Aspies For Freedom

My son puts everything in his mouth - his thumb, his fingers, his clothing, his toys, pens, pencils...   He tends to do it as a stim, I think? He's 8 years old and it's actually getting worse, not better.

I have explained many times that it is unhealthy (germs) bad for his teeth (which are gowing in wrong), bad for his pronunciation, risk of choking, ruins his clothes etc.  We've put nasty tasting thumb polish on for thumb sucking and it hasn't helped.

He's a very logical kid and most things I can talk him out of, but this is just so hard for him to break. We've also used rewards and taking things away - nothing is working.

He tends to do it when he's nervous, bored or anxious...

Does anyone have any ideas?  

I've started to tell him to try to bite his lips instead... but I dont' know if that'll help.

Thanks for any experiences or feelings about the issue you may have that could help me understand, even if you don't have solutions...

yeah, that was a worry HE had actually - smart kid... he said he thought his lip would get more chapped if he did that. I didn't argue with him, but said I'd keep thinking about what else he could do that wouldn't make it such an obvious thing. Really - he salivates a lot and makes things wet and it's very distracting to people trying to interact with him.

Thanks for the input... Anything helps - just knowing he's not alone if that's all...

I actually did just tell him about the story where the kid choked to death on a pen cap recently... He struggles with reading (a whole OTHER story) so trying to get him to read it wouldn't have worked.  Maybe I can get some cool visuals or something.

He really isn't that concerned about being 'cool' - he'd rather do what he wants than try to impress others. For instance me insisting he wear pants that fit instead of high waters- he doesn't want to change and doesn't care what kids say.

His teachers are reminding him about his thumb as well - in a kind, discrete way, thankfully. We've discussed it and they are awesome about not wanting to embarrass him.

As for candy - he is already getting cavities, and when I have given him gum and candy, his entire face and hands get sticky because he takes it in and out of his mouth. *L* And consequently he gets other things sticky as well, making it worse.

Maybe I should invent some sort of 'binky' for older people. Could work for smokers trying to quit too.  I know when I've seen movies or tv shows with characters that have toothpicks in their mouths I've wondered if that is just an adult oral fixation thing.

THANKFULLY my son is completely anti-smoking to the point where I have to insist he doesn't make comments about the stupidity of it in front of people who are smoking. *L* I really love him to pieces....

Thanks again.  All of this input is helping me process the situation.

'High waters' are pants where the hem come up a few inches from the foot as if you're walking in high waters.   Being tall and growing fast, I wore them a lot and was teased quite a bit for it...

7'O Clock, I wouldn't worry too much about the germs because if he were going to get sick from chewing and sucking things, it would have happened by now.

Even NT kids wouldn't really take much notice if they wanted to do something and were told another kid died from doing the same thing. Hopefully as he grows older, he will take more heed of the safety aspects of chewing things like pen lids.

If he doesn't care about the other kids making remarks about his "high waters" I'd say just let him wear them. It's not worth getting into fights over something like that.

His teacher is helping us with the thumb sucking - it is a problem, even if he doesn't think so, and even if someone here thinks it's okay. 9 year olds should not be sucking their thumbs.

Also - I solved the high waters thing - I do laundry and I'm just getting better at removing the pants that are too short. It's not like he's going to ASK for them. He doesn't really care what he wears, he just doesn't want to have to change if he's got something on already.

You draw silly pictures of them too eg. pictures with bad faces. I used to draw people I disliked as "boogy men" and "boogy women" with big teeth and fake looking smiles.

I used to do this as a child. In fact until I was about 12 I used to chew on erasers, cardboard and chicken bones. Yes, I know.  lol

My son (9) with Autism rather than Aspergers, also has an oral fixation and we've had several springs where we've had to replace his wardrobe because over the winter he's chewed his clothes to bits. He used to chew everything!

The thing that helped, that saved us a ton in replacement clothing, is gum. We bought it by the crate, let him have it whenever he wanted it and even got permission for him to chew it in class. His chewing (on other things) nearly disappeared. And this was after trying behavioral therapy and everything else. Gum was the only thing that worked.

I would say try it and see what happens. From experience I can tell you that it's the perfect texture, especially after it's been chewed a while.

Now, the swallowing gum problem, that's a whole other problem.

I'll try gum at home where I can monitor him. The biggest problem with it is he likes to PLAY with it and his fingers get all sticky and he slobbers and makes a mess with it.  With the warning that I'll take it away if it comes out, he generally is pretty good at resisting that urge.

He is getting better about the thumbsucking, we took away his stuffed car and it nearly stopped altogether - there was some sort of comfort association between the two. Now he's allowed to have the car unless he sucks his thumb with it so now he just rubs his nose with it. Which is better because if he doesn't have the car, he doesn't rub his nose...

I my son who HFA is 5yo now used to chew on anything and everything he got his hands on when he was 3, then he stopped.  He just turned 5 a few months ago and he started again.  I started giving him damp face cloths so he wouldn't chew on his clothes, watch and toys..... I thought if he needed to chew on something I would try to give him something that was safe for him.  I am a NT mom trying my best and I have a question.  Is this a stim?? I thought if he felt like he needed to do it I should let him as long as he isn't hurting himself....Am i right????

im 19 and im suck my thumb all the time and am in public suck my thumb to. i have green chew tube too chew on to. that help me in public like stores with lights people and have fit. youi should give him chew tube for help it help me.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions.... It is still a problem, and I am going to have to impliment some other strategies. I love the straw idea!  he might get into that... not sure I want something implanted in his mouth - scares me that it might be a choking hazzard.

There are a few things I wanted to address about some of the attitudes here...  I came here as a mother just looking for things that other parents or aspies might be doing to help them cope and adjust to the world... but I'm starting to think that's not really what this board is about.

I'm really having trouble with the mentality here that a nearly 9 year old kid should not be taught how to not suck his thumb...  

And the idea that my son doesn't have fun is rather offensive. You really have no idea how I raise my son and how amazingly joyful he is BECAUSE of how much I have taught him about how to function in the world.  He constantly comes to me with questions and emotions he doesn't know what to do with and we work through it together... he almost demands 'mommy time' at night for these conversations.

Being a good parent is not just about accepting your kids 'as is', it's about teaching them about the world and how to function in it. The challenge of raising a child who doesn't pick things up on his own shouldn't be met with just not doing anything... it should be met with even more work, attention and affection.

Thumbsucking is a habit that not only puts germs in his mouth, but he already has speech problems and gets in the habit of talking with his thumb in his mouth making it worse and harder to understand him... he already has social issues and this habit is compounding them.  I can't even believe I have to defend the fact that we're trying to break this habit!

I'm not beating my child into submission, I'm helping him overcome a childhood habit that he should be out growing anyway.

I was going to post something in a new thread about how my son is dealing with being bullied on the baseball team (he has dyspraxia too and is uncoordinated and needs sports to help him learn, but the kids are mean) - and how he was still having trouble making friends, but I'm starting to think a lot of the attitudes on this board aren't every helpful to aspies learning to function in society, but it's more of an 'us vs. them' mentality that doesn't support sharing coping strategies as much as sulking together.

It is one thing to support each other and parents and understand the issues we may all struggle with it's another to say suck your thumb until you're ready to stop and the world be damned for not excusing your stim and ruining all your fun.

We've found a solution that is working - we put a band-aid on his thumb and if he comes home with it still there after school he gets a star on a chart. After 5 stars he earns a dollar.

For 3 days this has worked very well and he is proud that he has not sucked his thumb all day.

So, he's on board with the idea, has motivation and something with him to help him remember not to do it.  He doesn't have a substitute that I have seen yet...

Sucked my thumb until highschool..then my grand father took a picture of me sucking my thumb...I saw the pic was so embrassed how silly i looked a stopped..it was hard..my teeth are fine..my thumbs are fine...and Im not dying from a thumb sucking disease..now I smoke which to me is worse...

If there were no such thing as 'germs' you would have a point. But there are more reasons to stop sucking on your thumb or putting various non-food objects in your mouth than social conformity.