Aspies For Freedom

Thought I'd tell my history. I'm an aspie, who has been affected enough by the AS to need disability (I can not keep a job). I don't hate my ASD though. I think I'm kind of different, unique, and special, and I would not change if I could, except for being able to hold a job. Even then, I wouldn't care what kind of job it was because I'm not into status.

I love kids. We adopted four and I gave birth to one. One of the children we adopted was a two year old who showed signs of atypical development. This was before MY diagnosis. I thought he had ASD right off the bat, but we still loved and wanted him (I'm finding out that people are shocked that anyone would deliberately adopt an ASD child). He was difficult at first, until he broke into  speech, and now he's an angel. Because of all his interventions, he's doing fantastic. He will probably need minimal help/prompting as an adult, but is learning to live in a confusing, NT world. I think it helps him that I have ASD. I don't flutter about changing him. I know he's happy and likes who he is. If he needs a little help as an adult, so what? That doesn't make one unhappy. Complete independence seems to me to be a NT norm/goal, one that puzzles me. I don't think it's bad to be slightly dependent. I wish I'd had the little bit of "looking in on" he may need as an adult. I don't worry about whether or not he'll marry and have children because that's up to him.

Anyways, just introducing myself. I wouldn't feel so sorry for your ASD kids. ASD itself doesn't necessarily make one unhappy and being NT doesn't mean you'll be happy.

If you are raising 5 children, you are successfully working a full time job.  I think it's wonderful that you've adopted, and it sounds like you are a fantastic mom.  You are succeeding in the most important job in the world there is.

Thanks. I love kids. As an aspie there were things I couldn't do well, like keeping track of schedules, keeping the house in good order, etc. but the grown kids say I loved them a lot and they thought I was a good mom. I still have a 13 year old and a 10 year old and it's great having them around.

That's really good and I think kids remember the love (or lack of love) they were given a lot more than a bit of disorganisation and mess. In fact, most kids are probably very nervous in a house that is immaculate at all times. They wouldn't be able to make any messes at all.

Hi Pam,

Not meaning to take you off topic here .. but I am wondering if you would mind posting here how you were able to get disability?  

We are in the process of trying to help our adult son do this, with his Asperger, OCD, ADD, learning disabilities, borderline low IQ diagnosis.  

I understand that even with his diagnosis, this will be really tricky and wonder if you have any suggestions/ideas as to what would be important to include or not include in our summation of his disabilities?  

I would be very interested info you might offer in regards to this.

Thank you,
JustHoping