Aspies For Freedom

I feel as though the services given to me due to my diagnosis are actually hindering me (failing social studies because I meet the Social worker during that class on Mondays), and I would like them removed. I think the way is to remove my own diagnosis.

Because of the way this screwed up system works, I know I can't ask nicely for it to be removed. I have to play the Neurotypical during my reevaluation next year. I've seen the revaluation pattern blocks twice before in my lifetime. I know there's more than just that, but I can't remember it.

I really need to know the way the reevaluation works so that I can plan my moves a year ahead of time. If I really want to win, I have to start planning now.

Tips will be very helpful.

Also, I know that there are many secrets waiting around the corner that I need to knock out to help get rid of my diagnosis. Please let me know if you know of any.

I am 13 years old and in 8th grade.

I've spilled the beans to one social worker about wanting to remove my diagnosis. She seems to understand, but I know they will see me as another teenage rebel and it won't work.

Plus, I'm too shy for that kind of approach.

The "goals" I have are to stop being argumentative and stubborn, but I know this goal won't be met because I am a person who tries the best to change the flow to her will. Also, I display little usage of pragmatic language, but I don't care anyway.

I won't get my parents on my side. Usually I try to do things myself as much as possible, because I'm quite suspicious of other people.

Cool. =D

It's impossible to avoide an aide. She always follows you around, except when she's on lunch break.

She can carry some of your stuff for you, (Not actually useful)
She can get you things you need and answer some questions (Much rather be dependent on the teacher)

There actually won't be a very big difference. I don't really do much with the aide at all, I just want her off my back.

read matt_t's posts

Some info: I accept myself as being Aspergian, I know I am Aspergian, I just want to remove my official diagnosis and pass off as neurotypical. Not only do I not want an aide, I also want to remove anything bad that may happen to me in the future, such as getting rejected from college or a job simply because "ASPERGER SYNDROME" (I hate that name now) is stamped on my records. If I erase that stamp, I have a slightly better chance of getting a job.

Yes, Soccerfreak's advice is quite useful. I should consider it.

Isn't it possible to ask to not have an aide anymore, despite your diagnosis? I'm thinking that might be easier than insisting you didn't have AS.

If you asked for conditions--i.e., a list of things you'd have to do before they agreed to remove the aide--and then fulfilled those conditions, they'd have to remove the aide. Of course, if they didn't remove her even after you did what they said, you'd have the right to make a big stink about it.

No, that's plan B. If I did that first, I know they will say no because I know they think I don't know what I want, and it may get recorded and used as evidence should I manage to play NT in the evaluation and they decide to try to prove I was trying to remove my diagnosis. Yep, I think ahead.

~*~

I got the conditions. About half of them just can't be fullfilled.

I am asked to accept what I am supposed to do without debating why I don't want do it. I've always done this since the beginning of time. It's not going to change. They are not going to turn me into the mindless submissive drone like the others. I'm just not a stoic, and they need to understand that.

Organisation. I don't have a standard form of organisation, so I use my own form. It's invisible to other people. The pile of stuff I carry around with me looks like a pile of stuff to others, but I know my pile of stuff. I dont use folders to carry anything, but I stick random papers next to landmarks (notebooks and textbooks, and other important papers) in my pile of stuff. If I don't know where something is, (nearly all the time) I always remember what landmark it sits next to. Sometimes I'll remember a paper simply because it has Wojciech drawn on it. I have organisation. They just can't see it because they are not me.

Bringing everything to class. Fullfilled. I worked out a system as simple as a hydrogen atom two years ago that still works effectively. I only have to worry about three things when going to school: my backpack, my pencil and my eraser. I carry both of the latter in my hand, because I use the same pencil and eraser over and over until some **** takes them.

Not walking on toes: in process of involuntary fullfillment. I've been walking on my toes less for some reason, but I still do because I like the feeling of the pressure on only my toes and not my heels.

Use pragmatic language: Uhh, no. What if I don't know the actual way of doing something? I have to go by my own theory, right? Also, I devise complicated theories on the way my mind works in my free time, so I shouldn't let them collect dust. No this is my style of being. I trust my way, if not the official way.

Interact with peers: Fullfilled backwards. It's not me interacting with them, it's them interacting with me. If I try to interact, I make a fatal mistake and my social image goes from "lower mediocre" down to "freak" really fast. If I allow them to interact with me, it is easier for me to sort the people I like from the people I hate, since people tend to break my catergorizing rules. (I like a couple preps and a couple goths piss me off, for example)

Raising my hand: Fullfilled, although nearly half the time, they can't see hands, but can hear voices. It's not me disobeying the hand rule, I'm just making it easier for them to see the hand. And it works, so why should I not use it?

Not disturbing other people:  Fullfilled somewhat, but they are not being disturbed, they like interacting with me. Disturbed people would hate it if I showed them a drawing while they work.

Not ridiculing peers and teachers: Fullfilled once they understand the difference between "telling the brutal truth and constructive criticism" and "openly insulting". I normally don't openly insult people, but I tell the brutal truth a lot, and it makes other people think that I'm trying to hurt them. If someone showed me a drawing and I thought it was ugly, I tell them so, then offer them advice to make it look better. My actual insults are the brutal truth, which makes them craftier than just "You suck, loser!". My common one is telling people that they are what I call a norm-slave, and telling them that it means someone is a slave to what is normal and shuns everything that isn't normal out of fear, hate, and prejudice. If someone deemed a norm-slave actually sat and thought about it, they would realise I was telling them the brutal truth, that they were, in fact, slaves to the norm. Also a teacher is no different from a peer. Everyone is a human, everyone gets treated like one.

Control outbreaks of temper: I can't control large, chatty, item-throwing groups of people who move too much or too little. I can try to stim really hard though. It doesn't do much, I can tell you.

~*~

Also, I see some tiny modifications checked off on my packet that I am NOT getting, or are not properly given to me. For example, extra time on projects. Where is it? And I'm not getting daily feedback on behaviour either, not that I want it. I don't get prior notice of homework assignments because they get stuck inside the teachers' long monologues, and sometimes it is difficult to pluck them out.

Matt_T (me) doesn't have an agenda.  I'm just trying to help.

Meiolyn (excuse me if I spelt that wrong!)

I read a lot of your posts, I did not realise you were young (do mean that patronisingly) you seem like you got a very good head on you and you know yourself very well, kind of identify with you.  My position is the reverse now as an adult.  You have the benefit of knowing your own identity at 13 years of age, I found mine 2 months ago at the age of 29 years.  In some ways I identify with you, wish I knew for myself so I would not have thought I was going crazy all these years, but then I am also glad I did not know, as I would have grown up being told I can't do this, can't do that (just as I am told now I could not have asperger's because I would not have been able to have a relatinship - even if only one very bad one and one very brief wonderful one, or that I would not be able to show empathy ... do I need go on).  Even before I knew I was written off at school, I wanted to do art, photography, 2 foreign languages (I was declined and told to do typing and cooking - useful skills for a girl who will only accomplish being a wife, mother and secretary).  I always proved them wrong (lost the artistic side in me until just recently), I had a teacher who picked up on my 'learning difference' who taught me the skills of analysis, assertiveness, inquestiveness, to be an individual and useful study methods - I went on to uni got a history degree, had loads of fun, made friends, but then left uni and could not get a decent job, moved, could not make friends anymore very well.  Then I accidently ended up working with learning disabled adults, made  friends, then had issues and got 'ill'.

Now I am fighting to be recognised as aspie so that I am not seen as mentally ill.  Got to be hard for you, guess prove them wrong, never give up, in getting your diagnosis changed is that not giving in, be proud of it, print off loads of stuff from here, about difference, anything chuck it at them, ignorance is not an excuse for lack of knowledge.

All they should help you with is learning, you cannot teach social skills, nor can you change others ignorance.  Be yourself, you got a long way to go before you get jobs, who says you have to work for someone anyway?  use your creativity and intelligence to to be your own boss.

Tell them, tell them, tell them or failing that change schools or bunk off its what we did without diagnosis!!!! (I hated playing games, especially netballs, tennis, I got very good at avoiding them until I got the option to do trampolining and hockey - goal keeper which I could enjoy vaguely - I cycle now that the only exercise I do) Teach yourself ha ha!!!  You can learn anything you put your mind to it!

There are some days when the aide is absent. Luckily she is not given a subsitute. I go through the school day as if I never realised there ever was an aide to begin with, which proves I don't need one. I can function like a normal student. They are just too wrapped up in their own ideas that they can't see it.

They (being the idiots who are on about my "case" of Asperger Syndrome, LOL LOL) once told me at the beginning of the school year that the high school will be crowded with people, that I'm going to need an adult to travel through the school. They said that about Middle School too. Yes, the hallway gets crouded really fast, but I have my own ways with coping. If they say that about getting lost, the only place I've ever gotten lost in was my doctor's office because every room looks the same and are connected to each other in random ways. A school is neat and orderly, and each side of a hallway looks different with posters. Of course, I won't fully develop a route through the school until a week after the first day, but that happens to everyone: you get to know your route.

Also, (random note), not once does it say "Asperger Syndrome" on my packet thingy. It only says "Autism", as if there's no spectrum at all. Which is, of course, complete bullshit.

I don't get either. Timed tests sounds useful, even though I always complete a test in time, and never worry about the time at all.

Don't worry, I forgive you.

Yeah, I'm glad you agree with me. Everything is invisible to them. They are blinded by the whole 'LOLOLZ ANNA GOTZ PROBLEMZ' thing.

Yeah, it truly is insulting in my view. Hals is in a rented old school, and the whole school goes to class on one floor. That's 160 kids in one average hallway putting their stuff away at once. Pulaski has more students, but at least the whole school is used, so there are much less kids in one hallway. The high school is even BIGGER (been there for a club once), with more students, and so I don't think it'll be too crowded in the hallways either.

No, she goes to lunch break, which is rather long, because she isn't there the class after that. Apparnetly they don't play attention when she isn't there.

Yes. I've never trusted authorities so I self-diagnosed as well to make sure.

Huh? What good will that do?

Thank god, too. I'm also usually never serious about my violent threats.