I am honest and I can tell by the way people responde if they really meant it or not because they'll ask follow up questions or they'll be uncomfortable. Most of my friends ask because they genuinely care and I don't talk to many people that I don't know well.
I also ask the question, and when I do I mean it... or I don't ask.
I usually take the question literally and answer it accordingly after a moment of thought.
I don't know why people ask how I am and most people who know me don't. In the petrol station tonight the cashier asked 'how are you' and I think I'm here to buy petrol and de-icer and washer fluid and a paper so in a way he already knows what was a priority to me at the time. When I am on the sales counter at work I just say 'Hello' because that is a nice greeting. I don't care how people are so I don't ask. I don't no why other people ask me, a stranger, either.
"I'm fine". That's pretty much it, no matter how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling really bad, I generally give a more positive reponse, such as "I'm good", because they'll be less likely to probe as to why I'm 'only fine'. Sometimes I answer honestly, if I feel I want to talk to them about it (This only happens to females, I feel more comfortable talking about feelings with them than even my closest friends).
I hate that question.. I dont think many people actually mean it when they say it.
Apart from most things everything's just fine! Sometimes I vary myself a little, using ancient words or out of date expressions that actually doesn't mean a thing.
You got riot
answers, Anna...
Fine
Ban that word, it does not even mean anything damn it.
I must disagree, that word means I don't have to think about an answer to a question someone else hasn't thought about.
The psychologist that I meet with once a month speaks 4 languages and understands 1 more. Last time I e-mailed her I greeted her in spanish which is a language that I only knew a few words and phrases in. I think it's an aspie trait to do those things.
Another thing I dislike is when I'm getting on or off a bus and the driver seems to have two stock phrases that are practically all he says: "Hey, how are you?" and "Take it easy, kid."
I can safely say drivers for First Manchester are not like that, you might get a grunt if you are lucky lol
Steve - I get where you are comingfrom. With a family member or a partner it may be that they genuinely care although it seems "habit" for them to ask how are you as much as it dos for you to reply fine. This is why I sometimes come accross as cold and a bit uncaring, especially when I don't aks the question back.
Some years ago, a young acquaintance was asked how she felt. She replied "sick, tired and bored!". I thought it was very descriptive.
Today i turn 54 years of age. can I safely say I have been asked 10,000 times "How are you?"
I haven't figured out a response yet. Sometimes I do the knee-jerk "fine" thing, but just as often the question takes me unaware in my ADHD fog and I mumble "I dunno."
I just this morning I heard someone respond to the question with a cheerful and enthusiastic "I'm doing great and I hope you are, too."
My first thought was, "Gee, I wish I were that sociaally adept and confident and fluent."
My second thought was, "Is he selling something, or is he a serial killer?"
That reminds me a bit of an incident a few weeks ago when this chap came up behind me and asked in a very friendly way "how are you?"
I responded rather suspiciously: "okay" because I thought he was wanting to sell me something but I think he was from the Youth with A Mission Church up the road and was genuinely trying to be friendly.
I then felt somewhat guilty for not responding more positively - it's kind of sad when we get to the stage where we think that strangers are nice to us because they want to sell something.
Initially, I feel confused. Especially if the question comes out of the blue. I never ask back how they are or ask the question first. It is intrusive to ask how someone are. Especially if there's no outward sign of anything.
WELCOME ANYWAYS KAZE-BEAR... When will Larele post?
And to answer the OP question I would use the word badly... Well, most of the time anyway...
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