Aspies For Freedom

That people like Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and almost all of the movers and shakers of the scientific world are alleged Aspies, as are many of the more famous writers, musicians, actors, and artists. Your world would be a shadow of itself without us.
(There are seemingly endless lists of famous Aspie names on the internet.

That we see, hear, taste, smell, and feel much more of the physical world than you do. We are ultrasensitive to soft sounds than you are. Many of us can hear high-pitched (ultrasonic) sounds that your ears are incapable of hearing. We are driven crazy by tiny pinpoints of light that you can't even see. The seam in the bottom of our socks is very bothersome. (I'll bet the princess in the "Princess and the Pea" fable was an Aspie.)

That we are NOT repeat NOT mentally ill. We have a different neurological system which is not yet understood.  We are not schizophrenic ( a chemical imbalance); we live in the same world that you do, not little worlds of our own.

We are not sociopathic, people-haters,or wannabe hermits. We are nonviolent unless pushed beyond the limits of our tolerance. We do not have an attachment disorder, as so many people seem to think, despite the many differences.

And yes, many of us are clumsy. We walk funny. We are humiliated in our gym classes because we are usually the last people who are picked when the gym teacher tells his favorite "jocks" to choose up sides. We can't understand why the gym teacher thinks that everybody has to be an athlete, and gives us low grades because he thinks we are shirking.

We are subject to food allergies like you wouldn't believe. We have bizarre medication reactions which baffle doctors and pharmacists.

Our likes and dislikes are very different from yours. We could care less who wins the Superbowl or Wimbledon or the Stanley Cup. We like old coins and freight trains, and can drive you out of your mind by reciting an encyclopedic knowlege of the development of diesel locomotives.

If we were offered a "CURE", and become like the neurotypical (normal, whatever that may be) people, whom many of us consider to be dull and boring, we would refuse. We wish that well-meaning people would quit trying to "cure" us, especially those delusional people who think that behavior modification is going to do the trick.

And MANY THANKS for asking this. I am even thinking of mailing this to the editor of a local newspaper.

1. Some of us have imaginary friends, because either we may not have much of a social life, or because we have certain things in our mind that we don't feel comfortable telling our real friends or family. Nobody should be quick to say "You have imaginary friends because you'll never make any real friends." I am 15 and i still have a few IFs; i talk to them in my bedroom when nobody is around. I don't like telling my family members everything about my life, because they can be critical at times.
2. We don't necessarily enjoy going to huge parties. If i were to go to a party, i would like it to contain no more than 20 people. I always feel left out if i am in one huge group of people, because they often forget to include me in the group. When the group is small, i feel like somebody is paying attention to me. We also prefer smaller classes over large classes at school because the teachers pay more attention to us.
3. We think that picking on weird people is a waste of time and energy. The only reason we would make fun of someone is if that person made fun of us first. And we don't like to talk behind people's backs, because it is not what good friends should do, and we have more interesting things to talk about (our special interests).
4. We often develop strong interests in whatever area, and we would spend hours and hours of research on it. That is actually a good thing, because it shows we are eager to learn. We may become professional experts on the subject we choose if we continue to study the area for the rest of our lives. This is how scientists and inventors such as Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Leonardo de Vinci discovered so many theories and opened many doors for the people in later generations. So, without these kinds of people, we would still be living in nonsensical myths and superstitions.
5. All of us people in general have difficulties and abilities, no matter what.

I really can't think of that many, because I try to fit in with NTs as best as I can and have had some success just being kind of different.  There's no use in developing woundology over ultimately quite trivial differences

These two fit me perfectly, though.  Another three that I suppose might also be of use to my closer friends:

The most important reason why I tell you I have autism is to clear up whatever misconceptions you may have about autism and AS.  I'm not trying to hide or make an excuse for anything else, at least I'm not consciously intending to

Many people believe that successful people like Albert Einstein and Bill Gates have or had AS.  I'm somewhat indifferent to this.  I believe I can still be successful even if Albert Einstein and Bill Gates didn't have AS

If I had the chance to be "cured" of my autistic traits, would I?  Probably not at this point in my life, because doing so would be akin to having a personality transplant.  If I was very young, I wouldn't have been in any position to object.  Would I have been more successful now if I had been cured at a very young age?  Most likely not, after all in undergoing a college education I am already more successful than most Irish men my age

Here's my top 5

1: don't put the whole onus on us. to the same ratio as you expect us find ways to learn to communicate and fit in, you should extend the welcoming and make us feel a part of things.
2: upgrade your vocabulary. Instead of finding words that are too elementary, with the hopes of clarifying it with subtle visual cues and voice tones...do the opposite: say it all in words, from start to finish, find concise meaningful words that describe variations and subtleties. Describe it all in words, not half words and half body language. Leave excessive body language to the animals, and apply language skills for humans. Remember that language is designed for people, and that everyone can benefit from a better vocabulary. This would help a lot. And also, don't cut off your sentences, finish them. Speak to us like you are writing an essay for English class. Try and say it all properly and thoroughly. Use directive talk with NO implied meanings.
3. ask for feedback, or reflect back. Which means, it's just a way to find out how we absorbed the information. If we took your words the right way, you'll be happy, and if we didn't, you'll need to know that, and restructure what you said.
4. Don't make any assumptions on our feelings, gestures, what we are thinking, or that we processed what you said in the way you expect (such as cliche expressions) and don't expect us to make correct assumptions about you.
5. Expect that we react logically, not emotionally. For example, if you came to cry on our shoulders, you'll get advice, not a listening ear. You'll get solutions, not hugs. If you want a hug though, just ask, we probably will want to do that too.

Actually alot of aspie people care about the Stanley Cup...

ESPECIALLY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know enough politics to get by. So your quote about Legislators draws blanks for me. I mean politics anywhere, not just, in the government. If you want to school me, please be my guest.

About you non care about how people view your professionalism, what are you referring to? Are you a doctor, a dentist, a specialist of some kind?

I just want to mention that it's very difficult to bring the Aspie and NT worlds together. I want NT's to understand me, because I know already that I work very hard to understand them. Or else, I'd at least like them to have a desire to make as much effort as I do, and I would expect them to me as unsuccessful in their attempts to understand Aspies and I am understanding NT's. But the thought would count!

I'm really sure that aspies would be "pro" learning and understanding NT's more if only we could get that kind of reciprocation from NT's! Am I right?

The problem is, NT's by nature, don't usually seem to care to find out about us. They offer all sorts of ways you can learn how to adapt to them, but they certainly are not committed to adapting back.

This shows that NT's (in my opinion) think of themselves as the superiors. They think they have superior thinking and THEREFORE  all others much reach up (or down) to their f*cked up standards. Apologies for the lewdness but I thought it was artful and made the proper point, to use it in that sentence.

Now we know that the world cannot change if we simply will it to, but it is true that it is like a stack of dominos, where it takes very little to push it all down, perhaps just one person. Historically, change always happens that way. I'm saying, we should not underestimate any large or small thing. Change can happen, if the right circomstances align, and something as small as a mouse could tip it over, and it would fall like a ton of bricks in on itself. In  other words, people who say "you can't change people" don't know what they are talking about. It's easy to change people, if you are a strategist and you do things in the right time.

I'm saying that, the world would be wise to give place to ALL types of thinking, especially when the economic situation looks grim. They'd do well to listen to people who think OUTSIDE the box, since the box itself is not that stable.

So, it's not as if ALL people who think different have the right ideas, but it's best not to rule it out.

I think we need to kindly offer our voice, and in a way where, we do know that people don't appreciate it, but they will remember, when the need comes along.

And that's how I think we can do some good for the world.

by the way, people who have family members who are Aspie, usually care. That's one major exception. There are some people who care, but on the whole, I've had a rough time trying to come to mutual understandings with NT's. They just don't seem to know, or care, and it's very discouraging.

I just want everyone to try.

My philosophy should work actually. I really think it would: that the strong should support the weak.

If you ever heard of the bible verse "the lion shall lie with the lamb" and seen renderings of it...it bring up a concept in my head. LIE with the lamb, if a lion is lying with a lamb, it seems to say (visually) that the lion is protecting the weaker softer creature.

It makes sense that those who are strong, in this age, should be using their strength totally to support the weaker members of society. I mean, those who are not able to be successful, for one reason or another. Those would be the weak people.

But it seems, people have an opposite theory: they think that the strong should survive and trample over all the weak, and that the weak should, become scarce that way. Survival of the fittest, it's called.

But if the weaker members of society have the answer, to the way that all creatures great and small can survive, blissfully, then...should we not take on that notion?

Or if the weaker members have inner strength, to put up with their own weaknesses, whilst those who are visually strong, like lions, who conquer and divide, have inner weakness...should we not be lending our abilities to one another.

We need a dynamic society, one that allows for  contribution according to ability. And taking only according to need.

treat you like a human being:

that used to be one I thought of too.

You really summed it up.

But actually, the truth is, human beings don't treat each other nicely all the time. We actually ARE being treated like human beings. We are being treated sometimes like we are rare and exceptional humans, and other times, treated like rejects. It depends who it is that we are dealing with, right?

As for girls, how old are you? I guess I can peak at your profile after I send this, but...yeah I know. Seinfeld summed up the all time female question: "what do men want?"

He answered "what do men want? I'll tell you what men want: WOMEN"

Right so, you are a male, and probably you want what all men want: women, or girls. I suppose if you are younger.

The trick to getting women is. There is no trick. They all like something different.  However, the best advice there is to that, since I'm a woman I can tell you some insight.

Women want love. They will, on first glance reject anyone, even really good looking men. Well that depends, how superficial they are. But women can be convinced. They are different than men. Men seem to target what they want, and go after it. But men hardly seem to be able to be convinced to go for a woman they aren't interested in.

Women, just pretend in your brain that they aren't interested in ANYONE, at first. They will reject just about anyone.

However, persistence, without being a stalker, in that you give up if it doens't work within a couple of tries, actually is good.

Initiating is important. It looks confident and attractive. Even if you botch up! Botching up can work for you, because then it looks cute.

and to be honest, you can be ugly, weird, attractive or whatever, but as soon as you become more like friends, and make an attachment, and make her feel pretty, and liked, and desired (by treating her nicely and courteously and thinking of her feelings, and complimenting, and being a good friend, and being supportive and loving) she can start to change her mind.

I found in my life, men don't change their minds. Don't chase men. it never works. Ultimately, anyway. Sometime temporarily it will, for a few years, but, it backfires.

Women, can be convinced.

so think of it that way. Don't lose hope. If you try, you're chances of success go up.

that's how I feel. Honestly, most women will go out with the nerd, if the nerd is kind and nice to her, and tries, and makes her feel special. If he approaches her, and etc...She will warm up to who he is on the inside.

I hope that helps. That's my opinion. And I could be wrong, and anyone is perfectly fine disagreeing with me. But that's my experience.

I would have thought you'd feel good that someone is asking. But that's fine if you feel that way.

1. That outward appearance of abilities/functionality cannot be depended upon to infer what other abilities/functionality the person in question has. For instance, because I speak and score highly on exams, it is assumed that I have only minor social difficulties and that is all.

So, my difficulties with daily living skills, even when I specifically bring them up, are usually ignored. I am often expected that, because I didn't take exceptionally long to learn to talk that it must come as easily for me as for typical peers. This is not the case, and there are a number of times when speech is too difficult. Adults who are supposed to understand autism, because I have an Asperger diagnosis, will think I am being defiant, and their image of me is more dependent on stereotype than on what evidence about myself that I actually give.

2. That someone with a Kanners autism diagnosis is fundamentally different than someone with an Aspergers diagnosis. We are all autistics, with varying levels of disability and ability. I think of the spectrum as being a big wheel, and everyone - autistic and neurotypical and everyone else - has a place on it. We all move around in our lifetimes as we gain and lose abilities, while certain core features remain the same. The spectrum, as I see it, is not a line from low to high, but rather a field where everyone has their own path.

3. Not wanting to be cured doesn't mean rejecting help/treatment. Of course, some therapies have been rejected because of the nature of them (such as criticisms leveled against ABA for trying to stop stimming, and against the lengthy time committment). But one thing really important to me is that access to services is improved for autistics and families. That and equal employment opportunities are some of the most important things ahead in my future.

4. Stimming (hand flapping, rocking, finger twisting, etc.) is the method by which we regulate the senses, and though it can look odd to others, it helps us to do things like speak or socialize or stand in a crowd, when otherwise it would be too stressful. It is like when people tap a pen or their foot - the primary difference being that it is less socially acceptable. This is something that society should learn to accomodate, rather than us being trained out of it.

5. Self-injury can go away and the person is no less autistic. It is in no way part of what we see as the valuable core part of us that is autistic. True that it is commonly associated, for a variety of reasons, but just as a person who learns to speak is just as autistic, so is someone who stops self-injury.

I for one used to bang my head a lot as a kid, and now I do it much less. It would be insane for anyone to suggest that self-injury is something that should be preserved, and this is not a belief anyone of the autistic community shares, and is mainly just set up by people who want a cure and want an easy way to attack our beliefs.

6. It is not a tragedy. Even if a neurotypical person cannot imagine how someone could be happy living as an autistic person does, doesn't mean that the autistic person feels the same way. There is no typical person "underneath" autism; there is only one person, and that is the autistic person. So no one has been "lost" to autism. However our body language differs, we are just as connected as anyone else. Just not in the same ways.

I also want to add my agreement that it is a poor reason for why being autistic is a valuable way of being to cite intelligence, for both of Ethel's reasons. I have known intelligent people who were grand jerks, and I'd rather be around an "average" person than them.

Also some of this elitest "Aspies are better than others" attitude, while I wholly disagree with it both factually and because of its arrogance, I do understand why someone would go to that extreme, after so many years of being made to feel inferior. Usually I forgive it for a certain period of time, but after that I just feel sorry for them.

Exactly, which is why I wrote this:

There is a difference between telling yourself that you know the bullies were wrong, that you really are intelligent, and between saying that intelligence is a reason why being autistic is a valuable way of being. I have experienced some rather severe bullying, being called a *** and a lesbo in addition to constant, rather severe physical attacks, and I have also been said to be of high intelligence.

But I wouldn't say that "I am proud of being autistic because I have high intelligence" or such similar statements. I understand that the intentions behind such statements aren't always elitist - but sometimes they are, and those I oppose. Even well-meaning statements should be questioned, though. Not attacked, but certainly questioned.

yeah true...but I can absolutely relate with so many of the thinking processes i've seen in other Aspies.