When I was little, like 4 or 5, I remember answering someone with a longer-than-acceptable answer and apparently whomever I was with (can't remember if it was my mom or dad) didn't approve of my answer. I remember being told that all you had to say was "I'm fine" so...that's what I usually do. If I have a bad day/week/etc, like when my mom was in the hospital and I got to school and someone asked me, I said "I'm all right" because after all, I am all right, even if I was stressed out. I never asked back until late in high school when I finally realized you were supposed to ask back.
What I hate even moere is when people (one of the vets I work with, in particular) instead ask "What's up?" or "What's going on?" or "What do you know" because I'm not prepared for those and I usually just say "Nothing", then once when I did that the guy asked "You're a college student and you know nothing?" *sigh*
For 'how are you?' I always answer 'fine', for 'how do you feel?' I always answer 'good', ugh those questions are so empty.
I still like it because I know they ask those questions to make me feel comfortable, however I really don't.
For me it's much easier to answer questions like 'how was it?'.
I absolutely hate this question, they either don't care, don't need to know, or should already know. Whenever someone asks me this question, I'll either say "I'll live", "fine", or "good". And these can appear no matter how I feel. Though when I say "I'll live" people always seem to ask what's wrong >.<
I only ask this question when I actually care. Though apparently not asking how they are after they ask you is... rude? Well sorry for not caring >.>
@ ichtms - I could ask her to post today =)
You should try and find some really complicated word to greet someone with. I remember when I worked at Papa John's when you answered the phone you had to ask how they were. One guy said the most complicated and confusing question I'd ever heard @_@. Something about indubitably and whatnot. If you don't want them to ask again, that's how >.<
I think "How are you?" is standard greeting..somehow. I guess a response depends on a person's feelings for the day, or so far, is what I have learned. There is so much one can say to satisfy the inquiry, and a response can be looked at as several new words, so it's all very puzzling. (As an example: One person may say the word up, while another may say happy, and down to sad, but depending who the reciever is the reply may look quite different.) Kaze, your idea made me laugh, because I'm picturing the person(s) on the end of that response to be completely blank!
I wish people would actually answer that as they really are when asked, (aspies speaking) it would save a lot of confusion. Sure would beat, "well thanks" when you can easily see they couldn't get across the street without having to be hospitalised.
Well, answering any of the following "Terrible, Horrible, Really Sick, or Feels Like I Got Hit by a Mack Truck" did not win me any brownie points today.
@ Silver - That's mainly because, for some reason, people ask it without even the slightest care. I guess it's just a "Hi I'm just asking how you are though I couldn't care less just so we can kick off a conversation" or something >.<
Also, I noticed, that it seems ignoring the question altogether doesn't get too good of reviews either...
@ Larele - I was blank >.< there was like a 10 second moment of silence after which I struggled to ask them what they wanted while trying to figure out what the heck he said.
This is my pet peeve. People are always asking 'How are you?' (Or cultural equivalent if this is just a UK thing!!)
I haven't a clue how to answer this stupid question. Apparently you are supposed to say "I'm fine thanks/not too bad, how are you?". I can't do that, because its illogical - what is the point of saying something so mundane, pointless and ultimately untrue?
I went through a phase of actually taking the question literally and telling people exactly how I was. It got some very negative reactions. Nowadays I tend to just grunt 'alright' under my breath, which sort of works, although people think I'm just rude.
Sometimes I manage with great effort to squeeze the 'proper' socially correct phrase out of my vocal chords, but I add some silly accent or pitch. Its as if my brain literally can't cope with these stupid social etiquette rules.
I'd be okay if you could just say 'hi', or 'hello' and just be done with it.
Older thread I think BUT THIS IS, OMG, IS SOOOOOOOO TRUE... I Hate the question and I have never known how to reply, other then copy EVERYONE ELSE but I HATE to do it because 1) its not true, 2) its illogical and 3) its unneccersary and I think that its a crazy insincere plesentry that supposed to insinuate people give a sh1t when really 80% of the time they dont!
WELCOME ANYWAYS KAZE-BEAR... When will Larele post?
If they are annoying...then...I'd tell them the whole story..
Especially the really interesting parts...
LOL
For years I always said "I'm good." Just a couple of years ago I found out that I was supposed to ask them "and how are you?" Now I also say "not bad" as that's what they say in NZ/AU
EZ of course thats right after a ten minute monologue of the interior cooling system of Dr Who's Tardis. *grins* Seriously we do need to be wide awake for the other person is not listening cues, something I can't quite get right so I just restrict myself to a sentence. But of course, if the conversation hits the obsession I forget very fast. *yawn* zzz........ *yawn* (like when is he going to stop)
This is my pet peeve. People are always asking 'How are you?' (Or cultural equivalent if this is just a UK thing!!)
I haven't a clue how to answer this stupid question. Apparently you are supposed to say "I'm fine thanks/not too bad, how are you?". I can't do that, because its illogical - what is the point of saying something so mundane, pointless and ultimately untrue?
I went through a phase of actually taking the question literally and telling people exactly how I was. It got some very negative reactions. Nowadays I tend to just grunt 'alright' under my breath, which sort of works, although people think I'm just rude.
Sometimes I manage with great effort to squeeze the 'proper' socially correct phrase out of my vocal chords, but I add some silly accent or pitch. Its as if my brain literally can't cope with these stupid social etiquette rules.
I'd be okay if you could just say 'hi', or 'hello' and just be done with it.
I feel your pain... I've had the same problem before... but unfortunately if you are going to coexist with NTs then you have to play along. I eventually just had to accept responding to this greeting for the sake of my own sanity. It turns out that responding makes life a whole lot easier for everyone, if you can just outwardly drop your principles.
When you have the pleasure of being with other Aspies it won't be an issue. You can look forward to those brighter times. As for now that old unscrupulous saying applies:
"When in Rome, do as the Romans do."
If I know they don't really care I tell them
"I don't know".
usually along the lines of i'm alright, no matter how i'm feeling.
I usually lie and say something like "Fine, thanks." in Dutch. Saying "I'm doing terrible and I don't see the point of living anymore." usually results in annoying time-wasting conversation. I even ask the question to others, even though I don't care how they're doing. I do that in order to fit into the social norm so that I will be accepted until the New Age comes. Adults (teachers) often consider me as a really nice, bright, funny and extremely polite boy. That works greatly in my advance, since adults are usually more powerful than the annoying childish kids of my age, who mostly hate me.
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