One oral thing my mum managed to deter me from for a number of years was hair eating, but that was because she told me that if I carried on doing it I could die and then she showed me a newspaper article proving it. Maybe if you supplied proof to your claims, it may help.
Bob, Can you google the article? that sounds very interesting.
7oclock,
I sometimes chew pen lids. But many NTs chew their pen lids until 7th grade. i think Bob has a valid point about the fact that sometimes it can be fatal. Many autistic kids suffer from pica, the act of injesting non-food items. I used to eat sand from the playground, because I liked its crunchy texture and its dirty taste. Kids saw me putting sand in my shoes, and during class, i would stick my fingers in my shoes and put sand in my mouth. They were disgusted, and would even tell the teacher. But that didn't stop me. What stopped me was when I read a page online about botalism, and heard it was a deadly food poisoning. Plus I couldn't get access to a sandbox after 5th grade.
If he doesn't care about the other kids making remarks about his "high waters" I'd say just let him wear them. It's not worth getting into fights over something like that.
I used to waer high waters, and my mom often gave me a hard time about it. I never really cared if kids were making fun of me, because it was all their problem, not mine. My mom had attempted to get me off of my obsession with numbers many times, as if it were a conscious choice I made, but I never ever listened to her. I still like numbers and I still tell people about it, and now that I'm at a new school, people are a lot more accepting of it. My number thing is not a choice I make, rather it is just simply who i am. If one judges me over it, all I'm going to do is talk behind his back and write bad things about him in my sketchbooks until he gets his act together.
I think you have to find something to replace the items that he shouldn't chew with ones he can. I've known people to use plastic cutlery but that may stand out too much at school.
When I was at school I used to nibble and suck on a plastic ruler; would that be acceptable? I went on to nail biting and smoking, both of which are more socially acceptable than the ruler, but pretty disgusting.
I saw this cute picture of a boy aged about 9 who had a cat sitting on his lap and who was sucking his thumb at the same time. The main worry with thumbsucking once a child's second teeth have come through is the possibility that the teeth will go crooked. There are far worse things than thumbsucking though, and the more a child is pressured to stop it the more they will keep doing it.
My son is a chewer, and I remember a thread at this forum last year about the topic. What I walked away with was a simple solution: hand the child a straw. Sometimes it doesn't quite fit the bill for him, but most of the time it does. His teachers and other adults have been taught the trick as well.
Another great thing he likes to chew on are organic bunny carrots. But, they only last as long as it takes to eat them. My son really likes to have 2 or 3 carrots around, "thinking food," when he has to start in on his homework.
Straws and carrots. Works around here!
I'll try gum at home where I can monitor him. The biggest problem with it is he likes to PLAY with it and his fingers get all sticky and he slobbers and makes a mess with it. With the warning that I'll take it away if it comes out, he generally is pretty good at resisting that urge.
He is getting better about the thumbsucking, we took away his stuffed car and it nearly stopped altogether - there was some sort of comfort association between the two. Now he's allowed to have the car unless he sucks his thumb with it so now he just rubs his nose with it. Which is better because if he doesn't have the car, he doesn't rub his nose...
Gee, poor kid. He doesn't seem to get to have much fun.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions.... It is still a problem, and I am going to have to impliment some other strategies. I love the straw idea! he might get into that... not sure I want something implanted in his mouth - scares me that it might be a choking hazzard.
There are a few things I wanted to address about some of the attitudes here... I came here as a mother just looking for things that other parents or aspies might be doing to help them cope and adjust to the world... but I'm starting to think that's not really what this board is about.
Is this a stim?? I thought if he felt like he needed to do it I should let him as long as he isn't hurting himself....Am i right????
Yeah, twokids, don't worry; it's perfectly safe. Chances are, it helps him cope with his environment, to think better, or to calm down. Many NT kids like to chew on things or suck their thumbs; it's just more common with Spectrum kids.
Gee, poor kid. He doesn't seem to get to have much fun.
I'm really having trouble with the mentality here that a nearly 9 year old kid should not be taught how to not suck his thumb...
And the idea that my son doesn't have fun is rather offensive. You really have no idea how I raise my son and how amazingly joyful he is BECAUSE of how much I have taught him about how to function in the world. He constantly comes to me with questions and emotions he doesn't know what to do with and we work through it together... he almost demands 'mommy time' at night for these conversations.
Being a good parent is not just about accepting your kids 'as is', it's about teaching them about the world and how to function in it. The challenge of raising a child who doesn't pick things up on his own shouldn't be met with just not doing anything... it should be met with even more work, attention and affection.
Thumbsucking is a habit that not only puts germs in his mouth, but he already has speech problems and gets in the habit of talking with his thumb in his mouth making it worse and harder to understand him... he already has social issues and this habit is compounding them. I can't even believe I have to defend the fact that we're trying to break this habit!
I'm not beating my child into submission, I'm helping him overcome a childhood habit that he should be out growing anyway.
I was going to post something in a new thread about how my son is dealing with being bullied on the baseball team (he has dyspraxia too and is uncoordinated and needs sports to help him learn, but the kids are mean) - and how he was still having trouble making friends, but I'm starting to think a lot of the attitudes on this board aren't every helpful to aspies learning to function in society, but it's more of an 'us vs. them' mentality that doesn't support sharing coping strategies as much as sulking together.
It is one thing to support each other and parents and understand the issues we may all struggle with it's another to say suck your thumb until you're ready to stop and the world be damned for not excusing your stim and ruining all your fun.
Aw come on, I think you need to lighten up a little bit. I fully agree that thumbsucking is not the best habit to have but kids put germs in their mouths all the time. So does everybody as the world is full of germs. As long as the thumb isn't dirty, there shouldn't be a problem on that count.
The main reasons I would worry about an older child thumbsucking is if other children or adults tease them or if their teeth are being pushed out of alignment.
If there are none of these issues, pushing him not to suck his thumb will only make him more anxious and take longer to give up the habit.
I just thought it sounded a bit mean that you'd even take away his toy car so he couldn't rub his face with it at night. If he can't suck his thumb, he should be able to have an alternate stim.
I think the important thing to remember is most of us have had just about as much as we can handle of being told to be different, that we are unacceptable to society, that we are inferior and so on. Hence our particular "takes" on the subject.
I think the "not having fun" conclusion came about because this thread focuses on his problems, and doesn't focus on the rest of his life--which probably does include fun.
Precisely.
If the behavior is that he wants to suck and chew, then you can speak to an OT and there is actually something you can give him to chew his little heart out on. (made especially for this situation). You may be able to satiate his chew need over time this way... or at least move it to a controlled situation where we chew only on a certain thing during certain times.
If he is using oral as a means of added sensory perception, i.e. exploration, then strengthening and improving his other senses may help. My son has poor tactile, therefore he does a lot of alternate exploration both orally and olafactorally.
There is a book called the Out of Sync child which describes body sensory issues and how they "look", i.e. what you would observe the child doing that might clue you in to some of the issues. An Ot then can help you with what to do.
mom of hrick
Just me on my sensory kick again......Ot's actually have a rubber chew tubing you can supplement. I've actually seen them used in school, being left at desk for child to chew whenever he felt the need. Over time the sensory need is satiated and use of it usually drops off. Another idea might be gum. He is either chewing as exploratory measure or to get the input to his jaw joint whereby input may help calm him. Knowing why he is chewing would make it easier for you to figure out how to best help him substitute or accommodate for whatever the need.
Mom of Hrick
But these things wouldn't be in the same order of social unacceptability as nose-picking, belching and similar. Isn't it stigmatising autistic actions to do this?
Better be careful about the whistling or humming as it can drive others demented if they have hearing sensitivities. Still, if that isn't an issue, it is not a bad idea.
I still sometimes get cravings to eat dirt and mud so maybe I should take some vitamins.
7, I can understand why you feel a little defensive about the attitude of the board on something like the thumb stim, I remember that when I first came here, but what to take away from it, in my opinion, is NOT that the Aspies here don't want you to help your child get along in society, but that they DO want you to know how important these stims are to them. You have to weigh your concerns on the negatives against what the child gains, which is a primary self-calming mechanism.
Once I eased up on some of the stim-like behaviors with my son, I saw a world of difference in the more important things: less freak-outs, less tantrums, a more calm demeanor overall, and a greater willingness to tackle the real challenges in his life. For my son, the oral stim is a very important part of who he is. So, my goal became to find a way to make it acceptable, to channel it, instead of eliminating it. Hence, the straws. And it works for him. No more shredded shirts! But he still tries to eat my hair whenever we are close - UGH, lol!
One of my son's teachers actually said one day that it was a shame he was NOT a hand chewer like some others she has taught - after all, she said, "the hand is always there."
Everything we do as parents for our special kids is a balance. While I'm sure it is possible to force them into conformity of what society expects them to look and act like, there is also a huge cost to it. One of the first things I noticed on this board was the level of anger so many teen and adult Aspie members have towards a society that refuses to allow them to be themselves in any way. I don't want that for my child, I don't want hate, frustration, and anger to be become a part of who he is.
My father I believe is an Aspie as well, and remains undiagnosed, but while he has built a successful life in the NT world, I have rarely seen him happy, and his self-image is very negative. That burden was brought onto us children as well. Another aspect I don't want that for my son.
My son is a very, very happy person. He can accept that certain things are not OK, as long as others are. I'm constantly walking that balance: what are his needs, is there an acceptable alternative, what does he get from that behavior, what affects it. He comes with so many gifts, and I don't want to lose them in the process of making life in an NT world easier for him. The gifts are what define him, and give him confidence. But they are permanently intertwined with things like his need to chew. So, balance. It's a tight rope, but if we want happy kids with solid self-images, we've got to walk it.
7 is way too old to have a pacifier and it's better to get rid of it once the child reaches the toddler stage.
I started biting my nails at 5 when I had to start coping with other kids in pre-school. Since then, it has pretty much been a constant habit. I know of some people who still thumb-suck when they are adults. It's not just aspies who can have an oral fixation but I just think it is more common for aspies to have oral "stims".