Empathy is feeling the same thing as the people around you. You feel sad when they're sad; you laugh when they laugh. It's a sort of synchonization of emotions.
If you don't feel it, the best you can do is mimic it.
However, it's possible to have compassion for people you don't feel empathy for. You try to understand them and their situation, understand their needs and feelings; and then you hope that their situation gets better, or are glad that their situation is good; then that's compassion.
You can learn to understand people without actually fitting your emotions to theirs. Start out by learning to read emotion and facial expression; then put together the information you know about the person to get the "full picture" of their livees. Save character judgments for last--don't let yourself think "this person is great" or "this person is horrible"; because the best and worst people still have the same emotions as anyone; and thus it is possible to have compassion for someone who is a truly reprehensible individual.
If you can do that, then you will actually be better at it than most NTs, who let emotional things like friendship get in the way of their making good, abstract judgments.
Well. It's weird, before 1 year ago, I couldn't empathise at all. Now, I have a boyfriend, and we've been going out for a year. He's the only person I seem to care about. Fo instance; when his gran died, he was upset, and I realised as he was crying and I said to him It'll be ok etc. But for anyone else, I don't feel anything. My best mate was really upset, I just didn't feel anything. So I'm not really sure if I can say I can or cannot empathise as I seem to only feel something for my boyfriend.
When the tsunami happened, I understand why others were upset because they managed to "feel others pain", but me on the otherhand, I just didn't and still don't feel anything for them. I asked my parents how to empathise for someone and they said you can't learn it, it jus happens, it's a natual reaction. But if it's natural, why isn't it for me?!
Even though I do love my boyfriend, when he's upset, I still don't feel something for him, but I care...If that makes sense. I'm so confused!
I suppose actions are more important than the feelings, but feelings drive people to actions. If you don't have the feeling how are you supposed to naturally know how and when to act?
For example, when I was younger some lad I knew fell off his pushbike swerving to avoid me and broke his arm, I looked at him, logically thought to myself "I don't have the medical knowledge to aid him", so I ignored him and carried on walking. I felt nothing, so how was I supposed to know I was ment to console him?
Sidestepping my previous post for a while. I do know what empathy is because paradoxically I feel it for those who are the same as me, characters and so on, who themselves feel little empathy. It just occured to me and I find that fact quite confusing, but also quite logical (if you ignore the paradox it creates). Has anybody else noticed this?
Of course such people are rare in reality, so this sort of empathy isn't useful.
I have only been to one funeral, and what I experienced was the opposite to what you did.
It was the sudden deaths of two family members, so there were lots of special connections. Everybody was crying around me yet I was in a smiley happy mood. I have no idea why this happened.
I have only been to one funeral, and what I experienced was the opposite to what you did.
It was the sudden deaths of two family members, so there were lots of special connections. Everybody was crying around me yet I was in a smiley happy mood. I have no idea why this happened.
I totally empathise with what you are saying. I spent a lot of my childhood growing up with my great auntie and she taught me more than my mother ever did, I usually spent my 6 weeks holiday with her yet when she died I was not upset. When I was told my brain was so confused, it registered you should be upset yet I could not be. Even at the funeral, carrying the coffin I was not upset and when people came to me feeling sorry for me I could not get why. It was logic she was old, ill and terminally so and that one day soon she would not be alive. Part of me felt like I had to be upset so to play along I just stayed quiet and no one knew otherwise. That is not to say I do not, and still do miss her but I could not react how NT people would.
Brains are weird, aren't they?
I disclose this in total secrecy but with films I can be a soft so-and-so at the best of times but I don't let it show even when I can feel my eyes welling up.
The lack of tears is wo strange, were you upset or just did not show it in the way people would expect?
I am really trying to understand so much about as it's untrue.
I don't think, all things considered, anyone would have been able to cope with all of that.
Has all of that made you a stronger person. I always try and see when I look back on things from the past that something good here and now would not have happenned if I had not been through that situation.
Good, so something good has come from it all at least.
I did not feel sadness at it, just intrigue as to what was going on and who was behind it all.
No more conspiricy theories please, whatever happenned and why we will never know the truth will we?
I would say it allows you to look at things more openly and with a less biased viewpoint - a sort of neutral observer as such.
Are you trying to imply our government hides things from us? Surely not. Mp's are not always honest and trustable? Hmm