12-05-2006, 06:55 PM
I have had a hard time of it with mental health team, been treating my case as first paranoia, then bi-polar and now 'mood disorder' made worse by SSRI's. The pychologist at CBT said she felt I had Asperger's syndrome, dispite that the pychiatrists have suggested I am pychotic and dellusional, rather than annoyed at them for trying to give me old anti-pychotics due to the risks of catonia. Now I am paying privately to be assessed. Given my experience my colleagues are doubting that I have asperger's even though they all recognise my traits because they have criticised me for them.
The misunderstanding of autistic spectrum disorders among my colleagues is amazing I work with learning dis and a client with autism.
I have had comments such as your poor eye contact is due to lack of confidence, you are clinically depressed, you have had a bad life (no a wondeful autistic life with a lot of confusion, frustration like edward scissorhands and sometimes anger when I have trusted and loved unconditionally then minipulated, tret badly etc).
Cut a long story short I will panic if people tell me off, criticise me for my difficulties/differences or even doubt me (I have a big issue with not being believed you can only imagine why that is, the trouble I have had the boy who cried wolf, the girl who was not crying wolf but it seems so - communication impairments). I have had well we are all autistic, we all feel that sometimes.
My answer is to keep quiet, bit like when I was a teenager and I did not talk for years. I can talk on here!
I do another thread later for my actual work issues, how I do the job.
I have asked that I do not work with a service user with challenging verbal behaviour as I am very very sensitive to noise and it causes me anxiety.
I am looking forward to working with my autistic client, he loves music as do I, he like getting out walking for miles as do I, he like peace and queit as do I. I can play the guitar with him and practice my own skills, he loves that.
The staff are the issue. Mostly because it winds me up with how they work with the guys sometimes. For example talking to the autistic guy like a baby. A few bully the guys into being 'normal', not deliberately, to put another way I feel like they will try to 'fix me' as a way to help me. My closest friends have adapted for example they will not assume that I am miserable because I look so and will ask me am I okay, they give me chance to talk and except as who I am they do not doubt that I am autistic at all.
My worst impairment is imagination, I have not even got back to work and I don't know what they will be like.
I have a problem doing my paper work, been told by a colleague well you will not get office hours you will have to do it in dribs and drabs like everyone else. I need routine, I need to know that this is what I need to do, I have tues morning 2 hours to write this report, not 15 minutes of mon, half an hour on wed. I can not do office work on care shifts due to the noise and the people around. To even ask for these adjustments that I need, I will be just moved to somewhere that does not have paperwork and the change would be terrible. I am able to being empathetic to my clients because I know them so well. Also I do not want to work with high care needs, I have terrible gross coordination isssues and I have trouble moving and handling using hoist, plus well I have a big problem with personal care - sensitive to smells say no more.
I need routine, it was the loss of routine that made me 'ill'. Win lose situation. My manager doing all she can for me.
If I say what I need under the fact that I am 'mentally ill' I come under disability discrimination.
They send me to an OT the doctors just going to say the job makes me ill fullstop, when it does not, I love my job, I got ill because of an irrational fear of losing it/moving to different dept.
I am considering when I am 'better' to move on and work with kids.
The misunderstanding of autistic spectrum disorders among my colleagues is amazing I work with learning dis and a client with autism.
I have had comments such as your poor eye contact is due to lack of confidence, you are clinically depressed, you have had a bad life (no a wondeful autistic life with a lot of confusion, frustration like edward scissorhands and sometimes anger when I have trusted and loved unconditionally then minipulated, tret badly etc).
Cut a long story short I will panic if people tell me off, criticise me for my difficulties/differences or even doubt me (I have a big issue with not being believed you can only imagine why that is, the trouble I have had the boy who cried wolf, the girl who was not crying wolf but it seems so - communication impairments). I have had well we are all autistic, we all feel that sometimes.
My answer is to keep quiet, bit like when I was a teenager and I did not talk for years. I can talk on here!
I do another thread later for my actual work issues, how I do the job.
I have asked that I do not work with a service user with challenging verbal behaviour as I am very very sensitive to noise and it causes me anxiety.
I am looking forward to working with my autistic client, he loves music as do I, he like getting out walking for miles as do I, he like peace and queit as do I. I can play the guitar with him and practice my own skills, he loves that.
The staff are the issue. Mostly because it winds me up with how they work with the guys sometimes. For example talking to the autistic guy like a baby. A few bully the guys into being 'normal', not deliberately, to put another way I feel like they will try to 'fix me' as a way to help me. My closest friends have adapted for example they will not assume that I am miserable because I look so and will ask me am I okay, they give me chance to talk and except as who I am they do not doubt that I am autistic at all.
My worst impairment is imagination, I have not even got back to work and I don't know what they will be like.
I have a problem doing my paper work, been told by a colleague well you will not get office hours you will have to do it in dribs and drabs like everyone else. I need routine, I need to know that this is what I need to do, I have tues morning 2 hours to write this report, not 15 minutes of mon, half an hour on wed. I can not do office work on care shifts due to the noise and the people around. To even ask for these adjustments that I need, I will be just moved to somewhere that does not have paperwork and the change would be terrible. I am able to being empathetic to my clients because I know them so well. Also I do not want to work with high care needs, I have terrible gross coordination isssues and I have trouble moving and handling using hoist, plus well I have a big problem with personal care - sensitive to smells say no more.
I need routine, it was the loss of routine that made me 'ill'. Win lose situation. My manager doing all she can for me.
If I say what I need under the fact that I am 'mentally ill' I come under disability discrimination.
They send me to an OT the doctors just going to say the job makes me ill fullstop, when it does not, I love my job, I got ill because of an irrational fear of losing it/moving to different dept.
I am considering when I am 'better' to move on and work with kids.