I was not sure wether or not to post this in the diagnosis forum or here. Since it has to do with my NT brother, I decided here. For some time now he has been one of the most skeptical of my AS, since I made the self-diagnosis, a like 6 page thing explaining it for that my family would know everything about it. He is not exacly NT though, he has ADHD. He just doesnt seem to get it and has gotten angry several times while discussing. I think that he is in a state of denial, he even said, "Your obsession with Magic the gathering(one of mine in reality) and having Asperger's are going to lead you to drugs or something" I tried to tell him that what he just said is an oximoron. He just doesnt get it. What do you guys think that I should do
Be yourself and let him deal with his issues on his own. You can't prove anything to anyone and eventually they accept things or they don't.... but it'll be on his terms and in his timing.
"What do you guys think that I should do?"
Slap him in the mouth and delete his number from your cell phone.
Seriously, when you said "He just doesn't seem to get it and has gotten angry several times while discussing" you described a very typical ADHD response. Neither of you is NT, and he should realize (and accept) that just as he will have his differences because of ADHD, you will have yours because of AS.
I have ADHD and my partner has AS. It is a choice whether that is a conflict or a unifying understanding that we are BOTH non-NT. I think we understand each other better than an NT would understand either of us. (does that make sense?)
How old is your brother? Is he perhaps a little jealous because he prefers to be "The Special One" on the basis of his ADHD, and he doesn't want YOU to be special, too?
He is 13 and I am 15. That might be the case but I dont see how that could be, not that I probably understand him correctly. Although not diagnosed, I think that he also has oppositional defiant disorder. That could also be a reason. I guess that unless he decides to accept it or I get an official Dx, which i havent found a good reason to spend the amount of money it takes to get one. I might just end up asking my parents to take me to a doctor for the very reason taht they stop doubting me. One thing that will help is they accept the ODD, which will increase my credibility and knowledge in the area, not that I am an expert. I think that the best thing is to just let it be and have it resolve itself in time.
"Your obsession with magic the gathering and having aspergers are going to lead you to drugs or something"
I'd love to hear the logic behind that one. If he's a younger brother just saying annoying things then ignore it.
Slap his face off an tell him to stop being stupid.
I have tried and wretched to get him to understand but he is the type that once he decides he will not really change his mind. he also thinks that he is also right so it can be hard to get him to listen to reason. Thanks anyway for the advice.
man..if your brother lived near me, i'd go over and slap him myself. :p
or i'd sit on top of him and repeatedly slap him and after each blow ask "belive me now?" or whatever. You are the older sibling, establish your superiority immediatly and dont take any crap from a younger sibling.
Quite aggressive responses there!
At 13 he is a child and maybe does not fully understand and may not do for a few years yet. Perhaps you as the older one expect him to understand or be adult about things. What he is saying is only an opinion, it is not fact that these things will happen to you. I would just let what he is saying go, just let it go over your head, you know how you feel, you can obviously back up what you say, that is all that matters.
Quite aggressive responses there!
At 13 he is a child and maybe does not fully understand and may not do for a few years yet. Perhaps you as the older one expect him to understand or be adult about things. What he is saying is only an opinion, it is not fact that these things will happen to you. I would just let what he is saying go, just let it go over your head, you know how you feel, you can obviously back up what you say, that is all that matters.
volence only begets volience.
That is what I have been doing up to now. I rarely get angry so this is not something that would get me angry either. If anything when I am not happy I debate almost everything and prove things wrong, but I have improved on that. This is one of the positive aspects of asperger's, I don't really care what most people think. Although family is important, I will ignore it if need be. For example that and he also says negative things about one of my "obsessions," magic the gathering. At this point I am just ignoring them. I would tell him that I dont really value his opinion anymore on that issue but it would create unnecessary conflict. Thanks for the responses
It existed for me, and I'm inattentive-ADHD/Asperger's. But a hyperactive/impulsive-ADHD kid may not yet have the patience to listen to you.
Anyway, he's a sibling and he's probably annoyed or embarrassed or any number of totally unrelated emotions. Siblings are usually annoyed by siblings... fact of life.
Don't worry about it. Your brother doesn't have to believe something for it to be fact.
Well, I kind of already knew that he doesnt have to beleive it. I know it to be fact and I dont really care what he thinks about it. I think that it might have to do something with the fact that he sees his ADHD as a bad thing and is not really happy with it. At least, this is what it appears like to me. And yes, siblings do annoy siblings, or at least mine does to me. This is also partly due to his ODD (oppositional defiant disorder).
As I said earlier in this thread, if he's just a younger brother saying annoying things then ignore him. Siblings do indeed annoy siblings and this is something that most simply grow out of.