If I feel crap, I say "crap thanks" and give a weak laugh. If I feel good, I say "I feel good" in this really OTT way. Sometimes I can force myself to play along, but really... whats the point in asking if you're just going to pretend together?
I also really really hate when people smile at you for no reason as a hello. It freaks me out
This is my pet peeve. People are always asking 'How are you?' (Or cultural equivalent if this is just a UK thing!!)
I haven't a clue how to answer this stupid question. Apparently you are supposed to say "I'm fine thanks/not too bad, how are you?". I can't do that, because its illogical - what is the point of saying something so mundane, pointless and ultimately untrue?
I went through a phase of actually taking the question literally and telling people exactly how I was. It got some very negative reactions. Nowadays I tend to just grunt 'alright' under my breath, which sort of works, although people think I'm just rude.
Sometimes I manage with great effort to squeeze the 'proper' socially correct phrase out of my vocal chords, but I add some silly accent or pitch. Its as if my brain literally can't cope with these stupid social etiquette rules.
I'd be okay if you could just say 'hi', or 'hello' and just be done with it.
I agree with you on this. People don't as a whole really give a *** so again what is the point in asking unless you actually care. At least Aspies don't pretend.............we either care or we don't.
This question disturb me, when someone asks me, I often answer I'm right, or if I answer I'm not okay, I tell why, and finally the person tells me it doesn't interested him or her what I say !
My usual stock response is "oh, pretty good"
I HATE being asked this. I never even thought about why until I read this thread.
I've always done the "whole past week's triumphs and woes in one massive outburst" answer.
Then I have trouble asking them how they are. I just hate that asking back. It feels so awkward and fake. And I am panicking then for what on earth to say next.
Why can't people just say "morning" or nothing. Why ask a damned annoying question that starts out by making me feel uncomfortable?
However, having read through some of these answers, I now realise I must learn a stock phrase of "all right, how are you" and put it back at them. I need to practice one of them smile things too and a bit of eye contact. God how false that will all feel. But probably easier than the usual awkwardness.
... just need to learn my lines, remember to use them, then stand there nodding gently at them I believe. Ball .... back in their court. Time for a breather on my part until they ask the next dumb question: "How's your... family/dog/mother/car/job ...." damn them!
Small talk. Should be banned!
I always answer with, "Well enough, Yourself?" Nearly always... Don't let it get to you, its just a formality.
YES!! i am entirely irritated by that whole "interaction" i agree totally, i think it is a complete waste of time & breath. i get that SILENT RESPONSE, all the time. my thought process is this... you asked me a question. if you dont REALLY want the answer? dont ask. if you are going to venture to ask someone that question, you had better anticipate a REAL answer.
i have come to realize also that the standard response is easier than to get that awkward feeling that they really dont care.
i only ask the question myself if i truly want to know how someone is doing. i am neurotypical, at least i THINK
i've self-diagnosed me to some degree of AS, (i have an 11 yr old son with AS) but i have always been agitated by the "greeting".
just say "good morning" or "morning" or whatever... if you just want to acknowlege my presence & go on ur merry way.
lately i have been just saying, "good, thanks" that way i am not silently waiting & breaking my stride for a response i'll never get.
Yeah I hate the question and I tend not to ask "how are you" back (unless it's someone I like) because I know they won't give me a real answer either.
I usually reply with "Terrible. Haven't had a good day in ten years. Yourself?" The reaction from people is hilarious, because they did not really expect an answer beyond "fine."
Seriously, i dont think that NT's really mean it as a question, it's more of a socially normal form of "Hello." I try to remember that, and choose to just have fun with their question.
I used to panic and scramble to think of how to answer the question honestly, but briefly. The asker usually saw me standing there with my mouth hanging open with a deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face. Then they'd walk off and leave me standing there until I came back to my senses.
Once I thought about it and concluded that it was a pointless exchange, I didn't answer. That got me in trouble for being cold and aloof.
Next, I tried to fake it. That really got under my skin. Then, I tried the "Cold!" or "Tired!" or other deflections. Honest answers that dodged having to ask back.
At some point - I don't remember where in the order it came - I couldn't help but laugh when it was asked, it just struck me as hillarious! Had to stop that because it tended to pi$$ people off.
Nowadays, I just say "morning" or "hi" and leave it at that. It's a greeting anyway, and not a question. Besides, I'm tired of dodging, finessing (if that's a word), or pretending to be an NT to accomodate them. What do others think about that? Don't know, don't care.
This is my pet peeve. People are always asking 'How are you?' (Or cultural equivalent if this is just a UK thing!!)
I haven't a clue how to answer this stupid question. Apparently you are supposed to say "I'm fine thanks/not too bad, how are you?". I can't do that, because its illogical - what is the point of saying something so mundane, pointless and ultimately untrue?
I went through a phase of actually taking the question literally and telling people exactly how I was. It got some very negative reactions. Nowadays I tend to just grunt 'alright' under my breath, which sort of works, although people think I'm just rude.
Sometimes I manage with great effort to squeeze the 'proper' socially correct phrase out of my vocal chords, but I add some silly accent or pitch. Its as if my brain literally can't cope with these stupid social etiquette rules.
I'd be okay if you could just say 'hi', or 'hello' and just be done with it.
LOL IM LAUGHINHG CUSE I ASK THIS QUSTION TO WHY DOI THEY ASK YOU BUT THEY DONT REALLY WANT TO KNOW VI GUSS IT JUST A SOCIAL THING
Ha, I usually reply to this question without answering, I tend to just say, how's it going? as soon as they ask. Tends to work, and it pushes the focus off of you.
Depends on my mood, most of the time its a 'fine thanks' when I'm walking past anyway. I don't do small talk and never will do it. Its useless.
I respond honestly to what ever mood that I am feeling at the time I am asked the question 'How are you?' Most of the time it apparently makes people stop talking to me and they talk to someone else. I'm honest and so, if by being honest and giving an honest answer to my mood then what forces people to go away than that is there problem for not accepting honesty.
I hate not being left alone for one minute.
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