Aspies For Freedom

It goes like this I work in care, I had a lot of social issues with colleagues who critcised me for my impairments (taking things literally, over-analysing things, giving poor eye contact) and a whole load more things that led me to discovering I was aspie, I saw the pychologist at CBT who said I was aspie - a hell of a lot of stuff made sense to them and they started to support me and except me as I am, queue hyper maniac response to meds and a pychiatrist treating me for bi-polar.  Went off sick from work, no choice, thought against treatment with anti-pychotics and came off all meds.  In my hyer-maniac stress I obessessively asked for help from those people who led me to this over the last two years.  Went back to work without a diagnosis without meds, now no one believes me. It goes like this my co-workers think I am a hypro-condriact and my doctors think I do not see that I am in the early stages of mental illness.  Frustrated beyond believe.  I am getting the coventry treatment as I flipped when a co-worker repeatedly shouted at me for my difficulties ( behaviour I can't help unless I become mute and stuck in my own head like in a gold fish bowl again).  I get evils in large crowded noisy places when I become 'deaf' from over-stimulation, I get blanked when I make attempt to be civil, shot down when I talk.  I have taken to being quiet and am having a hard time joining in conversation, I am afraid for being critcised and also having same old problem of not knowing where to join in.  Its like I have reverted back to my school years when I was treated as a freak, painfully shy and did not talk, finding somewhere to hide.  Bacically how the heck do I repair the damage I have done and had done by not being taken seriously by mental health team.  I have no routine in my job, shift work (not always like this), I have lost a lot of friends and have become isolated (most of my friends were work colleagues and now they clearly misunderstand me and hate me, not all, those that don't do not know how to deal with me, when there is nothing to deal with).  I cannot quit and do not want to go on benefits.  I just got to hold it out until my assessment hopefully in March (I am now being referred privately to simon baren-cohen's clinic).  I have a supportive manager, I am not getting support from my team.  

My doctor wants to tell my employers that I may be asperger's or bi-polar, I have said no, my manager knows but is keeping it from bigger bosses as she and I feel it is not could to give labels to employers certainly not ones that are diagnosed.  So far they have stress, anxiety, depression and adverse reaction to meds that is it.  

I work with learning disabled adults and you would think that would be the ideal place to be but it is not.  We even care for an autistic client and they have such a poor understanding, we were refused training in Autism 6 months ago, the whole team clearly needs it.

One of my colleagues said he didn't think I had it because his brother does and he freaks out at everything.  Another said his cousin's kids have it they freak out at the slightest thing.  Another said his son my have it.  I am seeing a lot of characteristics and or traits/signs of co-morbidities, in all of these people.  They all are aware I claim to pych-anaylse everyone (did it without realising).  My conclusion is this they are scared of me being right as it challenges their own concept of normaility.  The only people who have issues with me are those who have never solved their issues or found their identities.  I am 'normal' I just have a different neurology.

It's very rude and unprofessional for one worker to shout at another (except if they are warning them of some immediate danger and there is no other way to do it). They are lucky you didn't wallop them.

Maybe you need to work out what is bare minimum of communication that you need to use at work and discuss this with your manager.  Working at home or from a more secluded office could be good or just getting to eat lunch by yourself could work.  How much interaction do you have to have with other workers to get the job done?  I found leaving notes or rewriting memos or emails better than having to talk to certain people.  I guess it all depends on the nature of the work that needs to be done.

Fruitcake, your job is clearly causing you alot of distress and I have been in that situation too. The way I helped myself was to carefully observe the way my collegues behaved, picked the bits I though were positive and strung them all together and was therfore able to draw on a wider range of responses to different situations. However hard it is don't loose your temper with anyone at work. I used to feel like crying when people talked down to me or 'had a go' at me, but I held it in until I was alone, but these days few people ever try it on with me because I worked really hard on being unbullyable ( I'm always working on it ). It is very hard work, I'm naturally shy and indifferent to others but I 'know' that doesn't work at work. I find the most valuable asset I have is articulation. Being very knowing and matter of fact when I speak, telling only the truth. I sometimes get a hard time for this, because I don't seem emotionally connected to the situation, but usually thing work out fine. I also remember something someone told me once when I was feeling down he said 'So the other mans grass is always greener is it?' It isn't! You will have to work hard at solving these issues and I hope you can. Michael.

Lots of interaction I am a support worker for learning disability.  I have to interact with my colleagues, who all know me personalily ( some a bit too personaly one is my ex boyfriend and my supervisor).  They were all friends and colleagues, now not one of them invites me out.

This is the issue - they are concerned I have read on the internet and self diagnosed myself with a terrible disability and have put the idea in my head.  

They tell me you have not got over your 7 year relationship, you had a bad 2006 (no I did not it was fantastic until I got ill in september due to stress and anxiety, oh and not to mention drug indecuded severe mania and possible catatonia).  They descect my mind thing, putting there own experiences on me even when not asked for.

They are stressed and cannot deal with me (previously I repetively over analysed things I could not understand or stressed me to a lot of people) now I relised what that was.  Now they have just had enough, but the only people I expain why I am asperger's to are those that cause me stress by trying to fix my traits.  What was just me and being northern before, is now bad behaviour.  I have actually become more assertive and less passive, that is seen as bad.

Now this is where I get myself in big trouble.  Before I realised what I do to get round empathy I had effectively pychoanalysed people unwittingly to the point where I can see issues they do not see.  Now they think I am diagnosing them! (I am not but I will admit I have challenged some of their ideas of normality! this has freaked some people out so got to stop that).  I think the 3 people who have issues with me, are freaked as they see so much of themselves in me, but are like they are not like me (they have seen the co-morbid me and are now seeing the real me that is not to different to them).  One person concerns me, as I am scared I have seen too much into his head.  I mostly go quiet now and do not talk much, unless I am defending myself.  

I need aspie on a piece of paper for them to except it.  

I realise I went about things the wrong way, this mess would not have happened had I not been messed around my the mental health team.  I had a the pychologist say she felt I was asperger's, my colleagues were nice, friendly and helpful it explained a lot until I went into hyper mania and was fighting for my independence, I am now off all meds and doing very well, so well my colleagues think there is nothing wrong with me (which is my point) but I am just behaving badly but the doctors think I am mentally ill and don't see it.  In the mean time I do not get help with the things I need help with (hormonal issues, mood swings, food intolerance, noise sensitivity, evidence for re-housing, etc etc, reasonable adjustments to get routine I need at work and do not have).

Here one for you.  I cannot test the fire alarms and have tried and mess it up. I never could learn by rote how to do it, because the instructions confused me and the noise freaked me and I was to slow in putting in the codes. I avoid that like the plague.  Now if I was to be asked I say no because I can't do it and it freaks me, that would not be excepted by colleagues.  One is helpful if gives me concrete stuff to do and shows me what to do if I need it.  I learn by rote not by meaning.  I cannot change the printer cartridge, small thing, embarrassing to ask to be shown, but I avoid that small task, never had to learn, these are the areas where I appear to lack common sense.  Learning difference!  Impairment in imagination, turned up late because I thought I started at 4pm, no pattern or routine in my shift, I get forgetful.