01-04-2007, 04:13 AM
I have heard so many of these types of criticisms before. And I think the answer might be that you're both right. You probably do use your 'labels' as a way to explain your behavior, but NOT as an excuse, more of a way to understand WHY you behave as you do to help you figure out how to manage it where you can. Because you reason and she feels, she may not realize this is what you are doing.
The Mood Swings thing is fascinating - because it might be a combination of a couple things - she may be SUPER sensitive to any change in your mood and you may not even realize the emotional indications that you give off. I know this is true in my case - I often think I am hiding my feelings when people say I wear them on my sleeves. Once I was quietly reading something that was frustrating me and my very emotionally sensitive son said, "Mommy, why are you so angry?" I was stunned. How did he know? I didn't even say anything at all! I asked him and he mimicked the face he said I was making. We both had a good laugh over that... My husband used to take things personally too.
I now try to make sure my kids and husband know exactly what is frustrating me and that it has NOTHING to do with them. That has helped so many times to defuse hurt feelings.
Also, it may be that your roomie is unhappy because living with you effects her feelings. She is affected by the things that go on around her and no more able to just realize that this is who you are than you are to just change because she would like you to.
Good luck!
Hope this helps...
The Mood Swings thing is fascinating - because it might be a combination of a couple things - she may be SUPER sensitive to any change in your mood and you may not even realize the emotional indications that you give off. I know this is true in my case - I often think I am hiding my feelings when people say I wear them on my sleeves. Once I was quietly reading something that was frustrating me and my very emotionally sensitive son said, "Mommy, why are you so angry?" I was stunned. How did he know? I didn't even say anything at all! I asked him and he mimicked the face he said I was making. We both had a good laugh over that... My husband used to take things personally too.
I now try to make sure my kids and husband know exactly what is frustrating me and that it has NOTHING to do with them. That has helped so many times to defuse hurt feelings.
Also, it may be that your roomie is unhappy because living with you effects her feelings. She is affected by the things that go on around her and no more able to just realize that this is who you are than you are to just change because she would like you to.
Good luck!
Hope this helps...