11-07-2006, 04:00 AM
Hi, I rant a lot and I’m sorry.
I’ve always thought I was odd from everyone else, I often get complimented on my intelligence but just as often get told I’m weird and “just don’t get it”. I started questioning myself the day my room mate was yelling and accusing me about who-knows-what which ultimately led him to hitting me, I seriously believe I did nothing wrong or right as I try not to do anything at all to avoid those sort of unexpected confrontations. My sister was there the whole time and could not provide me with answers one way or the other but suggested that I start working on expressing myself somehow to let people know what I am feeling. I’m recently 22 and male.
This all came to my eventual task of finding out if I was in fact different or if, doubtfully, everyone I knew was nuts. I was working late and summing all of my symptoms when it occurred to me that I had heard something like this many years before, jumped on the net and here I am finally finding answers or at least others that have the similar types of problems as me.
I’ve just dot pointed areas that stick out in my mind or past experiences that seem odd. Some match up to the wikipedia description but after a quick look through the forums I can see some people have experiences outside of the definition.
- I laugh at jokes because I know the tone people use in their voices when they are telling a joke, occasionally I do have to test the waters with a small laugh like I’m started to connect the dots of a joke to give the other person time to either leave a large enough pause as a finisher or to continue, I know they are meant to be funny not because I find the general sense of humour funny. If anything I take them seriously.
- I cannot tell when people are being sarcastic to me and mistake it as a serious statement even though my humour has been described as a dry sarcasm. I usually cover up my ignorance with a laugh and pretend I knew the whole time.
- I am fascinated by spirals and triangles and can usually doodle them whilst thinking without even knowing it. I can work out a problem after some time of thinking and when I look down at the page see some spirals or triangles in the margin or where I’m supposed to write the answers. I remember doing them but not know why I did as they serve no relevant purpose to the paper.
- I am constantly thinking about my actions whilst out in public, I’m pretty sure I can pass myself off as being a regular joe with a few minor idiosyncrasies but I constantly need to think about what actions or words I say or do that could cause problems or awkward moments where I eventually need to apologise. This has taken loads of practise and I have found that a lot of the few friendships I can get from time to time have been strained.
- I watch episodes of family guy every night to fall asleep too even though I know them and some times don’t even want to watch them I just have to put it on before I will allow myself to fall sleep.
- I remember odd parts of conversations and can recall them years later without a problem, even telling people where we were, the date and rough/exact time, where they were standing, the weather etc. but have no control over the content I remember. However, given a verbal order for fast food or a shopping list with more than two items and I absolutely will forget one or more of the items or will forget the directions to the store if I have not been there before.
- I can pick up a phone and make a phone call without to much concern but once I have hung up the entire phone conversation will remain in my heard for at least half an hour as I pace around analysing what I have said, how I said it and to remember it as a way of getting the same results in the future. This also occurs when I interact with strangers like checkout attendants etc. but usually only half the time, longer conversation like anything that requires me to talk more than 3-4 times or if there is a sudden change between topics that I did not steer it too are often the culprits.
- I talk to myself as if out loud but in my head. I often find I usually ask my self questions to test myself as if some one else was querying me so I would have a response ready for them that would not be impolite and not further the conversation if I didn’t want it to.
- My mother has described me as being some one that needed to sit on the side lines and learn absolutely every rule of a game before I would even contemplate participation.
- I was ahead of the class in mathematics right up until high school where I found computers and dedicated myself to that instead, to which I received near perfect scores through college, I have only just recently started studying mathematics again and have thus far got half way through it with a perfect score but have interest to pursue physics afterwards. The logic of computers, maths etc is the only thing I get almost naturally. I think the way I understand a computer is comparable to the way the people around me understand how to interact with one another. I enjoy debugging and testing software mostly, any way that I need to keep trying different avenues of an approach to finally work out the logical problems and solutions.
- I do not work with computers because I cannot pass a job interview but even then I did a month of work experience at a small software company but found in the small office environment I would spend more time focused on my behaviour than the software believing that in the long run I needed to keep from making any social problems, now 3 years on and older I see that, even though their outward social intrusions to my work say otherwise, they would have preferred to make money and progress than to have an awkward chat. I am a cleaner but am relieved not to have to work with anyone else, still wish I could pass a job interview though to do what I prefer to do.
- After introducing their boyfriends to me in my house and in my personal space where I let my developed social skills lapse, I would often say simple things like “You have an large head” while shaking their hand or tell them they chew rather loudly but while in my comfort zone I do not even realise I have said anything wrong until my sisters confront me about it later. Even then I know now it’s wrong to say socially, but I don’t personally find it a wrong thing to say ever.
- I very rarely have a facial expression what so ever, often being told by people to smile more. I don’t like giving eye contact as I cannot work out if I am staring to long or to short so choose to avoid it completely.
- I can hear high pitched whines of a television left on but on mute or in standby which is irritating. Others say they cannot hear what I can but I usually miss half the words people speak to me and use subtitles on movies even though I can hear everything fine, it just might not stick in.
- On the very rare occasions I go I sit in corners at pubs and clubs, always the first to leave out of a mixture of concern that I’m not being sociable enough and boredom. I would much rather be home alone working on a computer or math etc.
There is a lot more but I think you get the general idea of me. The dictionary definition is good but does/can not delve into specifics. This is my take on some of the symptoms described and I’m wondering if anyone else has similar experiences?
Having a correct diagnosis would make me relieved if anything, I could tell my family and friends who would be very understanding and finally perhaps dedicate more thought to topics of interest than to basic interaction. To me this sounds as if I have Asperger’s Syndrome but am looking for some sort of clarification.
A friend says she has done workshops on Aspergers before she was allowed to work with children who have it, she says I am not even close to it however she also says that aspergers is one of the worst forms of autism? So I’ve got all of the above and a friend saying you don’t do that, I am confused and thought I would post here to prevent any denial setting in about my symptoms.
I’ve always thought I was odd from everyone else, I often get complimented on my intelligence but just as often get told I’m weird and “just don’t get it”. I started questioning myself the day my room mate was yelling and accusing me about who-knows-what which ultimately led him to hitting me, I seriously believe I did nothing wrong or right as I try not to do anything at all to avoid those sort of unexpected confrontations. My sister was there the whole time and could not provide me with answers one way or the other but suggested that I start working on expressing myself somehow to let people know what I am feeling. I’m recently 22 and male.
This all came to my eventual task of finding out if I was in fact different or if, doubtfully, everyone I knew was nuts. I was working late and summing all of my symptoms when it occurred to me that I had heard something like this many years before, jumped on the net and here I am finally finding answers or at least others that have the similar types of problems as me.
I’ve just dot pointed areas that stick out in my mind or past experiences that seem odd. Some match up to the wikipedia description but after a quick look through the forums I can see some people have experiences outside of the definition.
- I laugh at jokes because I know the tone people use in their voices when they are telling a joke, occasionally I do have to test the waters with a small laugh like I’m started to connect the dots of a joke to give the other person time to either leave a large enough pause as a finisher or to continue, I know they are meant to be funny not because I find the general sense of humour funny. If anything I take them seriously.
- I cannot tell when people are being sarcastic to me and mistake it as a serious statement even though my humour has been described as a dry sarcasm. I usually cover up my ignorance with a laugh and pretend I knew the whole time.
- I am fascinated by spirals and triangles and can usually doodle them whilst thinking without even knowing it. I can work out a problem after some time of thinking and when I look down at the page see some spirals or triangles in the margin or where I’m supposed to write the answers. I remember doing them but not know why I did as they serve no relevant purpose to the paper.
- I am constantly thinking about my actions whilst out in public, I’m pretty sure I can pass myself off as being a regular joe with a few minor idiosyncrasies but I constantly need to think about what actions or words I say or do that could cause problems or awkward moments where I eventually need to apologise. This has taken loads of practise and I have found that a lot of the few friendships I can get from time to time have been strained.
- I watch episodes of family guy every night to fall asleep too even though I know them and some times don’t even want to watch them I just have to put it on before I will allow myself to fall sleep.
- I remember odd parts of conversations and can recall them years later without a problem, even telling people where we were, the date and rough/exact time, where they were standing, the weather etc. but have no control over the content I remember. However, given a verbal order for fast food or a shopping list with more than two items and I absolutely will forget one or more of the items or will forget the directions to the store if I have not been there before.
- I can pick up a phone and make a phone call without to much concern but once I have hung up the entire phone conversation will remain in my heard for at least half an hour as I pace around analysing what I have said, how I said it and to remember it as a way of getting the same results in the future. This also occurs when I interact with strangers like checkout attendants etc. but usually only half the time, longer conversation like anything that requires me to talk more than 3-4 times or if there is a sudden change between topics that I did not steer it too are often the culprits.
- I talk to myself as if out loud but in my head. I often find I usually ask my self questions to test myself as if some one else was querying me so I would have a response ready for them that would not be impolite and not further the conversation if I didn’t want it to.
- My mother has described me as being some one that needed to sit on the side lines and learn absolutely every rule of a game before I would even contemplate participation.
- I was ahead of the class in mathematics right up until high school where I found computers and dedicated myself to that instead, to which I received near perfect scores through college, I have only just recently started studying mathematics again and have thus far got half way through it with a perfect score but have interest to pursue physics afterwards. The logic of computers, maths etc is the only thing I get almost naturally. I think the way I understand a computer is comparable to the way the people around me understand how to interact with one another. I enjoy debugging and testing software mostly, any way that I need to keep trying different avenues of an approach to finally work out the logical problems and solutions.
- I do not work with computers because I cannot pass a job interview but even then I did a month of work experience at a small software company but found in the small office environment I would spend more time focused on my behaviour than the software believing that in the long run I needed to keep from making any social problems, now 3 years on and older I see that, even though their outward social intrusions to my work say otherwise, they would have preferred to make money and progress than to have an awkward chat. I am a cleaner but am relieved not to have to work with anyone else, still wish I could pass a job interview though to do what I prefer to do.
- After introducing their boyfriends to me in my house and in my personal space where I let my developed social skills lapse, I would often say simple things like “You have an large head” while shaking their hand or tell them they chew rather loudly but while in my comfort zone I do not even realise I have said anything wrong until my sisters confront me about it later. Even then I know now it’s wrong to say socially, but I don’t personally find it a wrong thing to say ever.
- I very rarely have a facial expression what so ever, often being told by people to smile more. I don’t like giving eye contact as I cannot work out if I am staring to long or to short so choose to avoid it completely.
- I can hear high pitched whines of a television left on but on mute or in standby which is irritating. Others say they cannot hear what I can but I usually miss half the words people speak to me and use subtitles on movies even though I can hear everything fine, it just might not stick in.
- On the very rare occasions I go I sit in corners at pubs and clubs, always the first to leave out of a mixture of concern that I’m not being sociable enough and boredom. I would much rather be home alone working on a computer or math etc.
There is a lot more but I think you get the general idea of me. The dictionary definition is good but does/can not delve into specifics. This is my take on some of the symptoms described and I’m wondering if anyone else has similar experiences?
Having a correct diagnosis would make me relieved if anything, I could tell my family and friends who would be very understanding and finally perhaps dedicate more thought to topics of interest than to basic interaction. To me this sounds as if I have Asperger’s Syndrome but am looking for some sort of clarification.
A friend says she has done workshops on Aspergers before she was allowed to work with children who have it, she says I am not even close to it however she also says that aspergers is one of the worst forms of autism? So I’ve got all of the above and a friend saying you don’t do that, I am confused and thought I would post here to prevent any denial setting in about my symptoms.