03-11-2007, 03:36 AM
I realize it has been some months since you posted, still I was moved to reply...
>As a parent I went through the tears "Not something else >for him to deal with".
As difficult as my life has been because of my inability to decode the social world, I am grateful for the terrible beauty I am able to see in things that appear to be banal to others. I can not imagine life without being able to think and "see" the way I do. I would never want to give that up. (also: it has ended up making a lot of money for me!)
>instinct. That I have to know if he has ASD, so he can >understand himself better, to clear up the confusion he >has about himself and to help other people to understand >him better. They also make me think the sooner we know >the better we will be able to cope.
What I needed was instructions for things that other people take for granted. In my case having a name for a condition I already knew I had would not have helped as much as simply reading Machiavelli's "The Prince."
I grew up thinking I was a sociopath because I needed instructions or rules to know what reaction to have to people. In the final analysis I finally understood that *everyone* does. And that what was unusual about me was not my need for the rules, but my need for the rules to be explicit.
If your son is like I am, any books that analyze human interaction and propose rules for interaction will be a tremendous help. Examples of such books are as varied as "The Prince"and "The 48 Laws of Power" to the "Human Relations: Principles And Practices"
I wish you and your son the best,
Adam
>As a parent I went through the tears "Not something else >for him to deal with".
As difficult as my life has been because of my inability to decode the social world, I am grateful for the terrible beauty I am able to see in things that appear to be banal to others. I can not imagine life without being able to think and "see" the way I do. I would never want to give that up. (also: it has ended up making a lot of money for me!)
>instinct. That I have to know if he has ASD, so he can >understand himself better, to clear up the confusion he >has about himself and to help other people to understand >him better. They also make me think the sooner we know >the better we will be able to cope.
What I needed was instructions for things that other people take for granted. In my case having a name for a condition I already knew I had would not have helped as much as simply reading Machiavelli's "The Prince."
I grew up thinking I was a sociopath because I needed instructions or rules to know what reaction to have to people. In the final analysis I finally understood that *everyone* does. And that what was unusual about me was not my need for the rules, but my need for the rules to be explicit.
If your son is like I am, any books that analyze human interaction and propose rules for interaction will be a tremendous help. Examples of such books are as varied as "The Prince"and "The 48 Laws of Power" to the "Human Relations: Principles And Practices"
I wish you and your son the best,
Adam