite and cordial by more than that. I think I tend to let people walk all over me to a point and then kind of throw it back on them when they're not expecting it, possibly because I'm bipolar. It's been a constant struggle for self improvement in that sector over the past few years. Back in my high school days when I would drink and go to parties I had a tendency to flip out on my friends. I don't do it anymore, but I recognize that the reasons I used to were real and not just stuff I made up (almost always due to the feeling of being excluded). Incidentally, I'm a libertarian.
Im not confrontational unless I know the person is wrong & they think their right. I avoid arguments like the plauge. When I was in Primary School I was always considered the quiet student but thats cos I was terrified of getting in trouble. Plus the rules from my understanding was that while in class u had to be polite, not speak unless spoken to & sit quietly so I did those. Though during Sports lessons I was a completly different person, cos we werent in a class room & i thought sports were stupid so I didnt give a *** if I got in trouble. Im sure my teacher must have thought I had a split personality or something. A good 1 & a disruptive/anti-social 1...
aspie44.8 - My parents figured out I was anti-social as hell when I was really young, so when I got a TV in my room I just started taking my food to my room. they didnt complain if anything it made it easier for them to have 'normal' convos. To this day I still do, even on xmas when my whole family is around they all gather around the table & i quietly go to my room, nobody complains cos they know thats just how i am. At family gatherings the only time I "make an appearence" is when im either getting a drink (damn caffine addiction) or Im getting food.
if i see an injustice being perpitrated,i cannot help but speak up.(unless its somebody who has,in the past,been :evil: towards me,in which case i laugh inside......)
oh yes,and as mercury said,if somebody i wrong but they are *convinced* that they are right,i will,and have,gotten out eference books to prove my case.
especially if they say,and i quote "your not autistic,people with that are complete retards and your smart"
:smashes head in wall:
God tell me about it. A few weeks back I was talking to the friend of an NT friend cos my NT friend had to quickly do something.. & I told him i have alot of probs & apparently so does he & he wanted to know 1 so I said well I have tourettes & then he started making all these stupid noises & Im just like wat r u doing & hes like u said u have Tourettes right, people with that make weird noises (this seems to be wat every1 who is missinformed thinks, u say u got it & they think u just make weird sounds all day long) & i said I dont have the vocal 1s & then he asked then wat do u do in a confused voice & i said I only have the physical 1s & his response to that was "well thats not tourettes thats epliepsy" & Im like ahh no its tourettes & he didnt believe me & i said if u actually bothered to read about it on the net u'll see I'm right & he was like ok I'll look it just to proove to u that u dont have it..... Well I doubt he even bothered to cos he think he knows everything. Okay mate u may be an expert at ur own problems but dont act like 1 about mine...
Discovering my "flat effect" and directness are often percieved as confrontational was a revelation to me.
It is ironic because Myers-Briggs personality tests indicate I have a strong desire to avoid confrontation.
NT's often "read between the lines" when there is nothing written there, compounding the problem.
Oddly, pasting on a smile (practiced in the mirror) before speaking seems to help.
Peace.
yeah...there are times when i say things i regret seconds later,from having put my point of view accross.my mum is the worst culprit-if you say something she does not agree with,she sort of...inflates,and punishes me...
:unfair:
I certainly am confrontational though at work I tone it down into a more constructive form but am certainly still considered very direct by my colleagues but it has stood me in good stead.
In my personal life I also temper myself and my friends are used to me and don't get upset by it, with strangers is when I am most reserved and realise the effect my true self would have in these situations.
On the internet I am the most confrontational and is a good outlet for it. If something annoys me I let rip and I make no appologies for it. If people are offended thats their problem.
well,on the internet (in mmo's anyway)
if somebody starts bothering me,i'll add them to my ignore list.
if they start harrasing me,or stealing my monsters/resources/being a >bleep<.then i'll teleport them/myself away.
most people get bored once you add them to the ignore list
I'd have to agree with that... It takes a lot to get a rise out of me, and it usually has to be scientific in nature. One time in a restaurant I got into a debate with my mom's boyfriend's nephew (who was like 22) because he said that rattlesnakes could breed with garter snakes to produce a venomous gartersnake (they can't). What an idiot. Garter snakes and rattlesnakes are completely unrelated, and there's is no way in hell that, even if they did mate with each other (extremely unlikely), the mating would produce any sort of embryo.
you like snakes then,huh?
favorite species thereof?
cool.im not going to pretend i know anything about reptiles or fish.i dont.hmm...that sounds abrupt...
but,looking at your profile,i see you have made a profession from it.
alas,the...market for my interest is somewhat....flooded right now...(ICT)
although...i did have a huge thing with rockets of all types a few years back,especially the early O(aq)2/H(aq)2 propellents...and i know,for some reason,a massive amount about modern warfare and weaponry.
im also told i'm a good tactician...anyone played Total Annihilation?
i rule at that game...now ive played Supreme Commander,and i need a new PC...*holds back from listing what is wanted on said pc,how much it will cost,and the total processing power/memory of said system*