Has anyone ever got a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder?
I used to get anxiety but really I couldn't give a *&^%%$ what most people think of me anyway. I had a friend who would just about hide out in her home everyday and she had a diagnosis of social anxiety.
So could someone have AS and social anxiety?
I've got both. One led to the other. I have no idea what to do in social situations, so they make me nervous. People would try to force me to interact. I tell them I don't know what to do. They don't believe me and push me on. I make a mistake, they laugh and I'm afraid to try it again. Or, I try, make a mistake and someone yells at me, "You just don't say that!" I ask why not. They think I'm being sarcastic, refuse to answer and alienate me more. Eventually, they just give up on me which leads to further isolation. The only way I can avoid what they do, and the tension it causes, is to avoid them. They ask me why I avoid them. I tell them its because they yell at me. They tell me, "Well, if you would just say the right thing." I tell them I don't know what that is. They still don't believe me and think I'm making up lame excuses. Most people I know can't handle my AS traits. It frustrates them too much. That pushes even more of them away.
Khaliban, You just told the story of my life. IMHO, we have Social Anxiety Disorder forced on us by the NTs. The NTs would react in the same way in the same situations.
An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is perfectly normal! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
yeah, I'm kind of convinced that whats going on is that when enough of a set of personality and sensory traits get mixed together with a certain environment and parents/teachers who don't know how to direct, the behavoirs are labeled a variety of 'disorders' to explain it.
Like dyspraxia - it's the physical portion of many aspie type symptoms:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyspraxia
He hasn't been diagnosed, but I'm convinced he has a form of this. At his past school he was scolded for not being 'neat' with his homework. We switched schools and now he's going to occupational therapy because they believe it is connected to his other symptoms of slow reading - even though he has a vocabulary several years above his age.
Because I 'get him' I spend time teaching him social stuff all the time - like eye contact and speaking slow and giving people he adores space while acknowledging people who talk to him. I was never taught these things because it is assumed that kids will pick them up - so I had a lot of social anxiety... but I didn't get any fancy label - except 'unpopular' and weird.
The 'he' is my son. No edit option.
Thank you, because there was someone I knew who must have had both. He told me he had Asperger's but then other people tell me that he must have had social anxiety. He just had a job were he constantly travelled with a bunch of other people and there was constant socializing. He liked to be buddies with just one person at a time and that caused some tension. He did not like to be alone too much.
I was shy as a child and also what I call "socially tone deaf," which made me awkward in many of my interactions with other kids, but even at that early age I would say I didn't have social
anxiety as much as I had social
indifference...I was simply happier spending time alone than with others. That is still true today, even though years of life experience have greatly improved my social skills. I am animated, outgoing and sociable at work and with a few friends whose homes I visit, but I only go to actual social "events" two or three times a year, not because I am anxious but because I just can't be bothered and very much prefer quiet evenings alone at home. When I do go out, I am OK for 2 or 3 hours, but then I begin to feel bored or crowded and am ready to leave. I do think I am happiest and healthiest living alone...it's easier to be around people all day if I have my solitude to look forward to.
couldbecousin,
That is interesting and good to read... I have put off saying I think I'm aspie like because there are times I can appear 'out-going' - but usually it is when I am talking about an interest of mine in a situation where I am sharing with people who I trust to accept me.
I have had people tell me that it's like a switch turns on and I light up and it's amazing to watch. If I think about that at the moment, I get self-conscious and stammer... so I try not to think about it.
Like you I can usually do something socially demanding for about 3 hours before I start to shut down and need to go rest. Holiday parties with family and all the kids and chatty conversation can be the most exhausting thing for me... I end up finding some place quiet to hang out before I can rejoin.
I don't live alone, but I stay at home while the kids go to school, which gives me my peace. During the summer though, I get grumpier and grumpier until Mommy needs a time out. Thank God for DVD's!
couldbecousin,
That is interesting and good to read... I have put off saying I think I'm aspie like because there are times I can appear 'out-going' - but usually it is when I am talking about an interest of mine in a situation where I am sharing with people who I trust to accept me.
That sounds just like me!
I love to talk and can actually be the "life of the party," especially when talking about a subject I love and know well. What I find so tiring about socializing is sitting through 2 or 3 hours in which I may spend only 5 or 10 minutes talking this way and the rest of the time sitting around, waiting a polite length of time to go home, longing to be online...
*L* yeah - being online you can choose what conversations to skip and which ones to engage in without appearing rude or having to fake it... and there is not as much fear of going on too long and boring people without realizing it until you've alienated everyone in the room by getting pissed off when you're inturrupted. You get to finish your thought and nobody is obligued to listen to all of it, they can reply or not reply and you don't have this moment of 'oops' as you realize their eyes are glazed over.