Aspies For Freedom

Hi, my name is Phil Commander and I do videos on You Tube. When I first started doing videos I had only heard of people with autism/aspergers who are offended by parents like me trying to 'cure' their children. After posting videos though I had my first contact with these people and was attacked and acted in a defensive way.
But as time went on and I was able to make contact with more reasonable people I thought about your side and I agree with a lot of what you all say. I do believe that you are made to feel like societies lepers and I see now how many of my comments would come across as being insensitive. They weren't insensitive, they were uninformed.
So I am trying to make an effort to find some common ground with your community so that my future videos will not repeat the same mistakes of my previous videos.
I do apologize for any comments I have made in the past in my videos that upset anyone. It bothers me that I would have made anyone feel like a second class citizen by things I've said. I have four portraits in my childrens playroom, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa, Princess Dianna, and Ghandi. They are my inspirations for they helped others without asking anything in return. they stood up for others. That's why it bothers me that I may have been offensive to a community that could be viewed as the underdog. I would rather defend or at the very least just not offend your community. I haven't and i apologize for my failure to do so.
I don't belong to ANY autism groups and NEVER read or have read their websites/articles/emails. I don't know what they stand for but I recently was sent an email with a link to a website called (i think) autismhaters or something like that. I found it offensive and I see why you guys jumped down my throat. I do NOT have that mentality towards autism and i know thats hard to believe by the title of some of my videos and things i said in them. It was due more to a misunderstanding than a reflection of my heart.
Anyways, just wanted to introduce myself. I am not looking to change anyones opinion in this group but am hoping to have my views expanded. If my mere presence in this group (i dont plan on posting much at all, just reading) bothers any individuals I am willing to drop out. This is your forum and I don't want you guys to feel like I am invading it or anything.
Thanks for listening
phil

If find it good that you have no intention of offending, at the very least the people characterised with autism or asperger.

Hello, usually I'd say Once a curebie always a curebie. However, I guess Its a step forward for appoligising, Depends if you really mean it. You'll find most of us DONT want to be cured. I know I can be a bit harsh but I strongly dislike the thought of a cure, And all curebies associated with it. However if you really mean it. I'm glad you stepped towards understanding instead of cure

Hi Phil, I liked your post very much. Very big of you. I hope you continue to post as the only way two 'sides' can reconcile is to communicate. I think the most important thing for people with different views to bring to the table is patience and flexibility in thought. Unfortunately this isn't always the easiest thing for someone within the spectrum to do! Be patient (and diplomatic!) with us and maybe we can learn from each other. Welcome, Dan

Hi Phil,
I think it is great that you want to better understand our position.  You will probably understand, from your experience with the extremist curebie groups, that our side has a divide too- some people here get very angry and violent about their beliefs, others remain calm and strive for understanding.  Some people here are willing to compromise, many of us are not.  The longer you are here, the wider a range of views and personalities you will see and it is very enlightening!  Feel free to dig through older threads for info, and I suggest you pay close attention to announcements- particularly the Issues of Treating Comorbids and Judge Rotenberg Center announcements, in Treatment in Society and News forums, respectively.

It is great to see a curbie trying to understand our perspective and being openminded enough to consider change.  Most curbies that I have met do not want to hear about our views or find some way to discount them.  But "converting" curbies, so to speak, is an integral part of moving our views into the mainstream, and so I welcome you to AFF!

Thank you.

"short on empathy, NOT compassion."

M,  i like your signature a lot ! So true ...

Hey phil, I am glad you joined our forum. Is your son aspergers/HFA? Does he go to a regular elementary school? Always, there are elementary and middle school kids that become very judging towards anyone who isn't just like them, whether they are gay, nerdy, fat, or simply not interested in being popular. Usually in high school, they just remain aloof. If your son is having problems at school, talk to his teacher(s) and the principal, and make sure they can help control bullying issues. Not that I have a child of my own, but this is what my mom did when i was younger. Also, if you haven't already, put him into a social skills program at school. I've been in it for 6 years and it helped me so much, most people don't notice my aspergers anymore. Yet I still have special interests, and at home, I prefer to be alone. I am not always super social, and i beleive that it is very important for every person to have some time for him/herself. This way, a person can know what he/she likes and can work on what they like without receiving unnessasay criticism from others.
And i am sorry for getting the wrong impression of you out of your videos on youtube.

Some here hate the idea of a cure. I presonaly don't want a cure for myself or my friends because all my life I have had to figure out how to cope with it, and I like my friends the way they are even though we have gone through hours of no talking. Some cures I hear are dangerous in fact, and the danger against a person's health is my main concern about cures.

Living like an aspie my whole life, it has been who I am and has made me who I am today. My advice is to not ever call our views garbage, if you ever done so. (I don't really know you, so I'm just sayin...) Don't cuss in a video. If you use cussing and rough language, don't expect parents or anyone else to listen to the rest of it. Read any complaining, oppinions, problems, etc. that autistic people and their families and friends write. I found it very edgucational, and it helped open my eyes to alot of things I havn't thought about or realised before. I have descovered Aspergers back about five, maybe six years ago. Just reading everything helped very, very much.

This is so weird, but autistic people always used to irritate me....totally.
Now I realize that I was seeing something in myself that I did not like and did not even suspect was there.
Now, it is the NTs who usually get my nannygoat, and I would not wish to be one if I could.

Now if only we could replace you with all of Speaks.

His son's an autie... his videos say he's gotten a lot better over the years, so he's probably HFA and pretty high intelligence. Cute kid, too.