Aspies For Freedom

I answer either 'fine', 'ok' or 'alright'. I never return the question since I don't care how they are.

I ask "How are you?" as a serious question and answer it serious too. Sometimes fine really means fine.

If I am not concentrating and somebody askes me "how are you doing?", I might answer "doing what?".

I try not to do that often, because it may seem rude, or worse it may ignite a conversation with somebody I don't want to talk to.

I usually just answer "All right, how are you" or "I'm OK".

What really bothers me is when I'm walking down a hall or sidewalk and someone else is walking the oposite direction towards me, and then they say "Hi, how are you?" while we're still far apart, so after answering, we're still facing each other and there's an awkward silence until I've completely passed them.

Another thing I dislike is when I'm getting on or off a bus and the driver seems to have two stock phrases that are practically all he says:  "Hey, how are you?" and "Take it easy, kid."
I've met one bus driver, however, who greets each passenger in a different language.  I thought that was cool, and since then I've tried to make a habit of saying hello in as many different languages as I can (about 10 languages).

My mother, without fail, always says "How are you?" within the first 10 seconds of seeing me, or indeed anyone else. The word "fine" automatically leaves my mouth without me even noticing, I've become so desensitised to it. I never ask it back though, I don't care how she is and don't want to continue this silly ritual. It's totally meaningless for me.

I usually just say "not bad and how about you?" because it's a good all-purpose answer. Occasionally, I say "I'm well etc," instead.

I really think that, most of the time, the person asking the question is totally unaware that they have actually asked a question - they are just automatically making a slightly more sophisticated noise than the greeting grunt that chimps make.

The perfect illustration of this is the response to my current favourite reply:

Shop assistant: "How are you?"

Me: "Hot!"

Shop assistant freezes, you can practically see the neurons firing as s/he trawls the short-term memory to work out what has just been said. Then confusion as s/he tries to engage the conscious brain and come up with an appropriate response.

Meantime, I'm watching with great amusement! This can quite cheer me up even when I'm feeling miserable, and has the added advantage of being true!

I suppose that when I leave Australia I'll have to come up with another reply......

Happy Birthday to YOU,

Happy Birthday to YOU,

Happy Birthday dear Ma-ax,

Happy Birthday to YOU!

Here's a big cyber-cake - blow out the candles!

It's even MORE edible - it improves as it matures!

Enjoy!

"Alright, you?"

I don't get too passionate

If it is someone I know I say "Do you want the truth or shall I just tell you I'm 'fine'? "

It is absurd.  I was in the hospital emergency room recently getting something checked out (a few of us went ice skating and I fell and really bumped my head badly, it wasn't just an egg sized lump, it was like I'd morphed into elephant man).

The doctor came into the cubicle and said Hello Miss EnglishLulu, how are you?  And I automatically responded.  Okay thanks.

And then it struck me how absurd it was.  So I burst out laughing and said, well, obviously, I'm not okay, or I wouldn't be here!  And the doctor smiled and said:  Don't worry, it's my trick question.

I did used to take it literally years ago, but then either read or realised you weren't actually supposed to tell people how you were feeling lousy, because you had caught the cold that was going round, and you were upset because the cat got run over...

My usual response is to list every step of what I'm doing. Then people say, No I meant HOW are you?" and then I say OH -oh, okay.

At one point, when in junior high, my dad would ask that question everyday after school. At this point though, I had trained myself to give the automated response of "Great!" So when he asked me that on the worst day of my life, then I said, "Great!"

I have been told by some NTs that the "Exhausted.. I just..." line is considered rude or improper or something, but I hear NTs say it all the time, and nobody ever looks/acts/says later on that they're offended or make complaints about their demeanor.

Business? There's a BUSINESS?!

No, but I'd say just that: "How are you?"

Alternatively, I am better with scripts than replying based upon my day. Though repeating the same script multiple times in a day, it get's exhausting! I wish there was a hand signal you give in place of a standard "Fine, thanks" or "Good, how about you?"

If I am asked after school is over, if I have any homework, usually I will take 30 or 40 minutes to answer this, let alone a vague HOW ARE YOU?!

Yreah, scripts, just better. Downside though is that resultant on the worst day of my life my dad asked me how my day was I and said "Great!" and he had to go to work a couple hours later, so I never got to tell him about the awful things the school counselor condoned on me. Timing, and initiating speech -- why can't we all be on the INTERNET???