12-21-2006, 04:33 AM
Hi, recently while researching some chemistry i found an article on Asperger's syndrome. Since i am always interested in psychological things i read it. While i was reading it i kept thinking "wow it sounds like its describing me a little". I should describe myself some, I am 18, 5'11", 150 pounds, and have a VERY high metabolism ( i think little things like this make a picture whole, because i have somewhat learned not to assume so much with people). I keep my thoughts to myself 99% of the time. As a child i was friends with EVERYONE, but my speech was always googleplexed as i would blur words and not complete sentences( because i had fun by just being completely sponanious). I also remember i loved playing with stuff that would engauge the imagination. Even today i have my lego's sitting on my book shelf.
Starting 7th grade i started to get targeted alot(bullying) and i slowly (over 2 years) started to socially withdrawl myself. When i withdrew myself is when i started to ponder everything, i took in information that i wanted and used it to complete my complex mind questions i made. When i try to be social nowadays i usually just forget or say something random in the middle of a sentence and then i cant really talk to the person anymore. But i can easily meet someone, but my parents taught me well when it comes to proper manners and respect (looking in people's eye's, how to properly shake someones hand, to say "thankyou" lol)So getting/holding job's are easy because i like work and i am respectful to customers and boss. other than that i dont have to much to say to someone who i dont know. Alot of the times people dont get my jokes, i am very saterical and sarcastic, but at the same time so full of nonsence.
In my life i try to not assume anything but i end up in not even being able to recognize a sarcastic joke, which makes me think negatively. I dont show to many emotions unless im angry,depressed, or extremely happy (none of these occur very often). And dont have any empathy for anyone really, when my sister broke up w/ her bf (they were goin out for 4 years and she loved him) i felt bad but didnt really appear to care. When i get into conversations with my few friends (who are just friends nothing special) ill talk about one subject untill one of them changes it then pretty much just go find something else to do. I have had really good friends in the past, but for some reason ill just start to not notice them as much, taking them for granted. i dont purposly do this though, but it kills the relationship.
In school i get in trouble for EVERYTHING i do and some stuff i dont do. For some reason people see me as a trouble maker when infact i am very good to my "superiors". I Never try to offend anyone but usually screw up and say something i didnt mean to. One instance spacifically i remember of this is when i was in 5th grade, i was talking to this girl about 2 feet inside the classroom facing the door and i was slow to grow. She was about 2 inches above my height. I said to her "Wow your big!", what i ment was that she was tall, next thing i new i was in the principals office for calling a girl fat. I never ment any harm but people always take things way to critically sometimes when i say something to them.
My memory always connects pictures together, if i say banana cream pie i instantly think of myself at Fudrockers buying there Banana cream pie at the pastry place, omg it was good. So i have lots of trouble remembering words by name, i have to associate the name with a picture.
As for my girl relationships i had my first gf in 6th grade, (first time i kissed a girl), then i isolated myself, there was always a girl who liked me. But i really only acted on my emotions with chicks starting at the age of 17. Did i hit puberty really late? no i hit it at 13.
O yea i should discuss my interests, at one time or another i have been interested in EVERYTHING, and the ones i could persue i did. Learning lots along the way but there is still so much more. My interests for the longest time so far has been chemistry, which i am now taking in high school but god the class moves SOOOO SLOW. I mean were still getting defenitions like "compound". Now if someone asked me the defanition for the word "the" i would have no clue were to start, but i can still use it.
And i dont no if its just me, but do i ramble alot? like this whole thing took me 2 hours to write, and i have taken so much pointless information out were i have gone off in a tangent. So im goin to post it now. <---- last word i wrote in this "biography" thing because i skipped around alot.
In the end when it comes to my self diagnosis i would say i have mild AS, or none at all and just have a very rational, literal mind. But i dont no, im trying so hard to figure out myself and my life.
Starting 7th grade i started to get targeted alot(bullying) and i slowly (over 2 years) started to socially withdrawl myself. When i withdrew myself is when i started to ponder everything, i took in information that i wanted and used it to complete my complex mind questions i made. When i try to be social nowadays i usually just forget or say something random in the middle of a sentence and then i cant really talk to the person anymore. But i can easily meet someone, but my parents taught me well when it comes to proper manners and respect (looking in people's eye's, how to properly shake someones hand, to say "thankyou" lol)So getting/holding job's are easy because i like work and i am respectful to customers and boss. other than that i dont have to much to say to someone who i dont know. Alot of the times people dont get my jokes, i am very saterical and sarcastic, but at the same time so full of nonsence.
In my life i try to not assume anything but i end up in not even being able to recognize a sarcastic joke, which makes me think negatively. I dont show to many emotions unless im angry,depressed, or extremely happy (none of these occur very often). And dont have any empathy for anyone really, when my sister broke up w/ her bf (they were goin out for 4 years and she loved him) i felt bad but didnt really appear to care. When i get into conversations with my few friends (who are just friends nothing special) ill talk about one subject untill one of them changes it then pretty much just go find something else to do. I have had really good friends in the past, but for some reason ill just start to not notice them as much, taking them for granted. i dont purposly do this though, but it kills the relationship.
In school i get in trouble for EVERYTHING i do and some stuff i dont do. For some reason people see me as a trouble maker when infact i am very good to my "superiors". I Never try to offend anyone but usually screw up and say something i didnt mean to. One instance spacifically i remember of this is when i was in 5th grade, i was talking to this girl about 2 feet inside the classroom facing the door and i was slow to grow. She was about 2 inches above my height. I said to her "Wow your big!", what i ment was that she was tall, next thing i new i was in the principals office for calling a girl fat. I never ment any harm but people always take things way to critically sometimes when i say something to them.
My memory always connects pictures together, if i say banana cream pie i instantly think of myself at Fudrockers buying there Banana cream pie at the pastry place, omg it was good. So i have lots of trouble remembering words by name, i have to associate the name with a picture.
As for my girl relationships i had my first gf in 6th grade, (first time i kissed a girl), then i isolated myself, there was always a girl who liked me. But i really only acted on my emotions with chicks starting at the age of 17. Did i hit puberty really late? no i hit it at 13.
O yea i should discuss my interests, at one time or another i have been interested in EVERYTHING, and the ones i could persue i did. Learning lots along the way but there is still so much more. My interests for the longest time so far has been chemistry, which i am now taking in high school but god the class moves SOOOO SLOW. I mean were still getting defenitions like "compound". Now if someone asked me the defanition for the word "the" i would have no clue were to start, but i can still use it.
And i dont no if its just me, but do i ramble alot? like this whole thing took me 2 hours to write, and i have taken so much pointless information out were i have gone off in a tangent. So im goin to post it now. <---- last word i wrote in this "biography" thing because i skipped around alot.
In the end when it comes to my self diagnosis i would say i have mild AS, or none at all and just have a very rational, literal mind. But i dont no, im trying so hard to figure out myself and my life.