Never before had he been so tired of being the specific that he felt like abandoning the whole enterprise and have an extended vacation as only himself. He thought for a few moments more before he began to peel away the outer layers, neatly folding them and putting them in their place. Feels nice, he thought to himself as he felt his way among the people he had been, not thinking for a moment of the ramifications this would have upon the world. Chaos lay now at hand and it made him smile his own smile for the first time in many years and he felt so good about that that he motioned himself to the mirror to see what changes had occured during all those years, and as he looked at himself smiling back from the mirror, he thought to himself, is this really me, is this really me... (and) he gasped in utter surprise at the face (now) before him in that abrupt object sitting on the wall, silently menacing, (for) it was (something completely different...
-"A funny dialogue it was." he said, without a hint of Tsar Kasimir Velvet's Uzi.
-"I, thassetruuf..." menacing.
-"The Lord sayeth, 'skip my bingo' and follow fool."
-"Massa?"
-"Can't be that hard, can it?"
-"Sah!"
-"And now for something completely different...
Something completely different, can I say... just... well... see for yourself kinda outer normal thingish."
"Now I don't understand absolutely nothing about what you are talking
about."
"It isn't that hard to see, is it? You blind or? "
"Isn't that kinda knife to say...
Wojciech: ***! I lost one of my boobs.
Artur: If I didn't know you were wearing a prep disguise, I'd think that you're highly disturbing.
Wojciech: Shut up, you know what I meant! Argh, what the hell, I'll take out the other one. *removes other one* I still feel incredibly fat in this ridiculous outfit.
Artur: And you are.
Wojciech: For ***'s sake, I am NOT OVERWEIGHT. Just GENETICALLY CHUBBY.
Artur: Okay, so how did your candy rushes affect you?
Wojciech: *switches to different topic of discussion* Why don't we take these off and put on our normal clothes? These are annoying to wear, and nobody was supposed to enter the Antigoth building anyway, so we're still hiding even in disguise.
*They change back into black shirts and chain pants*
Wojciech: I feel like myself again.
Artur: Me too.
Wojciech; Wait a minute, why is it suddenly so dark in here?
Artur: I think some of the torches went out.
Wojciech: I think we should watch our steps. *a trapdoor opens and Wojciech falls in* Oh, ***!
Artur: Good job at watching your steps. *jumps in after him*
*they land in a bright room*
Wojciech: Where the hell are we?
Artur: I don't know, but there appears to be 10 feast's worth of food here.
Wojciech? Food? *looks up* Hey, yeah you're right. Think this might be the food storage room?
Artur: Maybe. *tries the door* It's locked. Okay, so we're stuck in here. What do you think we should do?
Wojciech: *already eating a slice of cake* I don't know. Wait until something happens? We can eat this food while we're at it. On an added note, this cake is really good.
Artur: *helps himself to mysteriously heated Instant Cup Ramen* Good idea. It doesn't seem like we have anything better to do. Ow. Hot!
Later...
Artur: I think it's about time we stopped.
Wojciech: *eating a slice of pie* Huh? I think you suggested that a while ago. And we agreed.
Artur: *eats a chocolate bar* Yeah. But we never stopped.
Later...
Artur: I think I'm starting to get a stomachache from all this food.
Wojciech: Not me! I feel fine!
Artur: ****.
Wojciech: I love you too. Anyway, we still haven't stopped eating.
Artur: We'll stop once we count to ten. Ready? One... Two... Oh! Sushi! *helps himself to a huge plate and a lot of soy sauce* Three...
Later...
Wojciech: We never made it to ten.
Artur: You're right. And I feel incredibly full. How the hell are you able to eat everything and still feel okay?
Wojciech: I don't know. I've seen my mother eat huge feasts of food and still be okay. Perhaps it's genetic. Man the food here is really, really good.
Max: *throws the puck in the goal through the side*
Other team: YEAH! SCORE!!!! WOOHOO!!!!
Anna: WAIT A MINUTE! IT DOESN'T COUNT! IT WENT THROUGH THE SIDE!
Zack: And he threw the puck.
Max: It's legal.
Anna: NO IT'S NOT! GET THE *** OUT OF HERE!
Later...
Mario: *throws the puck into goal*
Zack: Again?
Anna: ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT! YOU AND MAX, GET THE *** OUT OF HERE NOW!!!
Artur: *not Wojciech's friend* Can I trade places with you so you kill anyone?
Anna: Fine. Be goalie. Note to self: Feed Mario a poison mushroom.
~*~
And now for something completely different...
~*~
*on the bus*
Sebastian: Look. Looks like some bus is missing someone.
Joe: *outside and running, not very fast though* Wait for me!
Sebastian: Run, Joe, run!
Anna: He can run? I thought he was too fat for that.
Anna: Hey, Disturbed! Can I have yuor autograph?
Disturbed: Uh, people asked me for one a thousand times already.
Anna: I was kidding. I don't have an interest in the way people write their names.
Disturbed: Okay.
Anna: ....
Disturbed: *sings Want to himself*
Anna: Where the hell is Wojciech?
Disturbed: You mean the chubby polish guy with chain pants? He just left.
Anna: Dammit!
Disturbed: You're disturbing me.
Anna: Thank you.
Disturbed: ....
Anna: ....
Disturbed: ....
Anna: We don't have a lot to talk about, don't we?
Disturbed: I suppose not.
Anna: Did you really have an abusive mother?
[FOOTAGE NOT FOUND]
Anna: Ok. Just wanted to know. Does your girlfriend/wife/something really lie to you?
[FOOTAGE NOT FOUND]
Anna: Oh.
Disturbed: You're quite good at interpreting music. You're one of the first few people to actually ask these questions.
-so, this is what's left...
-yes, it is here what is left...
-and here on the right...
-that's something else entirely...
-oh, it is...
-yes, we couldn't even come up with the beginning of an explanation...
-but, that's not called for...
-isn't it... and now for something completely different...
-
-an interestingly clear presentation, leaves nothing to wish for...
-
-I wonder what a certain lady would add...
(I feel like I'm hijacking this thread with my random stupidity. Oh well.)
Anna and Maggie: *burst into the food storage room* Artur! Wojciech! There you are!
Artur: Ughhh..... *with bad stomachache yet trying to eat more food*
Wojciech: Hi! ^_^ We found this wonderful room entirely by accident. *eating cake*
Anna: How long have you been here?
Wojciech: I don't know. At least a couple hours.
Anna: A couple hours!? I'm surprised you don't look any fatter. We were going to take Artur to get him some Antigoth wine so he would gain telepathic contact with the Antigoth master.
Wojciech: Oh yeah. Artur!
Artur: Hold on a second, my stomach hurts.
*The door slams open*
Guard 1: I knew it! I knew I was tricked! Those two goths are the same two girls that took our position as guards! You see? The fat girl had brown hair, and she looked exactly like this fat GOTH with brown hair here.
Guard 2: Yeah, now here they are, eating our Master's food.
Third prep: Wait a minute. The Master said she wanted a hot boy as a toy... a BLONDE boy if I'm not mistaken. We should take the blonde up to the Master, and kill or imprison the rest.
Guard 1: But he's a GOTH! You know our Master hates Goths!
Third Prep: I'm a higher rank. I know that Ivannie can turn this Goth into one of us.
Artur: *whispering to self* With wine. They're playing right into my hands.
*The two preps grab hold of Artur and carried him away*
Random guy: Ha ha, he's fat. You have a crush on a fatass!
Anna: He's not fat. He only looks like that from the back.
Random guy: O RLY?
Anna: And the front. From all angles. Okay, let's face it. He's fat.
Random guy: Gotcha.
Anna: But he's not THAT fat. At least he doesn't look like my friend Joe. *points with thump*
Joe: *looking really fat and eating lots of food while watching Star Wars*
Zack: Will you stop eating all the food in my house!? Seriously. You're going to eat ME next. Oh, look. Obi Wan died. Boohoo. Death scenes are never good in Star Wars.
Anna: I'm in Zack's house? Last time I checked, the setting was undefined.
Random Guy: I guess you're right. Wojciech doesn't actually look that fat next to that guy. Does his name rhyme with Lack? As in Lack a diet? Haha!
Anna: You don't get it. I'm guessing you're one of those people who think that Marilyn Monroe was fat.
Juliet: Oh, Romeo...
Romeo: Oh, Juliet...
Juliet: Hold on a second, can you please tell your pants to stop pointing at me? It's disturbing...
Romeo: My naked weapon is erect.
Juliet: I don't care. It's giving me images.
[One bright, permanently sunny but sunless day in the middle of a scenic Super Mario Bros level, two goombas are waiting for Mario to arrive. They begin to discuss their tedious job as videogame characters.]
Goomba 1: I'm so bored.
Goomba 2: Yeah me too. All we do is walk back and forth, waiting for Mario to come.
Goomba 1: Yeah. How boring. And every time we see him, all that happens is that when Mario sees us, he knocks us off with his shoes. You here that? He uses his effing SHOES as a weapon!
Goomba 2: I agree! Man do I wish I was one of those new 3D bosses from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Mario would be ****** for sure, considering his only weapon is his shoes, and fireballs if he ever finds that flower.
Goomba 1: Man that would be awesome. But, no. We're only minor enemies made up of 8-bit 2d graphics in the middle of an old NES game from the 80's.
Goomba 2: Hey, wanna give little red cap a scare?
Goomba 1: Sure!
Goomba 2: Here he comes!
Mario: *with fake italian accent* Here we go! *jump sound*
Goomba 2: *jumps and hits a block and Super mushroom comes out* Sweet! Right one! *takes mushroom and grows to 4 times Mario's size*
Mario: Oh ***. *turns to run other way* Damn, I can't turn back. Well... looks like I'm ******. *is knocked off wall*
Goomba 1: Awesome You got him! Too bad the block died...
Goomba 2: You can get a turn when he comes back with his next life. The magical Nintendo resetting system will bring that mushroom back.
And now for something completely different...
"Then what?" said first.
"Er, nothing!" said two and swallowed a belch.
"Then what?" said first.
"Sorry!" said two and drew back a wet fart just before it would have left a stain.
"Then what?" said first.
"Damn!" said two and sneezed like nothing had happened.
"Hey, watch where you lay your spray! Idjot!" said first.
"And now for something completely iffy..." said two and fell asleep in the middle of the air.
"Sorry for that one folks. Two has great troubles with smelling words correctly." said first.
"Zzzzzz." Zzzzed two totally soundless.
and now for something completely different...
[At the St. Patrick's Day Dance]
Anna: First dance. And it already sucks.
Joe: I've only been to two dances, and this one is terrible.
Music: Left! Another left!
Preps: *left! Another left!*
Zack: *tapes a sign to himself that says "I'm not drunk, I'm drinking!*
Anna: LOL.
Zack: LOL. *chugs a couple cans of soda*
Music: Right! Over again!
Preps: *Right! Over again!*
Anna: You know, those preps look like mindless drones.
Joe: You're right.
Anna: I bet if the song said "Kill yourself!" we'd be missing a lot of preps.
Joe: Ha ha! LOL!
Zack: LOLOL! *falls asleep on table, having taken off sign by now*
Anna: *tapes sign saying "SLEEPING BEAUTY" to his front as he sleeps* LOL.
Sabrina: Doo dee doo...
Anna: SAAAABRIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Sabrina: Hi, Anna! ^^
Anna: Sorry, I jsut like stretching your name like that.
Sabrina: Oh.
Anna: GUess what's in my pocket.
Sabrina: An object.
Anna: What kind of object?
Sabrina: An object made of matter.
Anna: What kind of matter?
Sabrina: Matter from earth.
Anna: What kind of earthen matter?
Sabrina: Earthen matter that has been tainted by humans.
[And it goes on and on. The human-tainted object of earthen matter in my pocket was a cup of vanilla pudding I stole from the snack bar.]
And now for something different...
[At the Rock Cats Stadium as a school field trip]
Zack: *vanishes to the concession stand*
[later]
[later]
[later]
[later]
Anna: What happened to Zack?
Joe: I don't know.
Anna: Think he died?
Joe: Maybe.
Anna: He was a good person in life...
Joe: Yeah. He was one of my best friends. Probably my BEST friend.
Anna: If only he had lived a little longer. Oh well. How could he have died in there anyway?
Joe: Maybe there was an accident and he was burned in a giant pot of boiling fat.
Anna: Ow. Maybe he was crushed by a giant soda machine. His last words could have been "Hey! Free Soda!"
Zack: Hey guys! Look what I got! [He got vitamin water for unknown reasons]
Joe: Damn. He didn't die.