Aspies For Freedom

we have a TSS we can't stand now

and my daughter is starting school in january, i am on a list with lot's of other agencies.

She comes in on her first day, gets in my daughters face and makes her look at her, rips her book cause both my daughter and her are holding onto it and TSS wants to take it from her then tells me she's not autistic that she is spoiled.

My daughter learns from these special book and she ripped it on her.

She then went on about that i should put her in her playpen for her aggression.

Then she went on about my cats saying they were coming near her cause the cats know that she doesnt like them.

The BSC is on her side about lot's of this so i don't know what to do, did anyone ever have this problem.

oh and i forgot she wanted all the toys off the floor and in a box when she comes on thurs and the playpen in the hall and to get my daughter bigger chalk then she has.

[edited by breaking up for readability - moderator]

What are TSS and BSC?

Tss is the ABA therapist and the BSC is the person that comes out to the house once a week to check and see what the ABA therapist is doing with my child.

If I were you, I would fire this ABA person straight away as she is only doing harm to your daughter rather than helping her. It is just not worth putting her through this kind of torture and this woman shouldn't be let near any child.

I don't know how they can side with that sadist.

I'd imagine this person coming around is costing a lot of money. It would make more sense spending the money on something you and your kids can enjoy rather than on someone whose actions will only make your daughter worse.

We had a TSS who was a bully.  She demanded compliance for all her commands, and when our son asked "why" her response was pretty much "because I say so".

We complained, and received a new TSS.

At other times, we have had pretty weak (although undamaging) BSC's. Again, we've 'fired' several of them. So,if your BSC is being unsympathetic, try replacing them as well.

Remember, the organization providing the TSS and BSC only gets paid if you use them. You have some power here.

P.S. For those of you who haven't dealt with the system of TSSs and BSCs, it can be quite frustrating. A TSS typically has a Bachelor's degree, and the good ones go off to graduate school after a couple of years (thus restarting the process of looking for another good TSS). A BSC has a Masters Degree, and the good ones often go off to PhD programs (thus restarting the process of looking for another good BSC).

Throw that ABA person out. She can't destroy items that are so important to an Autistic person.

3 things.

1st-

Since she wants all the toys picked up, I'm guessing they weren't when she arrived. Perhaps this is just due to bad timing. (My son's room is NOT always clean, and when it IS cleaned, it doesn't stay that way long.) But perhaps she did have a point (even if she went about pointing it out in all the wrong ways!!!) Perhaps there are some 'spoiling' issues your family may need to re-evaluate (I know I have them with my boy, he's an autistic 4 year old, and sometimes it's easier to just do things for him to keep him happy. I really have to watch myself, because in the long run, it hurts him more than it helps.)

2nd- If ANYONE damaged something that my son was attached to, I would be upset. If they did it on purpose, or if on accident were unapologetic (as it seems in your case) I would be LIVID! So I really feel for you and most ecspecially your daughter. I hope you were able to 'fix' the book... and if not, perhaps there is someway you can get the TSS to get a new one (or the agency she comes from... if they come from agencies, I'm not familiar with them myself, sorry.)

3rd- People are graced with so many wonderous gifts it's impossible to understand or even be aware of them all. How many times have we all heard that your 1st 'instinct' is usually the right one?

Follow your instinct. If you CANT stand her, then DONT!!!!!!!!!

If this woman acts so rudely and meanly, she shouldn't be working with little children anyway.

thanks for replies. well the spoiling we dont really do and my daughter would be happy in a room alone with nothing to be honest. her condition the TSS thought wasnt autism just being spoiled. and then after she was here a bit she realized my daughter was indeed autistic. and it's funny how someone can come in for one minute and just say my daughter is spoiled when doctors and specialists takes hours deciding that.

I hope you don't have to pay for this TSS.

I have taken a pretty comprehensive ABA course, my daughter is an ABA therapist, and I have been involved with children who are in ABA programs. The therapist's comments about your daughter being spoiled were very unprofessional and she was totally out of line to say your daughter was not autistic. This is so not within an ABA therapist's job description or expertise.

ln ABA it IS important that there are no distractions just what is being worked with in the session (therefore no extra toys - only those being used as motivators). If the book was not in the scheduled acivity it should have been taken care of prior to the session - not by the therapist grabbing it from your child. Preparations and expectations should have been made at visits before beginning the program with your child. If the book was a motivator for a first session it would have been a poor choice since it was easily damaged.

First sessions can seem cruel even if they are not because there are expectations put on the child that they may not be used to and that need to be put in place in order for the learning to take place.

Be informed about what is to take place at the sessions and why. Some very specific skill is being taught at each session until it is mastered and this is all known in advance.

For any behaviour that you are not comfortable with find out what the specific purpose is. Some ABA therapists use aversive techniques that may have been taught to them yet are not necessary (goes back to original ABA therapy methods by Lovaas). Certainly discuss a therapist's behaviour with the supervisor of your program whether postive or negative and gain an understanding of what and why they do something. In otherwords keep a good line of communication going so you can understand and support what is going on - or not.

Bosh, the thing that would make it all more difficult is this lady also said she had a very demanding and noisy toddler (who could easily have been on the autistic spectrum itself). She seemed to be having far more issues with his behaviour than her daughter's so maybe it would have been better to have the TSS for the boy so the mum could spend more time with her daughter.

She also said she had autistic spectrum herself and this often affects the ability of a person to organise and prioritise. That would be why some things weren't put away when the TSS came to visit.

I don't know if this would be an issue for her, but as an Aspie I would get very stressed if somebody I didn't particularly like to deal with was in my house several hours a day. I would feel my house was being "invaded" and would also feel inhibited from doing what I usually do, such as have a nap during the day, listen to music, or make a mess with my craft items. I'd also feel the pressure on to have the place neat and organised and would therefore be a nervous wreck.

ABA hasn't caught on to such a large degree in Australia and I'm not sure how it works timewise or if the parents pay or the state or what the long term success rate is. It won't cure autism but if it results in a child who can cope reasonably well with school and has a couple of friends at least, it would probably be classed a "success".