OK so those of you who don't know. I am moving to Canberra. I have no job over there, no home over there, no idea about the place, no support and so on.
I am moving over there because my ex-wife is taking the kids over. My little boy has HFA and the schooling system etc is better for him.
Problem apart from the above is quite simply...I'm freaking right out!
I have a VERY ordered routine, structured, stable environment that gives me the type of controlled security I need. That is all going. I plan and try and follow that by things are getting tight and more likely to stuff up through no real fault of my planning. If one link in the chain breaks then finances and times and dates for future things in that plan will by affected.
I am getting more and more anxious. I am getting little sleep. These two now mean I am having a harder time controlling my autistic tendencies (such as stimming and talking to myself) and I am forgetting things or not really able to concentrate - which makes me more anxious and it snowballs.
I have also noticed I am even quicker to give people a hard time. Bear with me guys if I give you a hard time. I will normally apologise if I realise.
I just want to pull the covers over my head and have all my problems sorted out.
I will also probably be off-line for some time.
Aaaarrrggghh!!!
I'm going through a fair amount of upheaval at the moment (moving house, moving office, wife wanting us to have another baby etc). So I know what it's like.
I hope everything works out OK for you rossco.
I stressed out completely when I had to move to another house about 100ft away and apart from the change in house there was no other change.
I don't know how far Canberra is from where you currently live but if the equation 'stress (%) = Distance(ft)/2 × Amount of Change' is anything to go by, you must be under alot of stress.
I hope it all turns out well for you in the end.
I thought an ex-spouse couldn't just move the kids just like that. Then again, I knew a guy up here who had to move 1000 km or so because his ex was taking the kids to Brisbane.
Quickduck, I don't know how old your other child is or how old your wife is, but surely it's better to have at least 2 1/2 years between children.
Sorry guys I didn't explain the distance approx. 2800kms. Approx the distance from San Diego to New Orleans (for those of you in USA) or Ireland to Turkey (for those of you in Europe). I actually support my little boy getting better schooling facilities over in Canberra. Just hating the changes.
QuickDuck hope everything goes really smooth for ya mate!
Better to get the moves over with before having another bubby.
Some words of encouragement: Whats the worse that can happen? As long as you don't get killed, you can always start over. I often stress over little things... but although this *is* a big...huge thing, there's no point in stressing. Just let go and let life take you for a ride and try to do your best
Good luck
(But I know, everything is easier said then done.)
Speaking as someone who's moved to new places many times all my life, and moved to another country about three times (Australia to Japan; Japan to Australia; Australia to New Zealand) I can say that although a great upheaval, things do settle down eventually when you move, and sometimes when they settle, they can turn out better than before.
(I've moved at least once a year since 1997 -- sometimes within the same town, sometimes as I said, overseas. So I guess I'm used to it.)
But let me just add my support for your decision to move close to your family. Structured lifestyle can be re-created. It takes a while, but is possible.
As for aaaaargh, I don't think you are being silly. Moving is a big deal, and of course the sheer number of issues associated with it can certainly be overwhelming. Best of luck with your move.
Yes, I would be petrified of moving.
life has a way of really screwing around with people like us. when you just got settled and everything seems like its gonna finally slow down so you can live without to much worry the world requires you to do a 180. circumstances change and you have to rework everything. im sorry dude... I feel for ya.
A few years ago, I met a lovely guy through work. Only thing is, he lives in Victoria and I live in North Queensland. He'd like me to move down to where he is but it would mean hardly ever seeing my children, quitting my job, selling my house, and finding alternate homes for all my pets.
His mum and I don't always get on as she doesn't want me to spend much money whenever I go to visit and he has a female friend who continually tells him how horrible her husband is.
She always wants to be the centre of attention and I've never felt comfortable around her. I like her husband but only as a friend. He is continually getting put down but she feels he is victimising her.
I find it hard to be even five minutes in her company but kind of feel sorry for her too as she has spina bifida and is confined to a wheelchair.
So, it is an awkward situation and we seem to have reached a stalemate, which is a chronic ongoing source of stress.
Guys a quick update. Last day online tomorrow then computer gets packed. I am still stressed but working systematically through the leaving process.
I fly out Saturday morning 12:05am. (arrive 6am)
I have accomodation. The house will sell in 5 weeks. I will get 23 grand at that time. I am hitting the credit cards fairly hard. I still haven't started looking for a job.
I have sold off most of my stuff so packing will be easier.
I am missing the kids like mad but will see them on Saturday or Sunday.
My ex has found herself not as prepared as she thought and I have felt "forced" into shelling out $1280 that I really couldn't afford to help out the kids. Ah well.
That is karma making her life difficult at the moment.
Anyhow after tomorrow will probably be offline for a while. Will miss the frequencies of my postings.
Look out Canberra here I come!